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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU ,dd of to uni we are skint...AIBU to think the student lone will cover her for everything???

259 replies

Petal40 · 19/08/2016 11:34

Just that really...she's not saved.we are struggling .she chose to save to travel.not save for uni.she thinks it's all going to be ok because she will get a student lone....but will that lone cover everything?? And when she finishes she will be £60 grand approx in debt ...well our first house where she was born cost less than the debt she will be in after 3 years..I hope to god she changes her mind and decides not to go

OP posts:
user1471544305 · 19/08/2016 13:27

I think if they get less than others because of YOUR earnings its your responsibility to top it up to what they would have got if they were estranged from you or you earnt below the threshold. My children both of them needed no help at uni and managed perfectly fine on the student and maintenance grants/loans but Im a single parent and earnt below the threshold so they got the maximum allowance.

MindSweeper · 19/08/2016 13:28

I think if they get less than others because of YOUR earnings its your responsibility to top it up to what they would have got if they were estranged from you or you earnt below the threshold

Bit simplistic that though isn't it.

Earning more doesn't always equal more disposable income.

user1471544305 · 19/08/2016 13:28

As an aside both managed fine without jobs, although they done internships. My youngest didnt even need an overdraft.

user1471544305 · 19/08/2016 13:30

Why should children suffer because of their parents earnings? Why should they not be able to study due to what their parents earn it isnt fair is it. Children should not have to worry about working when they are working hard on a degree. My son goes to uni at 9am and gets home at 12 midnight 7 days a week, no time to work, he couldnt finish his PHD otherwise. Its not like it comes as a suprise to parents above the earning threshold they have had 18 years to sort themselves out to help their kids, who deserve the best education possible at the expense of their parents.

expatinscotland · 19/08/2016 13:30

YANBU. Some people go to uni, and they are not very sensible. They wind up with tons of debt and not very good job prospects. It's not the have all to end all and it's pretty melodramatic to suggest it's 'heartbreaking' for a parent to not want their child to go if they know they're one of those who's not the most sensible and/or on a course that isn't necessarily vocational. Saving tons of money to go travelling when you aren't clued up enough to have done your research first and realise your loan won't cover everything and your parents cannot afford to help you doesn't smack of good sense.

I'd just make it clear the loan won't cover everything and you cannot afford to fund her.

MindSweeper · 19/08/2016 13:33

Why should children suffer because of their parents earnings? Why should they not be able to study due to what their parents earn it isnt fair is it.

Why are they going to suffer? Op can't magic the money up, just like the majority of us who weren't eligible for full funding. If it's not there it's not there. Blame the SFE not the parents.

And if your son is doing a PHD I assume he is an adult, many adults do PHD's and work.

user1471342003 · 19/08/2016 13:33

I don't get why parents feel they have to give their children £100s of pounds a month to support them. Going to university away from home is all about growing up and learning to budget. My daughter shares a flat with her friend they pay about £400 a month each which the loan covers, but works in a pub which fits round lectures to pay bills and food. We can't help financially apart from going halves with her dad to pay her deposit. Shes really grown up from when she lived at home and expected us to dole money out all the time. Students years ago used to shop in oxfam and eat cheap food now they all seem to be in wine bars on their iPhone wearing lovely clothes, and at whose expense?

As for the 'mountain of debt' it doesn't affect their credit rating and only a small amount is payable (my son pays about £40 a month)

19lottie82 · 19/08/2016 13:34

Can she not post pone for a year, stay at home and work to save up a nest egg, then go next year?

MindSweeper · 19/08/2016 13:34

Too many people with the user2u382383 nickname. Did you all know you can click on My Mumsnet at the top, then click account and then change to something else?

InternationalHouseofToast · 19/08/2016 13:35

If she can, it's helpful for her to have ajob with a chain, such as Tesco or HMV for example, before she starts uni. You can often move your exisiting job to a new location, for when you're at university, and back again over the summer so you can keep working PT.

AngelicaSchuyler · 19/08/2016 13:37

Just to clarify OP, is your daughter aware that you won't be able to help her financially when she goes to uni or is she assuming that the money will come from somewhere?

Obviously it's her responsibility to budget and figure out how much it's going to cost, but it might be worth sitting down and making it clear to her if you haven't already (before she goes travelling!)

Good luck x

YorkieDorkie · 19/08/2016 13:38

I went to uni in a very cheap area - albeit an excellent university. My loan would have covered everything if I hadn't spent a hideous amount of money on complete crap along the way.

I woke strongly advise her getting a job to subsidise her food bills/social life etc and her loan could pay her accommodation.

Babyroobs · 19/08/2016 13:41

I thought the maintainence loan for low income families that some posters seem to be referring to was being scrapped from this year?

