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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU ,dd of to uni we are skint...AIBU to think the student lone will cover her for everything???

259 replies

Petal40 · 19/08/2016 11:34

Just that really...she's not saved.we are struggling .she chose to save to travel.not save for uni.she thinks it's all going to be ok because she will get a student lone....but will that lone cover everything?? And when she finishes she will be £60 grand approx in debt ...well our first house where she was born cost less than the debt she will be in after 3 years..I hope to god she changes her mind and decides not to go

OP posts:
Original poster
Petal40 · 19/08/2016 13:56

Yes shove the holly.you make a good point.....it's just hard knowing what to do.....I have a friend who for the whole time she has had kids has saved the child benefit in an account to give them for uni....I wish we had been in a position to do that...sadly we weren't

OP posts:
TheCuriousOwl · 19/08/2016 13:56

blindsider if you think student loan 'debt' is like a credit card, for instance, then you have no concept of how a student loan works.

It's literally a graduate tax that is paid once you earn over £21,000. You don't finish your degree and then have to start paying it back instantly whether you've got a job or not.

I have 2 degrees, one Arts, one vocational. During my NHS vocational course I had a number of jobs despite also doing a full year course and placements (like nursing but not nursing). My final year, my sister got married so was no longer classed as a dependent, so my parents got 'richer' on paper, so I suddenly was awarded £0 loan (as the funding system then meant there was no non means tested element of loan for NHS students). So I had no choice but to work.

It's crap beyond belief that you have to prove emancipation from your parents in order to qualify for more loan. But it is what it is and the reality isn't to sit handwringing about the unfairness but to go right, how can I earn enough to support myself to go and get this qualification.

Original poster
Petal40 · 19/08/2016 13:56

Thankyou pinkie x

OP posts:
TheCuriousOwl · 19/08/2016 13:58

Also Petal40 I did a postgrad with a career development loan- £10k to pay back over 5 years starting the minute I finished my course, whether I had a job or not- that was much scarier!! That really does focus your mind!

(paid off now though)

PinguForPresident · 19/08/2016 13:58

Well, you are costing the government plenty, OP. Presumably your 4 kids are state-educated? You all use the NHS. You claim child benefit.
Only the top 40% of households - by earnings - are Net Contributors. The other 60% get more out of the state than they put in.

it's rare for 18 year old's to be living entirely independantly of parents. When you become a parent you responsibility doesn't stop at 18.

if you genuinely cannot help your daughter financially there's lots of other things you can do to support her adn help her prepare for financial independance.

PersianCatLady · 19/08/2016 14:02

I have not read the whole thread but when is your DD planning to start uni?

If it is this September I honestly cannot believe that she hasn't got a clue about her finances at all and this would really make me worry that she is not very prepared for it.

QueenJuggler · 19/08/2016 14:05

How does the quality of teaching/graduate outcomes for her chosen course/uni compare to the closer to home option? If it's significantly better, I wouldn't push her to change.

shovetheholly · 19/08/2016 14:09

Ahhh, I'm sorry, I just realised the issue So it's not that you are concerned about your DD's debt in general. It's that you and your partner can't afford the parental contribution to her student loan, so she might not be able to go because of your financial situation (i.e. the fact that you've chosen to live in an expensive house). I do think your initial post rather misrepresented the situation.

Those two things are totally different. I do think that you have a responsibility to do as much as you can to help her out in that case.

OK, here's what I would do:

  1. Budget so you know what your DD needs.
  2. Make sure she knows she needs to get a job.
  3. In terms of making up your contribution, have a good look through every single bill in the household. Can you get gas/electricity cheaper? Can you get a cheaper TV/phone/internet package (no-one needs sky)? Can you rearrange insurance on car/house? Can you switch to a lower interest rate mortgage deal? Can you get cheaper deals on mobiles? A cheaper car? Shop at Aldi instead of Tesco? Cook at home more? Waste less food? Go on holiday a bit less? Cancel the cleaner and get the kids to help out more?

Literally, do the maths on every single bit of cash you have going out, for the last year and work out how you can pare it back. Unless you are immensely frugal already, there may be hundreds that is just getting binned each year. Anything you can save can go towards topping up what your DD needs from your contribution.

toldmywrath · 19/08/2016 14:10

plutoI think you'll find that student grants have been discontinued- it is all now loan based. No grants for hard up families any more. It's a disgrace the amount of loan (or clever tax as you like to call it)students have to take out these days.

Viviennemary · 19/08/2016 14:19

I think parents should make an effort to support their children when they go to Uni even if it's only for a modest amount. But if you can't then you can't. But don't put her off going because of money. She can get a job at weekends or evenings or in the holidays.

shovetheholly · 19/08/2016 14:24

vivien - it's not about extra support, though, it's about paying the parental contribution to the student loan.

