Not invited to weddings with partner

[Angelic999]

Hi,

I am reaching that age when everybody around me is getting married, as is my dp of around one year (but off and on longer than that).

I have been feeling a bit sensitive and left out of his life and circles of friends as I have not been invited to any of the weddings he will be attending/has attended recently (around seven in total). At first I just brushed it off although I was slightly offended, but now I am beginning to question why I am being left out of so many invitations.

I always thought that if someone was in a relationship, out of courtesy you would extend the invitation to them as well even if you do not know them so well.

I am also paranoid that maybe it is simply that they don't know of my existence. If so this doesn't look positive for our relationship going forwards. He doesn't express an opinion on whether or not I should be invited he just tells me he is going to a wedding.

Any thoughts on plus one etiquette?

Everdeen, now you have got me thinking I suspect not.

He doesn't put anything on Facebook and hasn't updated his status for years. I don't tag him in posts for this reason so for example if we're out for a meal or day trip I wouldn't post about it on Facebook and because we do such few things with friends we don't get tagged by others either.

It's perfectly reasonable that you haven't been invited to any of these weddings. Neither the bride nor groom really knows you. And as for keeping your boyfriend company, presumably he knows a lot of the other guests and won't be lonely.

Your actual issue is that you haven't been invited to any of these weddings because his friends don't know you. If you don't spend time with his friends, this isn't destined to get very serious. It doesn't matter how long you date someone, if your friends don't become his friends and his friends don't become your friends, it will end in tears.

Don't push the invite point, your boyfriend is right, it's rude. But do suggest you start spending time with his friends and he starts spending time with yours.

He doesn't sound like he is in a relationship.

If he was all loved up he'd want to show you off to his friends.

Don't think you are both on the same page unfortunately.

I hate to add to the doubting chorus but I'd be questioning whether you were being presented as The Girlfriend too. Most weddings I've been to recently have treated single blokes like gold dust, to be seated carefully next to key single female friends/bridesmaids, which may explain why (a) you're not on the invite, and (b) why he's getting so many.

Long distance relationship, feeling of 'being kept separate' from his friends... I suspect you can do better than him.

Sorry OP but maybe his friends just don't like you and don't feel obliged to invite you. Especially if you've been on/off, don't live together and you've only briefly met them. To me it sounds like he knows full well none of them like you and so doesn't ask why you're not invited. A rule many couples go by is partners aren't invited unless they live with the person the invite was intended for. Isn't that the etiquette?

I realise I've just replied to something longer than a year old what an idiot!

I've been with my DP for 6 years and am still not always invited. To be honest, I am really relieved when I am not. I find weddings super boring, especially if I'm just a plus one and don't really know the people.

Does this sound familiar? www.shortlist.com/news/what-is-stashing-ghosting-dating-relationships-tinder/325024

If we knew a friends boyfriend/girlfriend and they were portrayed as a serious partner then we invited them to our wedding. We had a few friends where we'd never met their girlfriends, they'd been together less than a year, didn't live together and the guys gave the impression it wasn't a long term thing and/or they'd have more fun at the wedding without them and so they didn't get an invite.
I'm afraid t sounds like he may be portraying you as this to his friends.

My boyfriend asks me if I would like to go the shop with him.

Something wrong here op.

ZOMBIE 🙄

Your relationship is fairly new, and you have been on and off, mabey the friends don't see you both as an established couple, and have not met you. It is expensive to host a wedding, inviting a good friend or relative, will take precedence over a friends partner they hardly know who is in a new relationship. They might just be inviting married or established plus ones.

You've been off and on and his friends know this. You're not married, you're not engaged and/or you don't live together. In fact, you live some distance from him. And you've only been 'back together' after quite a long break up for less than a year.

I'm very sorry, but you aren't likely considered 'serious' enough for a Plus 1 invite to most weddings where people don't actually know 'you'. You're just not.

I get the distinct feeling his friends don't consider your relationship serious I'm afraid so consider him single (hence no plus one).

Grrrr....well hopefully the OP has been to a few weddings since last frigging August by now!!

ZOMBIE THREAD. IT'S OVER A YEAR OLD AND PROBABLY RESOLVED SOMEHOW BY NOW.