Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think being tickled is like torture?

117 replies

YoJesse · 16/08/2016 15:44

I hate it, fucking hate it!!
Woken by 'd'bro hauling me off the sofa with his hands under my armpits tickling me. He knows I hate it and I screamed and told him to fuck the fuck off before it got to that point you can't breathe. When he stopped I was crying and found it really horrible but he thinks I'm being an 'unhinged headcase'. our mum's despaired of us both. probably because I'm 29 and he's 39 I don't think it's an unreasonable reaction if you can't help it.

OP posts:
TJEckleburg · 16/08/2016 17:38

I'm not saying your brother wants to rape you btw, just that rape culture is simply the extreme of a society where men believe that they own women's bodies, can say what they like about women in the street (whether that be "nice tits" or "smile love") and can do what they like to women.

NotYoda · 16/08/2016 17:41

TJ

great posts

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood · 16/08/2016 18:18

You were quite restrained actually... I'd have taken a baseball bat to my DB if he tried that shit knowing I hate it. (It may be an extreme reaction, but I despise tickling).

DD (3) and I occasionally tickle each other, but even she knows that when Mummy says that's enough, we stop.

Dbsparkles · 16/08/2016 18:56

What strange responses. Brother being an annoying brother, as they can be despite being grown adults. And he's been labelled a sex pest and a bully. And yes sisters can be equally annoying!

PurpleDaisies · 16/08/2016 18:59

What strange responses. Brother being an annoying brother, as they can be despite being grown adults. And he's been labelled a sex pest and a bully. And yes sisters can be equally annoying!

I don't agree that this is just a brother being an annoying brother-He's 39. Do you know any other grown ups who tickle each other? I think the allegations of him being a sex pest are ott but if she's told him how much she hates it and he continues to ignore her, he's a bully.

TendonQueen · 16/08/2016 19:05

Kick him in the bollocks, hard as you can, next time. He's been warned.

And who is he to decide you're 'lazy'? If your DS gets up early, I'd go in and wake up his uncle for some company and be ready to say 'can't believe you're not up, how lazy!'

jamdonut · 16/08/2016 19:08

I'm quite tickle-phobic. It actually scares me! I put it down to somebody tickling me till I couldn't breathe, when I was quite young. I can't remember who it was that did it, just the fear of not being able to catch my breath!
I can get quite violent if people take me by surprise!!!

Dowser · 16/08/2016 19:10

When my children were little I did a lot of RC counselling.
Tickling by adults on children was seen as really oppressive behaviour.

Nobody was allowed to tickle my children. Or come up to them and go ' rar!'

Horrible.
What's it teaching children.

If you had to put up with this by someone ten years older than you, I can understand your distress.

It's a wonder it didn't lead to you wetting yourself.

Dowser · 16/08/2016 19:12

Good post TJ.

I also didn't make my kids kiss relatives.
I hate that.

GahBuggerit · 16/08/2016 19:20

yanbu my dp does this and i fucking hate it but i just get called joyless, a misery etc, he also cant walk past me without touching me in some way so now i just move right away from him whenever hes coming past me.

tbh id find it easier if i could just twat him one, try that?

pigsDOfly · 16/08/2016 19:44

I suggest you take him by surprise when he's asleep and kick him very hard in the balls. When he get upset and complains of the pain and is finding it hard to catch his breath, that's the time to tell him he's being pathetic and a misery and further more he's spoiling your fun.

Can't somehow see him taking that with good grace either.

Blu · 16/08/2016 19:47

He is judgey and censorious that you catch up on sleep when your child sleeps.
He calls you lazy
He takes it upon himself to wake you up
He forcibly tickles you, knowing you hate it, until you cry
He then blames you and uses mental health insults?
Your mum despairs of both of you.

Your brother is a bully.

Original poster
YoJesse · 16/08/2016 20:01

It's crazy what you put up with from your family.

I never want ds to grow up not knowing boundaries or not respecting women as equal. As I've said in the past on Mn. I totally identity as a feminist, I'm just a short one who struggles to practice what I believe in.