Original poster
Petal40 · 19/08/2016 13:43

User1471544....huuumm.we spent 18 yrs paying a whopping mortgage in an area that is expensive to give her and siblings stability ....we wanted to move to somewhere cheaper ,but felt stability was more important..we only claim child benefit..no tax credits..we earn too much...but it's all gone on the mortgage and 4 kids by the end of the month.....so we could move somewhere cheaper and release money to help her....but that dosnt help younger siblings who are very happy where they live and go to school

OP posts:
PhotosGinAndALongLieIn · 19/08/2016 13:44

I thought the maintainence loan for low income families that some posters seem to be referring to was being scrapped from this year?

It's the maintenance grant that has been scrapped. Lower income students would get a bigger loan now.

Babyroobs · 19/08/2016 13:46

Thanks Photos, I see now. So students from low income families just need to borrow more rather than getting a free grant but they would still be able to borrow more than a student from a higher income family.

animalmagic84 · 19/08/2016 13:47

As a poster has said up thread, whilst she will have "debt", it is not like normal debt - effectively it is like a 9% graduate tax on any earnings over and above £21k. If she ever lost her job or didn't work for some reason, she would never need to pay it back at all. It is not like normal debt. The worst thing you can generally do is pay back your student loan before saving for a house deposit etc, as the student loan debt will eventually get wiped in 30 years anyway.

She can get a part time job whilst at uni and that should help out with her costs, and then she can also work during holidays.

I would not suggest asking her to apply to a uni closer to home and living at home, unless that is truly what she wants to do.

BarbaraofSeville · 19/08/2016 13:48

Long hours aren't typical for students. I know someone doing a PHD and he's at home before 4 pm every day and he still has plenty of time to devote to a hobby.

I did my degree part time while working 30 hours per week for my employer, in addition to 10 hours contact time in one very long day.

Seeing as students are the ones who are going to benefit from increased earnings in the future, they should expect to take on the costs of their degree themselves, rather than their parents.

Agree with a PP who said that student loans should be thought more of as a graduate tax, because that's how it works in practice.

Original poster
Petal40 · 19/08/2016 13:48

Also...why arnt the government seeing 18 yr olds as adults...why does it go on parents earnings....it's not her fault we have a whopping mortgage and can't help her...yet people with parents on benefits get the full loan.dosnt seem fair to me...especially as we don't claim anything so arnt costing the government anything.

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 19/08/2016 13:51

DS2 is just about to go into his 2nd year at uni. He's a student nurse, so doesn't get the long holidays, he has to do placements on the wards (including nights and weekends) but he still has a job. He works in a pub, he does between 9-25 hours a week depending on his uni comittments. Nursing is hard, they're in lectures 9-5, but he still fits it in.

His bursary only just covers his rent, he gets a tiny loan, we pay for his food so he needs to work. He's not touched his overdraft this year and he hardly goes out. The vast majority of his friends work have jobs.

PhotosGinAndALongLieIn · 19/08/2016 13:53

Babyroobs

Yes exactly. I'm about to go into my third year and for the previous two I received the maximum loan and grant. This year I'll get around the same amount but all of it will eventually become repayable.

shovetheholly · 19/08/2016 13:53

It sounds like you have a lot of equity in your house and you are considering releasing some. My question is: why do this now? Let her take on the debt, learn to budget, get a job. Once all your kids are grown up, you can think about downsizing and, if you want, you can split what is released from the house between them for use as a housing deposit.

In many ways, a deposit is actually more difficult to scrape together than the repayment of the "debt".

Floisme · 19/08/2016 13:53

The maintenance grant (which was means tested and didn't have to be repaid) is being scrapped and added to the loan. I think this may only affect students starting this autumn but I'm not certain.

Unis still offer bursaries which are normally based on family income and don't have to be repaid.

Hours of study vary enormously, depending on your course.

Student finance changes all the time so what happened to you or your children may no longer be correct.

www.gov.uk/student-finance/overview

Babyroobs · 19/08/2016 13:54

I agree Petal. I don't understand why all students aren't treated the same regardless of parental income. My friend has 3 dc's who are likely to all go to uni. Half the week they live with their mum who is unemployed and the rest of the time with their dad who earns in excess of £100k. No doubt they will be entitled to the extra loans based on their mums income whilst their dad's is not taken into account. Or do they take both parents income into consideration? I don't like how the system assumes parents form higer income households are willing to help as not all are.

pinkie1982 · 19/08/2016 13:54

Why do people not read the posts?
OPs DD is not starting uni until NEXT YEAR - she is travelling first.
She can try to work whilst travelling, or cut her gap year short and come home after 6 months to work and SAVE.

My household income is well over £25k but as a PP said, that does NOT mean more disposable income.

As a teen I would never have expected my parents to fork out for Uni. I knew they couldn't afford it so I would never have gone for it. I worked my way up from the bottom, doing a job now managing people with these degrees and debt. I have working knowledge and 14 years experience. I know how much it can further a career in certain positions and I do applaud these individuals that put all the hard work in to become our Drs/vets/ect.

OP just be straight with her. Don't feel so pressured. Make sure she is aware of the situation. If she really wants this she will make it work and knuckle down to make it happen. It's DDs CHOICE.