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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU ,dd of to uni we are skint...AIBU to think the student lone will cover her for everything???

259 replies

Petal40 · 19/08/2016 11:34

Just that really...she's not saved.we are struggling .she chose to save to travel.not save for uni.she thinks it's all going to be ok because she will get a student lone....but will that lone cover everything?? And when she finishes she will be £60 grand approx in debt ...well our first house where she was born cost less than the debt she will be in after 3 years..I hope to god she changes her mind and decides not to go

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 19/08/2016 11:50

You don't need to state the uni or course- how much is the loan and how much is accommodation / tuition fees etc?

MatildaTheCat · 19/08/2016 11:50

Some courses have very few contact hours per week which allows the student to party and sleep work quite a lot of hours quite easily. Other courses have many more hours and working is difficult. My DN was working in a bar to subside her architecture course and ended up quitting the course because she was too far behind.

I'm not going to depress you by telling you how much we subbed our two ds but where you go and what course you do are key to this.

juneau · 19/08/2016 11:50

It sounds like you both need to do some research - urgently! Presumably you know how much her course is going to cost. How much loan will she get? How much will her rent be? Is she in uni halls or something the first year? If so, contact them and find out the cost and whether there are any additional bills.

Then work out if she needs money for public transport. She'll need a mobile phone. A laptop. Books. Food. Extra for going out, train tickets home/to see boyfriend/buy birthday presents, etc.

I'm sure there is an online student budgeting resource somewhere - try the NUS website as a starting point - but FGS figure it out before she trots off to uni with just her loan in her pocket. She will probably need to get a job and student-friendly jobs will go fast so she'll need to get on that - preferably before the start of term.

StubbleTurnips · 19/08/2016 11:51

have you asked her how she's planning to fund it? Has she looked into bursaries (there are some out there)? There's also the university hardship fund if she's really struggling.

I was told if I went to Uni then I needed to self fund. I did. I left with a lot of debt (20k) but it's nearly all cleared (10years on). I'm talking not only loans, multiple credit card and student overdrafts but jobs through uni. I survived.

PaperdollCartoon · 19/08/2016 11:51

Mrs Fuzzy Most people don't go to uni but very large amounts do these days. Around 40% of the population of all ages have a degree and this number is growing, it will be over 50% soon enough. But no a degree doesn't guarantee a better job in many cases

mrsfuzzy · 19/08/2016 11:52

petal i think that some people are being a bit hard on you because you said you hope she changes her mind, but they don't realise if she hasn't done her 'homework' with research of the costings, need to save, get a job and the fact that you might not be in a position to financially help her as you are struggling yourself, where is the parental contribution supposed to come from if you don't have it ? some people seem to think dc have to go to uni but it isn't always possible for so many reasons.

mrsfuzzy · 19/08/2016 11:54

paper you are correct, but then there are many uni courses that aren't worth the paper they are printed on either.

DragonsEggsAreAllMine · 19/08/2016 11:55

You both sound like you have your heads in the sand. Have neither of you sat down and looked at the costs? Surely that's a very basic.

It's quite sad how some people see student debt as nothing, many not even attempting to pay it back. Little wonder we don't have free or very reasonable education costs any more for higher students.

brasty · 19/08/2016 11:56

When I went in 1988 when most people managed just on the grant and lots didnt work, in todays money we got £5772. But the student lifestyle then was to eat and drink cheaply.

Original poster
Petal40 · 19/08/2016 11:56

User1471... So many people come out of uni in debt with a degree ,but can't get a job...I know from personal experience how hard it is to get a job with a degree,I don't want to see her do a mediocre degree that dosnt qualify her for anything.then not get a job.and be in debt...obviously if the degree was vet,teacher,doctor dentist ect ect ,I'd think differently.

OP posts:
FairyDogMother11 · 19/08/2016 11:57

Is there a possibility of taking the option of deferring for a year whilst she gets a job and saves really really hard? Because it sounds as if you might need more time to look into it.

Trifleorbust · 19/08/2016 11:57

What's the degree?

smallfox2002 · 19/08/2016 11:58

Any Uni course is what you make it, the "its not worth the paper its written on" folk live in the past.

