Away from home and partner gone missing, help

[Discopanda]

Posting here for traffic. We're in Brighton for the weekend and last night got a babysitter so we could go out for a few drinks. When we got in just before 12, DP went with babysitter to get cash to pay her, hasn't come back since. I guessed he'd gone on for a couple more drinks but everywhere will be closed now. His phone is off (it was low on battery when we were out), I don't have a working mobile just my laptop, he's got the only door key and I can't drive, so I am literally stuck here with our 2 DDs (1 and 4), check out is at 4 and I've got all our things and have no idea how I'm even going to be able to take the girls downstairs for breakfast without the key card to get back in after. I was considering calling the local A&E to see if he's got hurt or injured but don't want to wake them up. What do I do?!?!

[Doublemint]

Woah. I don't know if I would believe him unless I saw the police paperwork.

I'd also check the debit card statement to see how much money he took out. And if it was loads then it would smack of a great big juicy lie.

[happypoobum]

tbh even if it was all true I would still bin him.

[PerpendicularVincent]

This sounds completely dodgy to me. Can he prove that he was at the police station?

A man with a partner and children shouldn't just disappear off without saying what he's doing. He's totally irresponsible.

[littlemissM92]

did he come home? x

[Doinmummy]

littlemissM92 read the thread

[SauvignonPlonker]

I really feel for OP, having to face up to her "D"P's story. She is probably sleep-deprived, anxious & emotional.

I hope she can find some clarity & support from this thread. But there are some really horrible posts on it. I wouldn't blame her for not coming back to it.

[VimFuego101]

What Doublemint said.

[Disappointednomore]

NickiFury - after the Thailand incident was that when you called time on your marriage? My ex's MO was also disappearing acts and when you're in a hotel with a child you're really stuck. He used to go straight out from work and switch his phone off then come home and be abusive when I had to get up for work the next day. It often seemed to happen when I had something important on the next day or we were about to go on holiday. It seemed normal after a while

[Tiggeryoubastard]

The police wouldn't have released him so early. It just doesn't happen like that. So let's face it - someone is telling lies......

[hertsnessex]

this is total bullshit! He is totally lying to you.

[DawnMumsnet]

Afternoon all,

We've had a few reports about some not-so-subtle troll hunting on this thread. Can we ask you all to bear in mind our Talk Guidelines please.

The OP's been around for years - if she's decided to start trolling now, she's been playing a very long game indeed.

Discopanda, we hope you're okay.

[3weeksthankgod]

Whether it's the truth or not (it's not) he is out of order. I wouldn't want to be with that man whatever. Presumably you have gone away to enjoy a family break together and he does this. How can you trust him?

[Msqueen33]

Could he have gone off and slept with the sitter? Doesn't sound plausible but you know him better than anyone else. I'd find that he buggered off whilst we were away with the kids really out of order.

[harshbuttrue1980]

I never normally say this, as I'm all for freedom for both partners to be able to go out. However, it is so utterly shitty for him to do this and not even tell you. When he was arrested, the police would have offered him a phone call and he should have called you. Does he have previous form for this? If so, I'd be thinking about calling it a day. If he wanted to go for a few pints he should have let you know, and when he was arrested he should also have let you know.

[SarahMack1]

...

[blueturtle6]

Well said mumsnet, but even if the OP was new surely we should benefit of the doubt on a site which is to support mums

[Discopanda]

Hi all, he wasn't back at 4.30, at 4.30 he still wasn't back so I posted for advice and soon after called A&E. I don't have a working mobile at the moment and didn't want to email his parents in the early hours worrying them before I knew what was happening. Two people distracted him and took his debit card and another credit card, they stole £300 from his account which the bank are refunding and tried to spend £600 in a shop using the credit card which had been blocked by then. Police were downstairs when he arrived back at 8.30am. He has been a f*cking idiot and I'm still angry and disappointed but at least he's alive and not in a ditch or in prison. Also, the babysitter was from an agency and married with 2 children, she didn't come across as the hubby-seducing sort, but thanks all of you who implied it!

[3weeksthankgod]

Why was he arrested op?

[Doublemint]

Now that makes much more sense! I seen he wasn't actually arrested then? He's been a monumental twat though to get himself in that position when you were supposed to be having a family break.

[MumOnTheRunCatchingUp]

which shop was open at 4.30 AM??

[Discopanda]

He said he was "making a scene", police say drunk and disorderly, he'd had 5 drinks when we were out together (9ish until 11.30 and doesn't normally drink) then decided to have a couple more after paying the babysitter, he has a history of getting loud and angry after a few drinks.

[Discopanda]

Mumontherun they tried to use the credit card this morning after he cancelled it.

[WeekendAway]

Ok I'm confused now. why were the police there? Because you had reported him missing?

Did you get official confirmation that he really had been arrested and held overnight? How on earth did the thieves get his PIN and if the police were called when they were caught in the act how come he was the one arrested?

It sounds as though what he has told you is the truth of sorts but not the whole truth, not by a long way. Was he in a lap dancing club or a gay club by any chance?

[3weeksthankgod]

Do you believe him?