AIBU ,dd of to uni we are skint...AIBU to think the student lone will cover her for everything???

[Petal40]

Just that really...she's not saved.we are struggling .she chose to save to travel.not save for uni.she thinks it's all going to be ok because she will get a student lone....but will that lone cover everything?? And when she finishes she will be £60 grand approx in debt ...well our first house where she was born cost less than the debt she will be in after 3 years..I hope to god she changes her mind and decides not to go

If she doesn't get the maximum loan you need to give her the difference as the reason she doesn't is based in your income.
If she has the maximum loan it should be plenty providing you support her at home in the holidays.

rubie you have to make up the difference yes, if you can afford it, that's the point petal is making, they are financially strapped, no great shame in that though. could dd wait a year if need be so she gets herself sorted out ?

Let me start by saying I am implacably opposed to student debt. My political/moral position is that HE should be paid for via income tax.

However, leaving that aside, it's probably not good to think of the debt as 'personal debt' but more like a graduate tax. Your DD will be paying the student and tuition fee loans slowly, over time, as she earns. It's not like meeting loan payments that must be met come hell of high water, whether you are earning or not, e.g. a mortgage.

Secondly, the value of money has changed dramatically. You may have bought your house for £60k, but you also say that was before she was born - so over 18 years ago!! Back in the days when Mars Bars cost about 20p!! And how much is it worth now/how much is a Mars Bar now? Do bear that in mind.

Thirdly, the difference between a graduate and non-graduate salary is growing. Over a lifetime, it's now averaging £500,000. Puts the £60k into some perspective, doesn't it? (Yes, yes, I know that there are loads of people who have graduated and aren't earning much, and loads of people who never got a degree who are doing really well, but this is an average, right?)

Fourthly, she can and will need to get a job to get herself through. You shouldn't remortgage your own house to help her - don't even think about it, because that's your financial security gone. Lots of students have to do this, and it doesn't necessarily impact negatively on their grades unless they have a very hours-intensive course. Even a bar job, if stuck at, looks impressive on a CV. Shows the student has some grit and some sense of the value of cash.

Fifthly, as others have said, you urgently need to do some research because there are vast differences between, say, the cost of studying in London and the cost of studying in Leicester. There are also vast differences between the salaries of some graduate jobs compared to others. Whether the risk is worth it really depends on what she is doing and where.

Sixth, do a budget! Work out what she needs for rent, food, course books, etc and how much she needs to earn to make up the shortfall.

My parents didn't help me OP. I was fine. I do have student debt but hey! I had a fabulous time and got a good job in the end.

She can get a job! Uni courses are very part time.

meant to ask have you discussed the family financial situation with dd, that you won't be able to help bar her being home for holidays ?

Chill the floop out!!

I graduated 3 years ago, here's how the loan works:

If you and your partner aren't big earners, she'll get a grant to help cover costs as well as the standard loan. This is means tested so you declare your household income. I didn't qualify for that but had no financial help from my parents, so I worked throughout my studies as my loan just about covered my rent minus about £200 a term. You usually pay your rent by term just after the loan comes in. I did a fairly intense course but my lectures were always finished by 6pm, so I had a bar job in the evenings and was also a warden in my Uni halls which paid about £200 a month, enough to feed me! Uni's are extremely accustomed to skint students running low on cash, so they all have hardship funds and if you really do completely run out of money and overdrafts, they do give hand outs for food so she won't starve!

I am proud to say that i never once went into my overdraft as a student, had no financial help from my parents and didn't starve to death I went to uni in north Wales though, very aware that living costs down south are much more expensive.

The loan doesnt start to be paid back until she's earning £21k a year.. I pay mine back, it's £15 a month. We refer to it in this house as "clever tax" .. seriously, it's not a big deal and you really don't miss it, it comes straight out of your wage before it hits your bank account just like a tax does :)

Uni taught me how to be a grownup, how to live alone and how to budget. It was a massively formative time for me and when I look back on the times I had to eat rice and beetroot for dinner because it was the night before payday, I actually look back pretty fondly!