There are lots of jobs these days where the entry requirement is a degree, it doesn't have to be a degree in a specific subject but a degree. To the extent where some one I know has a degree in theatre design, but got on the Morrison's graduate scheme and now has a senior job at head office. They wouldn't have got on without a degree.

badg3r · 19/08/2016 11:58

The loan will probably not cover much more than accommodation (if that) but student life can be very cheap as it sounds like she will have to learn. If between you all you really can't afford it there are likely to be hardship funds available through the Uni. But she will really have to have nothing left, and no reasonable chance of support from you (they wouldn't expect you to have to sell the house!). Has she got an overdraft? My student overdraft was up to £3k and interest free till a year after I graduated. Definitely worth checking out. I lived in my overdraft at uni and paid it back over the summer holidays working several jobs. She will definitely have to get a job at Uni too.
Bear in mind also what you can do to help re e.g. birthday and Christmas presents. I had enough to muddle through day to day but nothing for e.g. waterproof shoes in winter, fixing my bike (that I used to commute to uni) when it broke, a decent umbrella, haircuts, etc. If it is money that you would be spending on her anyway, good to make sure it is on something useful!

trafalgargal · 19/08/2016 11:58

Most universties she'd be able to fit 30-40 hours in around lectures as contact time is lower than most parents realize. I work with several people studying at degree level and working (including nursing degrees so time on wards as well) Apart from a few lab heavy degrees it's very typical.

The alternative would be for her to defer for a year and work and save.
This really should have been discussed before she went travelling though so she could decide if she wanted to spend on travelling or save the money for uni.

She should check with the uni if they offer any bursaries or other assistance , most unis offer first pick of part time jobs on campus to their students too.

Rubies12345 · 19/08/2016 11:59

Is she getting the full loan? If she is you're not expected to contribute.

If she gets a smaller loan because you earn too much, you have to make up the difference

throwingpebbles · 19/08/2016 11:59

What's the degree? There is no point going to do "any old degree" any more...you need to know that it is likely to be worth incurring the debt for

I took a gap year to help save to cover costs and then worked in all the uni holidays.

Original poster
Petal40 · 19/08/2016 12:00

Gosh so many replys.thankyou so much for taking the time to answer...really appreciate every reply....she's travelling for a year .but has just accepted a place for next yr...so we haven't got to the loan bit yet....I just wanted a general idea from all you guys first.thankyou so much X

OP posts:
BetweenTwoLungs · 19/08/2016 12:00

It's also worth noting that you don't get your loan until about a week after you've actually enrolled. So she won't have it before she goes to buy things, won't have it for freshers week.

beginnersewer · 19/08/2016 12:00

As well as checking how much she'll get, I would check when the loan arrives - I believe the money doesn't come into their account right at the beginning of term although I am not 100% sure about this.
Many universities have hardship funds for students who are struggling financially but I suspect this is likely to be trickier to access for somebody who is not there yet than for somebody who has proved they are dedicated to the course.
I also think deferring might be a sensible suggestion in this situation.

Mosseywossey · 19/08/2016 12:01

Right I'm a uni student atm. It a great opportunity. If she get the maximum loan she will get 7000 a year. Depending on where she is going depends how much uni accommodation will be. But usually in the area of 3-5 grand. I would recommend her get a student bank account as she will get a free overdraft which she won't have to pay interest on. I know that sound horrible but it's how a lot of uni students live. She will need to sit down and work out how much she has weekly and budget. It is do able but she has to be sensible and may have to get a part time job. But your daughter is being silly if she hasn't save a little for uni as she won't get her loan till the actually start of the her cause she will have nothing for freshers. So I would really recommend the student bank account with a large student loan!!!

ApocalypseSlough · 19/08/2016 12:01

Please please don't discourage her. The tuition fees debt is immaterial- it doesn't affect anything else and she can cover her living expenses by working.
It's heartbreaking to think that you're discouraging her from taking a life hanging opportunity.

blindsider · 19/08/2016 12:02

Did your DD discuss how much help you would be able to give her before applying to this course etc. ?

Selling your house to support your daughters Uni fees is bonkers. If you can help great, if not she needs to either get a job, find a cheaper course or work for a bit first. You are NOT responsible for her Uni dream.

EllenJanethickerknickers · 19/08/2016 12:02

My DS1 will get the maximum maintenance loan of about £8000 a year. His accommodation costs are about £4,500. He will have to live on the other £3,500 or get a job. It's as simple as that. I cannot help him apart from providing him with a bed in the holidays.

He doesn't have to pay anything back unless he earns over £21k a year. And then it's a proportion of his earnings.

He and I are both completely comfortable with this.

Trifleorbust · 19/08/2016 12:02

Rubies: She doesn't have to make up any difference. The poster was clear that this isn't affordable for her, so the question is whether her daughter will manage without support.