When I was young I felt like he was a bully but as I've grown up I've accepted it's just twatty sibling behaviour. In a way I don't want to read to much into it as it changes the family dynamic. dowser I hate it when people tickle ds even though he doesn't seem to mind it.

OP posts:
Original poster
YoJesse · 16/08/2016 20:02

Whoops, I'm a shit feminist!!!!! (I'm also a short one Grin)

OP posts:
MistressoftheYoniverse · 16/08/2016 20:09

Ok...my DH hates being tickled...he will kick your arse...and get physical and angry sometimes...just cant take it...you know what... I think he just doesn't like it...he's a man so when my daughters tickle him are they oppressing him? or sexually bullying him?..I think they know it winds him up so they do it...Just saying

RoboticSealpup · 16/08/2016 20:40

Google 'oppression', Mistress. Also 'context'.

Atenco · 16/08/2016 20:48

"Why do people do it if no one actually like it"

Well actually my dd does like being tickled and even made friends with a boy in her first year at school because he did too. I used to get tired out tickling her and she would still ask for more.

However definitely not something to do to someone who hates it.

OurBlanche · 16/08/2016 21:03

YoJesse it is a control thing! And yes, it is a form of torture!

I have a super grumpy fuckwit uncle - short example story: He used to stay in bed on Christmas morning... not hung over, just 'on holiday, having a lie in' As a kid I hated having to wait for him to come down so we could start Christmas. One year, after Nana or Granddad had called up to him (maybe mid morning) he shouted down "Stop treating my like a child" to which I, at about 9 years old, shouted back "Stop acting like one, then" to which 5 adults cheered and then looked sheepish Smile

Anyway... when I was about 6 he married my mum's sister. On the morning of the wedding he was leaving from my grandparents house (Aunt was with her best friend round the corner) a couple of minutes walk from the church, about 30 minutes to go.

So he was all booted and suited and mum was getting me and DSis dressed. He caught me and started tickling me, I asked him to stop, screamed, cried and, after mum and Nana telling him to stop, I puked all over him and passed out Smile

I responded well to a cold sponge and promise of sweeties later. His suit was unsaveable and he had to wear one of my granddads... the wedding photo's look odd Grin

And yes, I still dislike him, intensely - 45 years later!

MistressoftheYoniverse · 16/08/2016 21:16

oppression - keep (someone) in subjection and hardship = Bully

Bully - a person who uses strength or influence to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.

Context - the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea, and in terms of which it can be fully understood.

Just saying my girls use subjection - they are children so an adult by law is in subjection to them and used influence to irritate my DH ..totally in context Grin

Longdistance · 16/08/2016 21:21

Yanbu.

My Dh is a burly rugby player and he hates being tickled and would punch anyone that did. I have never tickled him.

Your db sounds like a dick.

OurBlanche · 16/08/2016 21:21

I suspect you got the response you did, Mistress, because you ended with Just saying

That reads very dismissive, superior and generally snarky. Makes the person typing/saying it sound like a snob/self important twat. Someone who is too afraid of the reaction they might get if they were honestly and openly rude and so uses a snide phrase that we all know is a verbal sprinkling of salt!

Just saying...

OurBlanche · 16/08/2016 21:22

Sorry... forgot to add Grin

See now we all know I wasn't being rude, it was a joke!

JinkxMonsoon · 16/08/2016 21:28

I remember being tickled like that by my dad. It was fucking horrible, not being able to breathe like that.

So yes, it's torture. And yes, your brother is a bully.

MistressoftheYoniverse · 16/08/2016 21:30

Yes I understand, you were having your say and it might be a joke or not you could be a complete arse..because I'm an adult who doesn't expect everyone else to agree with me...see what I did there?...didn't give an arse..Wink...I can 'Just say' and people can think what they please...

MistressoftheYoniverse · 16/08/2016 21:32

Your brother is an arse...you need to tell him...Hey arse..don't tickle me I don't like it...