Unless I've got the wrong end of the stick? (Wouldn't be the first time).

doctoratsea · 19/08/2016 14:30

The "new" maintenance loan is also total household income dependent.

greenfolder · 19/08/2016 14:30

My dd has just finished Uni in London.She took the full student loan and living loan. She will pay to back at 9% of salary about £21000 for 30 years. That is her choice. She got a job to pay for anything else and left with a modest overdraft. No need to panic or worry on her behalf. She had friends who had no parental support at all and they managed fine.

expatinscotland · 19/08/2016 14:35

'yet people with parents on benefits get the full loan.dosnt seem fair to me...especially as we don't claim anything so arnt costing the government anything.'

They get more loans, those kids, if they go to uni at all. They wind up with more debt, and you're grousing about unfairness? Hmm

You're costing the government loads! You have four kids. Schools, NHS, infrastructure and oh, Child Benefit for four kids.

What are you planning to do when the rest of them want to go to uni?

gillybeanz · 19/08/2016 14:36

I think it depends on how you look at it whether you see it as debt though.
I certainly see it as a huge debt and likewise can't afford to financially support mine.
Two were completely on their own once their tc and cb stopped, they had to fund themselves. Ds1 worked full time paid his own fees and has no debt after his degree. Ds2 didn't go to uni, but both were working ft at 16, they had to.
I won't be able to afford to sub dd in the future so working on a list of industry based funders to apply to nearer the time and of course there's go fund me, which I will link to her promotional and publicity material.
Sometimes you need to be proactive at gaining support from elsewhere so you can avoid the 60k debt.

shovetheholly · 19/08/2016 14:37

greenfolder - the issue is that the OP's daughter can't take out the full maintenance loan because the OP's household income is above £25k. However, because they have a huge mortgage, they cannot pay the amount that is required from them as the "parental" part of the contribution.

As several PPs have pointed out, in some parts of the country the maintenance loan doesn't even cover rent. I imagine this could potentially leave the young woman in question with a rather large amount that she has to pay each month just to survive, perhaps more than could be made up with a non-graduate part-time job?

doctoratsea · 19/08/2016 14:38

Repayment data from the moneysaving expert...

AIBU ,dd of to uni we are skint...AIBU to think the student lone will cover her for everything???
shovetheholly · 19/08/2016 14:39

I feel like I am invisible all of a sudden Grin

Scarftown · 19/08/2016 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

doctoratsea · 19/08/2016 14:42

Loan available (sliding scale) based on household income

AIBU ,dd of to uni we are skint...AIBU to think the student lone will cover her for everything???
PersianCatLady · 19/08/2016 14:48

'yet people with parents on benefits get the full loan.dosnt seem fair to me
There is also another side to it.

When I went to university as a single parent I took out a student loan and received a small grant and my weekly income was about the same as it would have been if I had claimed benefits for those three years.

The difference was is that I am still paying back the loans, whereas if I hadn't gone to university I would have received the same money "for free" if you like (awful choice of words but that is the best way I can describe it).

However I am glad that I did go because it has opened up so many more opportunities to me but I remember my parents being so worried at the time as they couldn't understand the logic behind taking out student loans when I could have received benefits instead.

user1471428758 · 19/08/2016 14:49

Honestly I think it's absolutely awful that you're hoping she changes her mind. As a parent your role is to encourage her to better herself and help her work out a way of making it doable, not to just sit back and say "I hope she doesn't do it". Your attitude is shocking. I hope she figures it out, goes to uni, does well, and gets a better idea of how life is supposed to work than you seem to have.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho · 19/08/2016 14:52

I'm interested in her travel plans. Have done the backpacker thing a fair bit myself. Has she actually saved a load and is going to travel for a year? Because that is a lot in one go. Or is she planning on working abroad for some of it? If she's not, that may be an idea - I've met plenty of young backpackers who work for 3-6 months in Oz (fruit picking and stuff, whilst living in dorms, think they call them "working hostels") and then spend the rest of the year backpacking in SE Asia (sorry, just have to say - Indonesia!) on the money they've made. I'm sure there are other places where this is possible. So then she'd still have her current savings for uni. I think the travel may be a make or break time - hopefully she is good at sticking to a budget or will quickly learn!

Also, you mention the possibility of her living at home and you paying for food. If she does live away, would you be able to save a small amount every week equivalent to what you'd spend on food if she was at home? So you have a secret "emergency fund" for her. (Although if in difficulty make sure she explore all other options first).

expatinscotland · 19/08/2016 14:53

Are you hoping the other 3 don't go, either?

shovetheholly · 19/08/2016 14:53

So a young adult gets paid £5.30 minimum wage. At, say, 14 hours a week, that's £74.20, so let's say £4,000 a year. Am I about right?

Imagine the parents have a household income of £60k, so the daughter gets a loan of £4k. So with that plus her earnings, she's getting £8000 a year. That might well be enough in some parts of the country, but in others (london?) it might not cover rent and food! So what does she do?

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