Please don't wish your girl doesnt go to Uni, she'll miss out on so much. It's not the right decision for every child, far from it but it's not up to you to make that decision. If your girl has the motivation to stick at it for 3 years and the intelligence to do well, nothing else matters, she'll work it out :)

Most courses only actually have 15 hours of lecture time, except full time lectures like medicine/dentistry etc. I loved with 3 students who only had 3 hours per week lectures. You can fit it a lot of work hours around that. And then do coursework/reading in hrs not working, but you can manage shift work in tesco etc.

If she doesn't get a job after uni, she doesn't pay her loan back, it's simple and graduated payments. Earn more, pay more. Lots of people manage it with no parental support, it is doable and she's chosen a year of travelling, let her choose to do uni or not her way, she'll know you can't afford to pay.

Loans rarely cover the rent, let alone the actual cost of living (or living comfortably, depending on how much you get), but it can be done! She needs to get herself a good student account, but not with a huge overdraft (as it is so tempting to spend it all thinking it's your money) which can tide her over for a little while. As she now knows which uni she is going to, she needs to apply for all the jobs going ASAP as they fill up fast. The university SU may have jobs, but she will also need to look at other places too. Basically keep on applying until you get something.

My degree was heavily lab based but I didn't have enough money to live without getting a job, and many of my friends were in the same boat. It was hard work, but we wanted to be at university so we had to make it work ourselves. I was lucky to just take out the minimal overdraft as I had savings for university, however some people I know took out the largest overdrafts they could, and subsequently left university with up to a £5k overdraft to pay back since they didn't think about paying it back!

Do not discourage your child from university. She has obviously looked into it and decides she wants to do it.

It is normal to accrue debt to pay for university.

It is normal to get a job whilst studying to top up your income.

She will realise that after a few weeks.

Relax, it's her life

If she's off travelling for a year how has she saved for this? Not being GF but is expensive I know so must be good with money to afford it or planning to work while doing so dependent on where she's going? So hope that she'll continue with this once at uni and she won't expect you to pick up tab?

If you can't afford to support her, you can't afford it. She will have to work too. She has made the decision to go travelling and go next year. These are adult decisions and responsibilites and she has to face the consquences of these without being bailed out by her parents.

What degree is she doing and is it one that is likely to lead to a better job? Not going to university isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you shouldn't discorage it on costs grounds alone.

Many people that do apprenticeships will be in decent jobs, earning decent money, have several years experience with no student debt, by the time their peers that attended university graduate with tens of thousands of debt and no relevant work experience.

She will have to get a job, like I did. I worked 3 jobs whilst studying, it won't kill her.

When does she get back from travelling OP? Will it give her enough time to apply for her loan, set up a student bank account, and maybe earn some money before she goes? Even a month or two of working and saving before she goes could make a big difference. Can she touch type? If so, she could pick up temp work easily (and it pays well - when I was a student back in the mid-90s I was making £12-an-hour temping).

I would give her a nudge to figure out a budget, if I was you. She's clearly not thought it through at this point and is just hoping for the best, but I'd probably send her an email telling her all the stuff she needs to figure out and maybe copy and paste the Martin Lewis moneysavingexpert link into the email. Yes, she's 18 and an adult, but I was flipping clueless at that age and I suspect she is too.

I don't agree with some of the other posters berating you for discouraging her in going to university. Not all degrees are worthwhile and if she's doing something that won't lead directly to a career and/or going to a less than top tier university she might well be better off just starting work and earning money rather than running up debt.

If she's choosing to take a gap year first, why on earth are you losing sleep over it - clearly she's NOT stressing!

All you need to do is make it clear to her that you are unable to help her financially & that she needs to look at how she's gong to fund it.

You need to work out how much she'll get versus what she'll need BEFORE she goes travelling .

A gap year is a real luxury- if she isn't going to be able to afford her degree after it then she should be curtailing her year out in order to work and build up a cushion.

