She's a GIRL

[Cashewnutts]

I'm fed up with my 4month old being labelled as a boy. Near enough every time I'm out with her, someone will remain to her as a he: how old is he? Isn't he cute! Oh look at him etc.

AIBU to be increasingly rude to these people when correcting them? Of course it's always random strangers and never the same ones, I'm just hugely fed up with correcting people, especially when she is clearly wearing girls clothes. (Or at the very least, something that identifies her as a girl such as a girls sun hat or cardigan)

Just to illustrate, here are some of the outfits she's been wearing when people have assumed she's a boy. We also have a Cosatto pram with blue and orange pattern but IMO it's very non gender specific.

Navy it's nothing at all to do with her wearing blue. She's not had a dot of blue on her and she's still been mistaken for a boy. My issue is with the general assumption of gender (blue or no blue) rather than questioning boy or girl.
Again, I included those pictures to illustrate what she has been wearing when called a boy. Again, the fact that they have blue on them is a random coincidence.

I think very few babies are obviously male or female. Their faces are usually androgenous. If it's a stranger or casual friend does it matter? If someone you see regularly you correct them. My son had long eyelashes and was often called a girl. I could see why people might think that as he was often in white or yellow. It didn't bother me. Now he's 19 he's obviously male.

This sort of thing happens a lot, OP. People call my DS1 (2 1/2 years old) a girl from time to time even though he's usually dressed in boyish colours. He has a pretty rather than handsome face and ringlets. It does no harm. Very young children just tend to be more androgynous than pubescent/post pubescent children/adults. Hell, in my late teens my buzz cut and unisex/male clothes occasionally overrode my E-cups and high voice and got me referred to as he. Who cares?

DD used to get this all the time as she had hardly any hair (still doesn't at 2.8) and it was annoying, but looking back at photos now she really did look like a boy to be fair!

Navy yes you're probably right she probably just says she automatically, she was very friendly just random

Just smile doesn't matter.My daughter curly long hair was thought of as a boy despite wearing pink.

I wouldn't worry or take it to heart or anything. My baby dd was wearing pink and was still called a boy by someone! I think people just say either boy or girl without thinking or taking pause to think which gender they actually are!

I think it's just the blue clothes many people still assume little boys wear bye and girls wear pink. They probably assume you're sending out that same message. Put her on something more girly if you're bothered or if not just ignore them.

Does it really matter?

How much does it really matter if a stranger asks what sex your 4 month old is?

I have a nearly 3 year old who's favourite colour is pink, and has a mop of blonde curls so people assume he's a girl quite often. I remember being mistaken for a boy quite a lot as a much older child, really - I can't think of any damage caused by it, if it's a stranger I might not even bother correcting them - what possible bad effect could their be?

The (immensely irritating) woman at our SureStart centre repeatedly used to refer to DD as a boy. You'd have thought someone coming into daily contact with slightly frazzled tearful new mothers AND androgynous-looking babies might have cottoned on to just saying "what a nice baby".

My favourite though was taking DD for a walk in the backpack when she was about 10 months old. We'd stopped for DD to eat rabbit poo on the grass a picnic, when a group of ramblers stopped to say what a handsome boy. When I said "thank you, she's a girl, actually", one of them rather crossly said "you've given her a boy's haircut, though".

Er, no, she's just a baldy baby. That's not a hairstyle, it's just her hair.

I had id twins both in pink dresses and was asked if it was a boy and a girl? Very tempted to say "actually they're both boys but I'm hoping they'll be gay". People are stupid.

Even dressed fully in bright pink people say "he" to babies. For some people it just seems to be standard to say he for young babies.

My dd was a little baldy and many times got called a boy. My favourite was "what's his name?" "Girl's name" "oh that's a funny name for a boy." I just gave them the look of death till they went "oh right"

That's so funny.

DS2 was 10lbs when he was born and looked like a huge, brawny manbaby. I still used to always get old folk cooing over "her" because he had a pretty face. I'd smile and nod and think "I can't wait to get old and go batshit and touch strange babies" and let it go. As insults go it's not terrible.

Why would it matter? If someone gets it wrong and you want to correct them, correct them. Otherwise I'd just answer their questions (assuming I was inclined to) and move on.

This thread illustrates that some parents will take offence at the tiniest thing.

Someone was being nice about someone else's baby. If no offence is intended then don't look for it.

My ds was always mistaken for a girl (and he always wore very boy-ish clothes) I remember someone saying "she's lovely", I replied "he's a he" to which she looked horrified and said "but he's far too pretty to be a boy!"

DD was always in a dress and always got mistaken for a boy. It really didn't bother me.

It can be hard to tell, although I would have thought the little frock a fairly big clue! I do think people can be insensitive though, I would normally hedge my bets by asking something leading like 'how old is your little one, or what's your little one called' and hopefully the answer gives the gender away! You can then continue the conversation without giving offence! When my dD was about 8 months, she was referred to by a woman at the village toddler group as a little chap. We had been going every week for about 6 months, and she was always in what I would consider to be comfy practical clothes, but definitely girls, and there was a singing circle every week where each child was named. I was very offended by that!!

I'd forgotten how testy sleepless young Mums can be.
I don't randomly comment on babies, but if I'm stuck in a queue or waiting room where a baby is present, I say something along the lines of "What a beautiful baby. Boy or girl?"
This thread has just made me realise how many irritated mothers I must have left strewn in my wake. I liked one poster's reference to a potato.
I might now take to saying "Boy, girl, or groceries?"

Oops sorry. Missed Navy's last post. As you were.

I wouldn't let it get to you ds1 was always mistaken for a girl until he was about three even when wearing blue and very obviously boys clothes because he had blond curly hair (surfer boy style)
Dd was often mistaken for a boy because I never dressed her in pink and she had very little hair. I just used to smile and nod I never bothered correcting them.

Blue outfit in a blue pram lots will assume
Boy. I had black or brown Prams and the default assumption for all mine was boy. Only 1!out if 3 is a boy lol.

Just let it go, unless you go buy a big pink pram and dress her entirely in pink frills you will get it.

Meh - I have 2 boys and they were both about 3 before strangers stopped thinking they were girls.

Didn't bother me.

Look on the bright side, if she consistently gets mistaken for a boy her whole life, she's likely to be paid more in her career and unlikely to be catcalled.

Every cloud.