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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have told this kid to go back to his parents?

109 replies

PeachesAndDerek · 15/08/2016 18:26

Met up with DH for lunch today. Idea was we'd have a nice hour to ourselves to sit and enjoy a coffee and a bite to eat. As we arrived so did another family, two adults, a boy around 5ish and a baby. So DH and I start chatting, lovely conversation until this boy comes across and shows us his new toy. "That's nice!" I say with a smile and then turn back to DH to carry on our conversation. The boy then starts trying to climb up on one of the chairs at our table, all the while knocking the table all over and splashing our drinks around. I looked across at his parents and the gormless woman smiled and said to her husband "aww look at him with that couple!". Now by this point I'm getting irritated, DH is losing interest in our conversation and has started playing in his phone as I have become preoccupied with trying to stop this kid from falling off the chair whilst trying to save what's left of our drinks. In the end I say to him "don't climb on there, that's your table over there" and point to his parents. He ignores me and starts playing with his car on the table. I look across at his parents, both having a nice conversation just like the one DH and I WERE having so out of pure frustration I picked the kid up, took him to his parents and said "sorry I'm just worried he's going to fall off the chair of spill coffee on himself" and leave him. The kid starts screaming, the parents get all flustered and DH decides to call it a day and go back to work!!! Be honest wibu here?? I'm still irritated by the whole thing now

OP posts:
MeAndMy3LovelyBoys · 15/08/2016 20:11

YANBU. I am usually tolerant of children coming over to me, but what happened in your situation is extreme and I would have been annoyed as well. There is a limit. The parents would have annoyed me even more though.

EweAreHere · 15/08/2016 20:20

You were nicer than me. I would have said, loudly, "I think this is yours!" when I returned him, making it clear they should have been taking responsibility for him

I hate selfish parents like that. And they are selfish.

Your DH could have shown a bit more tolerance or helped return the child/said something to the parents earlier to nip the situation. I'm always amazed at how many men 'disappear' during events like this, leaving the women to sort it out or fume.

purplefox · 15/08/2016 20:21

YANBU with the child but your DH sounds like a dick. Do you have kids?

EverySongbirdSays · 15/08/2016 20:23

YANBU

They were probably enjoying some peace at your expense by allowing him to pester you.

Your DH sounds like a knob though

Batteriesallgone · 15/08/2016 20:27

It's nearly the end of the school holidays, it is prime children-being-fucking-annoying time. I tend to hide under a rock for most of August!

MiaowTheCat · 15/08/2016 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HSMMaCM · 15/08/2016 20:37

Some parents actively TEACH their children that other adults would love to talk to them about random nothingness and then think they're really cute when they do it.

Your DH didn't help though

Memoires · 15/08/2016 20:37

When it happens to me, I tend to cut it short by saying something like "yes, that's nice. Now go back to mummy."

OpenMe · 15/08/2016 20:39

I make it about halfway miaow!!

Batteriesallgone · 15/08/2016 20:41

Yeah sorry nearly the end was wrong.

But I do think it may be the beginning of the end. Hold on and have Wine Cake

Marymoosmum14 · 15/08/2016 20:53

What are these parents thinking?? I would be mortified if my DD did that, I would go over grab her and say sorry not just leave some stranger to look after her. Mo offense but you could have been anyone, I mean if you could pick the kid up what was stopping you from walking off with him?

bumsexatthebingo · 15/08/2016 20:54

Ywbu to pick him up and physically move him and it sounds like you might have scared him. Surely all that would have been necessary is a concerned word with the parents asking them to take him back to their table as he was spilling the coffee and you didn't want him to get burned. Don't think any parents could argue with that.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/08/2016 20:54

Presumably a 'death stare' is similar to my 'scary horror film eyes' . Dds used to say, 'Do your scary eyes, Mum!' - and then squeal and hide behind sofa cushions when I obliged.
I've only used it once while out - ghastly whining kid in the supermarket queue - but it worked a treat.

Marymoosmum14 · 15/08/2016 20:56

*No offense not Mo offense. woops!

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 15/08/2016 20:56

Yanbu

Heidi42 · 15/08/2016 20:58

YADNBU I'm irritated just reading your post

bibbitybobbityyhat · 15/08/2016 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sonjadog · 15/08/2016 21:01

I don´t know why you waited so long to return him. I´d have asked his parents to remove him if he´d lingered after the initial greeting.

Batteriesallgone · 15/08/2016 21:08

For me, I would describe a truly effective death stare as... empty.

The child is tiny. Minuscule. Barely even exists. No matter what they do they will not get the reward of feedback, merely the empty stare that says you are nothing to me, as far as I am concerned you are dead. There is no excitement here, neither indulging conversation nor ridiculous bluster. I have seen all your tricks before and I see through them all. You are nothing.

That kind of thing. Kids love attention. A good death stare is basically the promise of total absence of attention. Tricky to achieve while staring straight at them Grin but can be done.

PirateFairy45 · 15/08/2016 21:13

No you're not being unreasonable at all.

The parents were not being parents and they were expecting a total stranger to ensure their child was safe.

wtfdidijustwatch · 15/08/2016 21:13

The problem is that some parents think they are doing you a favour by letting you spend time with their utterly adorable child.

This is why my heart sinks when I see that a young child is sat in the seat in front of me on a plane.
No matter how 'adorable' the child is, I don't want to have to spend the journey interacting and pulling funny faces with him or her everytime they look over the seat. for 8 plus hours. You are forced into a position where you are more or less having to entertaining them.
I want to be left in peace to read my book, watch the film, doze and drink

Glitterpegs · 15/08/2016 21:18

Your DH sounds more of a twat than the parents of the annoying kid

sallyjane40 · 15/08/2016 21:20

Fine to tell him very clearly to go back to mummy, but imo you shouldn't pick up kids without their parents permission - I'd have been pretty angry if I was his mother.
As they were close by, you could have said to her fairly bluntly that you'd like a bit of peace, and to keep him with her; that would probably surprise her (sounds like she didn't twig that u didn't want him around); picking up the child was going too far, he was probably quite scared, she probably had a moment of wondering if you were going to kidnap him, and you were lucky he hadn't been taught to fight off strangers who pick him up!

Use your words ;-) ...

Batteriesallgone · 15/08/2016 21:28

I actually think it's really harsh on young children to think it's ok to entertain them 'a bit' but then stop.

It takes kids a long time to learn social norms, learn they aren't the centre of everyone's universe etc. It generally takes active parenting (or other education eg school) to help them learn that other people have a tolerance for play etc etc.

If you don't want to interact with random children don't encourage them. If you are willing to pull one face you should be willing to pull 100, or have a proper conversation with them and/or their parents about how you are done playing now.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 15/08/2016 21:30

The child was crying because you took him back to his parents. Take it as a compliment. You must be amazing company.
I think you're going a bit OTT still being irritated. Its only a child chatting shit. Not the end of the world

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