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AIBU?

Away from home and partner gone missing, help

620 replies

Discopanda · 14/08/2016 04:25

Posting here for traffic. We're in Brighton for the weekend and last night got a babysitter so we could go out for a few drinks. When we got in just before 12, DP went with babysitter to get cash to pay her, hasn't come back since. I guessed he'd gone on for a couple more drinks but everywhere will be closed now. His phone is off (it was low on battery when we were out), I don't have a working mobile just my laptop, he's got the only door key and I can't drive, so I am literally stuck here with our 2 DDs (1 and 4), check out is at 4 and I've got all our things and have no idea how I'm even going to be able to take the girls downstairs for breakfast without the key card to get back in after. I was considering calling the local A&E to see if he's got hurt or injured but don't want to wake them up. What do I do?!?!

OP posts:

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ScarlettDarling · 14/08/2016 08:56

Strange situation. Hope things turn out ok.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 14/08/2016 08:56

My first thought was the babysitter....

To this poster and everyone else who suggested this - why are you leaping to the (frankly absurd ) conclusion he has been led astray by the sitter.

happypoobum · 14/08/2016 08:57

I agree with PP, he has probably gone off with the babysitter

Central Brighton is teeming with people, police and taxis all night long on a Saturday night/Sunday morning. OP says she is staying at a big central hotel ( so it's most likely on the seafront) it just isn't plausible that he can't find it/find a local who knows where it is/get a taxi there.

You do seem unsurprised OP so I guess he has form for this kind of shit. I would get up early and go home, leave him to it.

blueturtle6 · 14/08/2016 08:57

OP could've fallen asleep, she was still up at four am, or seeing to the kids first thing in morning, or calling hospitals/police. MN may it be top priority.hope he's turned up ok.

Limerish · 14/08/2016 08:59

any news?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 14/08/2016 09:00

Wdigin just checked our local agency- apparently paying in cash at the end is how it's done.

Still very odd that neither parent would check on their way home that they had money.

bakeoffcake · 14/08/2016 09:02

I'd try to get in contact with the babysitter, he may have told her if he intended to go out, where they got the money from etc.

YouAreMyRain · 14/08/2016 09:02

Yes, I've used sitters.com ( fully recommended) and you pay a booking fee online when you book then you pay the babysitter in cash at the end.

Muddlewitch · 14/08/2016 09:03

Lass with Sitters.com you pay a registration and booking fee with them and then pay cash to the babysitter, but they tell you the minimum you should pay at the time of booking (eg it's more on Friday/Saturday nights, not less than 3 hours money etc.) You do also have the sitters contact details though as they call you an hour before the booking.

You have to register your debit card with them to pay the registration/booking fees so presumably if someone didn't pay the sitter they would debit it.

I use them a lot and find them to be really good (we have two regular sitters from there) OP I am sure if you contact them they will help as much as they can.

Also the majority of sitters on there are adults with children themselves (one of ours is a TA and one a retired teacher) and have childcare experience/qualifications, I haven't seen very many teens on there at all so not sure the idea of him going off clubbing with them is that likely.

If I was the sitter I don't think I would be happy or comfortable to have to go the cashpoint with a stranger to have to get my money to be honest.

DontDeadOpenInside · 14/08/2016 09:04

OP, are you OK?

KingLooieCatz · 14/08/2016 09:06

Lots of people suggesting ring the agency. Like the phones are manned between 4am Saturday night and first thing Sunday morning. When we have used Sitters the sitter often sent us a text before they arrived though. And the sitters were usually mature ladies with relevant experience like qualified childminders, so I'd be astonished if the sitter has played a part in this.

Hope he has turned up safe and sound.

BikeGeek · 14/08/2016 09:06

I was confused at first as I didn't realise the babysitter had gone with him to get cash.

If I was the babysitter I wouldn't be comfortable with trailing after someone I didn't know to get money to pay me from a cash machine.

Surely the normal thing in a 'forgot to get cash' situation is for the babysitter to wait whilst it is fetched.

AddictedtoGreys · 14/08/2016 09:07

Has he turned up?

ghostyslovesheep · 14/08/2016 09:07

Yes when I have used a baby sitting service I've agreed hours and paid up front - never walked them to a cash point gone midnight

NoahVale · 14/08/2016 09:08

pretty slack of you not to have Cash for babysitter

bloodynoris · 14/08/2016 09:09

Hope his back. Just to throw another spanner in the works. If he has been up all night drinking I doubt it very much he'll be able to drive home at 4 as he will still be over the limit. So make plans for you and the Dc to get a train home and leave him there.

NoahVale · 14/08/2016 09:10

perhaps he fell asleep on the beach?

Wdigin2this · 14/08/2016 09:10

If I were that sitter, no way would I have gone with a complete stranger to get the cash. I would have said, 'don't worry, the company will debit your card'. This is all beginning to sound odd!!!

Magazinepile · 14/08/2016 09:11

Maybe he just got sidetracked

MrsSchadenfreude · 14/08/2016 09:12

If he's been out drinking all night, I'd rip him another arsehole when he gets in! That's hardly a nice family weekend away, is it?

SanityClause · 14/08/2016 09:12

If I was the sitter I don't think I would be happy or comfortable to have to go the cashpoint with a stranger to have to get my money to be honest.

I agree. I would have stayed at the hotel, and waited for him to come back with the money. And the clock would have been ticking while I waited, as well.

How rude of him!

(Unless, of course, there was some kind of previous conspiracy between the husband and the babysitter, in the first place, where they had secretly arranged it all in the first place. Sounds unlikely, but less so than an impromptu pub crawl, IMO.)

frumpet · 14/08/2016 09:14

Surely he must be back by now ? Hope you mananged to get another room key sorted .

BoboBunnyH0p · 14/08/2016 09:14

Hopefully he has turned up by now.

NavyandWhite · 14/08/2016 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 14/08/2016 09:16

Why are you worried about a 4pm check out with the kids? That is a long time away!
If he has gone out drinking (Brighton stays open all night for drinks somewhere) then he will be back to you before 4pm.
If he has had an accident and in hospital then you will probably have other worries than checking out.
If he has been arrested then you would have been contacted by now!

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