To think being tickled is like torture?

[YoJesse]

I hate it, fucking hate it!!
Woken by 'd'bro hauling me off the sofa with his hands under my armpits tickling me. He knows I hate it and I screamed and told him to fuck the fuck off before it got to that point you can't breathe. When he stopped I was crying and found it really horrible but he thinks I'm being an 'unhinged headcase'. our mum's despaired of us both. probably because I'm 29 and he's 39 I don't think it's an unreasonable reaction if you can't help it.

yojesse have you told him not to do it again?

Sorry livia his words not mine. Hope it gets amended

I've told him not to do it again.

How did he take it? Do you think he understood you were serious?

He used to be quite Bullying when I was little but he was going through some teenage stuff at the time and would always apologies loads when I'd start crying. He's nothing like that anymore.

He seems exactly like that!

Yeah agree, he sounds like a nasty bully to me.

If he did this to a stranger in the street it would be assault. And tbh it sounds like an assault on you from the way you describe it.

Such a dickish annoying brother thing to do. Mine would do it to me as a child and I viscerally hated it. It wasn't a moment or two of poke poke giggle giggle, they seem to do it until you have no control at all and feels like an act of aggression (I can't find the right words here but it's definitely not fun). My brother used to huff and puff about me being a spoilsport for not loving it when I was a kid too.

I imagine no matter how firmly and seriously you tell him to fuck the fuck right off with his 'tickling' he'll just say more nasty stuff about your mental health and/or carrying on at his whim.

I'm asserting myself a lot more than I used to so I hope the message has gone in loud and clear. No more
It definitely not sexual or weird,. Just immature.

Luckily, I'm not ticklish at all so I don't know what affect it would have on me but you need to stand up for yourself and tell your brother to do one, after all, you are not 6 anymore. If he takes offence after you have smacked him and moans to your Mum just say "he started it".

Sexual? It's tickling!

Yanbu though. I have an irrational fear of my armpits being touched because of too much tickling when I was younger.

YANBU

My SIL does this with our kids. I just tell her to stop immediately as it is deeply unpleasant. I don't think they mind it as much as I do, I have a complete sensory aversion to it but they do not like it.

Weird. I hate anyone getting near my armpits. It feels like they are trying to grab my breasts.

Does anyone actually like being tickled?

I can't believe your mother "despaired of" both of you.

I'm amazed she hasn't told your brother that it is really inappropriate behaviour for a 39yo man.

Is there some kind of golden child/scapegoat thing happening here?

This is a really odd thing for an adult to be doing to his sister. Your brother has serious issues with boundaries. I would avoid contact with him, if at all possible.

"He used to be quite Bullying"

Used to be??!!

Why do people do it if no one actually like it. I hate people tickling my ds but I think people think you're precious if you object to a young kid being tickled.

He knows you don't like it but still did it, insulted you for the way you reacted to something that he knows you don't like -and bloody well woke you up to do it!

No scapegoating. My mum's really fair and all round nice person but I don't think she sees it any different from 20yrs ago.

Does anyone actually like being tickled?
My DS loves it, and asks to be tickled. I also stop if he asks though - so he has great fun making me start and stop. DD hates it so we don't tickle her at all.

Sexual? It's tickling!

It's touching without consent. It doesn't have to be motivated sexually to be a serious boundary violation.

Does anyone actually like being tickled?

No idea, but I am sure I would not like being tickled without my consent. The decent thing to do is ask someone before trying to tickle them.

You've told him no, so now you plan vicious pain for if he does it again. Which parts of him were vulnerable? Seriously you have to hurt him enough that you are not worth the trouble of bullying. I am not joking. At all. Re-run it in your mind, find his weak spots, remember them then get those finger nails and that vice like grip going. Knees and elbows are good too. "I thought you wanted to wrestle, bro?"

You've said no. So next time it is definitely an attack. Make his "fun" not worth it.

Eurgh. Horrible. You don't grab hold of someone like that. He assaulted you IMO.

Cannot stand it either, makes me feel trapped and angry and tearful. Horrible. Oddly though one of my children loves being tickled, but is also asthmatic and so I won't do it as it leaves him so breathless!

I agree but it's a big leap to go from that to saying her brother is sexually assulting her! He might be a bit a knob but not a pervert from the sounds of it.