To think that your life is not like a single parents

[Frankiebop]

Met up recently with a friend whose husband works away a few days a week, which I understand is not ideal, however I felt it was a bit off when she said 'I'm a single parent like you'.
Being a single parent is not about being responsible on your own for a few days with the kids but having someone to help out the rest of the time with parenting decisions, diy, finances, etc.
I work full time and I am solely responsible for all cooking, cleaning, washing, gardening, diy, childcare, finances, paying all bills and a mortgage, shopping.
I think I may be slightly oversensitive on this as I am particularly alone as DS's father is not in the picture (his choice, not mine) and I don't have any family that help me.
I love my life and child and I am so happy, but knackered and never have a moment to myself.
Just wanted to let off steam - rant over!

Pikahoo
When you're in a bad marriage where DH doesn't contribute emotionally, practically or financially you're in it alone. This big I work full time and I am solely responsible for all cooking, cleaning, washing, gardening, diy, childcare, finances, paying all bills and a mortgage, shopping.difference is, the husband is there in the house. Making things even more difficult than they would be without him.

Xpost!! Sometimes the husband won't/ can't leave.

:-( I'm sorry, that sounds awful. Why don't you leave?

Ooh, i kmow, we should grade the level of single parenting! Grade 10 is someone whose husband isn't around all that often, but provides financially and is on the other end of the phoneto privide emotional support, and grade 1 can be for someone who has no family support, faher of DC has fucked off and pays no money. Everyone else can be somewhere in the middle. Would that make eveyone feel better?!!

The reality is lots of us are somewhere in the middle, whether we have a partner or not.

I used to feel abit like a single parent at times when DH would spend months away and I was left with no support as all my family are on the other side of the world, and would say as much to my happily married friend who had a very supportive husband who shared school runs, would take time off work to give her a break etc. (Tbh she used to say it more about me than i did!)

I would NEVER have said that to my truly single friend whose arsehole ex used to do everything to avoid paying mantenance, refused to take their DS to parties on HIS weekends and made life as difficult as possble for her, even though she had loads of support from parents. Free weekends are in no way a benefit in those circumstances.

Its all about knowing your audience!!

Just to add a positive aspect to this thread .... I've been entirely alone in every single aspect with my DD since before she was born - went back to full time work when she was six weeks old. Yesterday she achieved great A level grades and will be off to York next month. I've put her through a lot so it's all down to her, but the fact that she's done so well with one parent does make me quietly proud. And I have had many, many times of wishing that I could have a single evening off etc. It really does get better - and now, after nearly 19 years of being just us, I know that I shall feel a bit lost!!

Apologies for the hijack.

Well done lobster, that's great news and really encouraging to hear. York is a fantastic university and I'm sure she'll love it.