Oh also on the "I dont want her to get a useless degree" thing:

You'll find a lot of graduate or "career" jobs now ask for a degree... not in a particular subject, just "any degree above a 2:1". The reason is that the process of getting a 2:1 requires you to demonstrate a butt ton of life skills that are applicable to tons of industries.

I graduated 3 years ago and went into an entry level role on about £16k, a job i couldnt have gotten without my degree btw. I now earn roughly double that and am the manager of a team of 8 people, and do the hiring and firing for that team. We do not consider candidates who don't have a degree or have a degree below a 2:1 classification. That's because we work in a niche industry that requires learning on the job, and we need you to demonstrate you're capable of independent study, budgeting, organisation etc, all things you need to have to get a degree! So this "I dont want her to get a random degree she can never use" idea isn't how the jobs market works! ANY degree will open doors.

6 months travelling without getting into debt, followed by 6 months working to save for the first few months of uni and build up a cushion against not getting a job immediately?

uni isn't the only option. has she looked at a Modern Apprenticeship?
If she's set on uni, she will have to get a part time job. DD2 has worked in a cheesecake shop, a coffee house, a jewellers (seasonal staff) and now a deli to pay her way. We can't really help other than with the occasional Aldi shop or the odd tenner here and there, so she has to make it work.

I've not said out loud to anyone that I'm wishing she wouldn't go.....it's just how I'm feeling.not what I'm saying...that's why I use mumsnet...can say on here what I can't elswhere😎....she's incredibly headstrong and would make her own decisions ...as I have encouraged her to....I think she is going to need to defer an extra yr to save up...thanks again for all the replys

Whether or not she can live on her loan depends on how sensible she is, how much she is getting and if she is living at home or not.

I had to live away from home, got a loan and I had to supplement with money from a part time job and full time in the holidays. I was skint. It was shit. My parents couldn't really help and it was hard but it was worth it.

I did a more 'useful' degree, so found a job easily when I graduated and in the 8 years since graduating my salary has doubled to high 30s, mid 49s when I include bonuses so the loan was worth it.

If she is doing what is nastily referred to as a Mikey mouse course I think uni is absolutely pointless. If she is doing something like law accounting engineering language pharmacist optician etc - something that has a defined career path she will be fine. Of all my uni friends the ones who are on low salaries in jobs not related to their degrees are people who did degrees like business studies, media studies, etc

My son isn't entitled to a full maintenance loan but thankfully his halls are relatively cheap compared to others (what he pays for an en suite room is equal to the cost of a room with a shared bathroom at other universities we viewed) so his loan covers that and leaves him with an amount left over. However, what's left isn't enough to live on so he works around 16 hours each week.
He doesn't have a credit card or an overdraft, and having little extra has taught him how to appreciate money and to look for bargains.

His university is actually close to home but he chose to live in to get the full experience which I was a bit dubious about because he could've saved himself a lot of money by staying at home and commuting (£2.60 bus fare two or three times a week). BUT it's done him the world of good, he's grown up a lot in his first year and has bags more self confidence and I think that in itself makes it worth it. Also, being close to home has meant that he's been able to keep working his part time job, which has been full time while he's been home from university.

Here you go OP: www.moneysavingexpert.com/students/student-loans-tuition-fees-changes

What degree does she want to do?

What do you think she's going to be able to do if she doesn't go?

I think you have to let them decide for themselves.
Help her understand the system and support her in whichever decision she makes.
At this age they are capable of sorting it out for themselves but more importantly, know what they want.

In the case of them not knowing yet, then maybe uni isn't always the answer.
We seem to have become a society driven by attending Uni, more people than ever see this as the Holy Grail whereas plenty of people are successful and hve good careers without a Degree.

She needs to write out a budget and see if it fits her loan (and bursary if she'll get one).

If it doesn't work out and she cant find a job smartish (have to get in quick as they go fast at start of term), then she'll have to defer for a year.

Our two daughters couldn't live on their loans, even sharing a one bed flat in one of the most expensive cities in the country. I wont say the exact figure we give monthly to support them, but it's in the many hundreds of pounds.