To think that 14 (barely) is too young to stay out all night in Soho?

[overprotective]

DS, 14 at the end of July, wants to stay out all night queuing outside a shop he likes in Soho. In the past he's gotten up really early (5am) and taken the a train into town with friends to queue outside the shop. I'm fine with that but feel that overnight is too much.

He was trying to arrange a whole group of boys. Three are now allowed and plan to take the early train. One has gotten permission and one has been told he can do it but only if DS can do it. Now DS is angry because I'm 'ruining it for everyone' by saying no. I'm a bit cheesed off with the parents who put the responsibility for saying no onto me. Now DS feels responsible for whether that boy can go or not. I've offered to stay in a hotel in Soho and DS can come and sleep there then go back early but I don't think the friend would be allowed under those circumstances and it would be unfair for the one boy with permission to stand there on his own.

My concerns are:

They're very young.
The trains stop running overnight so at one point they would be unable to get home if something went wrong.
They will most likely spend their time playing Pokemon Go so their phones will die at some point overnight. Spoke to DS about this and he swears it wouldn't happen but I've heard that before.
They could be in a situation that they are too young to handle.
The nature of Soho overnight with it's bars, strip joints, etc.

I feel quite strongly that it's not appropriate but I'm feeling guilty right now and feeling the pressure. DH is no help. He's away on a business trip and I think he would be OK with it as he finds it hard to say no to the children. I'm always the bad cop. Usually that's fine but I hate that everyone (including the other parents) have shifted the responsibility onto me for this.

Help me mumsnetters! AIBU?

Overprotective, have a check on the weather forecast in case you end up doing 10 hours in pouring rain by agreeing to wait with them. I sus[ect they'll find it a long night and only do it once.

Hahahahaha I don't think o could have avoided laughing in his face. You're a better woman than I am.

That's a great big fuck no btw in case I am not crystal clear. You were very kind to offer to stay in a hotel for him, but even that's way over the top for new clothes surely?

They wouldn't be able to walk to mcdonalds to use the loo at 3am. The latest they close is 2:45. Anything that will be open, will not allow kids in. So, good question, where they going to pee?

Someone up thread said oh let them. It's a teen thing so will be policed... Sorry but the west end police, as all other forces have a lot more to do than babysit a queue for a store on a regular basis. And it's not just teens that go. It much older people in their late 20's/early 30's who go, and who don't need babysitting.

for the others saying let them go. Soho during the day is a nice area. Lots of people and shops, and a nice place to take the kids (if you can distract them from the sex shops). After dark this changes. Yes it's still busy, but everything changes. The stores close for the clubs. There's quiet a lot of sex shops in the area, including brothels. Its also a big area for fettish, and it's normal to see people being lead around like dogs (that's some of the tames things). Although the police are still cracking down, prostitution and drugs are still rife in the area. Not all the prostitutes are discrete. And of course crime. Last year alone over 800 violent sexual assaults. So, those saying they would let the boys go, knowing this would you still let them go and camp out over night?

Isn't Mc Donald's TCR open 24hrs? I know for certain there is a 24 restaurant somewhere in soho, plus a cafe.... Also, lots of utterly rank public urinals near Soho Sq!

OP I'd book a hotel to retreat to in case they decide to give up! Also, talk to other mums about protocol for if one of them wants to leave and sleep in the hotel room. Would you be happy to leave the rest of them for 10 mins to walk one back to the hotel?

Please don't. My mother used to let me stay out all night in central London when I was about that age (neglect + lack of boundaries) and although I found it exciting at the time, it was pretty damaging. Not that I think one single night would do terrible harm, but it's not a suitable environment for someone of that age.

Wow - no! I have a 15 year old son who looks about 17, we live in central London, and he travels all over the place and out in the evening by himself or with friends. But there is no way on earth I would allow this!

Not a chance.

Irresponsible for the other parent to say yes. Barely 14 and doing that? No.

No way. And I wouldn't be trying to accommodate it or facilitate it with or without a adult. Just seems like a ridiculous reasons for anyone to stay out all night.

Just laugh and say good one

My then 15 tried to get me agree for him to go to a lock in at a pub to wtavh boxing 😁

I said I give him 10 out of 10 for brass neck but noooooooo

LOL pleasemothermay1. I find my standard response these days is "nice try"

No way. And the shop doesn't even open until 11am. They're going to be queuing for 12 hours? That's crazy! Even if they weren't 14. I wouldn't want to spend all night in Soho and I'm ancient.

Bonkers.

I think you're very nice for offering to get the hotel room. But I would laugh in DS's face if he suggested this.

As a parent of a 14 year old, I feel your pain. I said no to an arrangement my daughter had made last week after days of worrying about it. I felt awful, but my daughter bounced back after 2 minutes. I was the only one to suffer guilt pangs. Say no full stop. It will hopefully blow over faster than you think!

No way! Are you really going to camp out all night in Soho with your DS just so he can buy an overpriced hoodie? Bizarre behaviour.

My eldest will be 14 at the end of November and she isn't even allowed to get the train into London without an adult during the day time yet. And I don't think that's unusual.*

Well plenty of kids from year 7 onwards travel daily into and around London for school so probably more unusual than you think.

Show him this OP -

Supreme Hypebeasts
These teenagers line up outside every Wednesday night and wait until Thursday morning to be the first ones there when the new stuff drops. If they have jobs, they called out sick today. But chances are they’re still in high school. One day, when they finally get laid, they’ll look back on the hours they wasted waiting for a Nike SB collaboration or CDG Shirt polka dot tee, and cry a single tear for not having their priorities straight.

I think there's a world of difference in traveling "into" London on your own and "around" London on your own. If you live in London and have been used to jumping on and off buses and tubes since a nipper that's completely different to if you've been a couple of times on family outings.

However I am at this request. I must live in a parallel universe. I can't imagine either of my DSs (13&15) or any of their friends thinking this was a halfway reasonable request, or frankly having any interest in queuing all night for clothes.

Oh, they'll be queuing for much longer than 12 hours. DS is talking about doing 24 as it's supposed to be a big 'drop' and he has birthday money to spend. The queues can wrap around the block and they want to be near the front. If I go it'll just be from sunset to sunrise basically.

Bonkers, but fashion is DS's special interest. He's doing Textiles GCSE, follows lots of labels and makes money reselling items once he's done with them (so he can buy more).

The overnight is Wed 17 Aug for the drop on Thurs morning. Will report back with details if it all goes ahead.

Lived in London for years, living in Dalston and Farringdon and hanging out in Shoreditch, Hoxton, old st, soho etc years ago when they were not as cool and frankly a bit dodgy - never had a problem. What I mean is I am def not averse to a bit of grittiness, the crack dealers on our street used to call a cheery hello when we went past etc . Was out in soho six months ago and said to dh when home that there was just a funny sketchy vibe that I really didn't like, esp at the Oxford St end. It was all a bit Dickensian, not the people having fun (of all kinds, good for them) but for some reason I just became super aware of all the dark alleys and a lot of sinister-ish people knocking about. I think there are a lot of people really struggling in London right now and resenting the divide between rich and poor... Put your naice young teenager there all night armed with lots of cash - crazy!!!! Don't do it.

To the person who said that the Police wouldn't pay attention to the queue.

Sadly I know better, DD1 spent part of a night queuing with a friend who wanted the new Iphone on Regent St, they were both pulled out of the line by a copper who walked past and I ended up at West End central picking her up at 3 am.

The police pay attention to these things as the chances of robbery, drunken behaviour from the older ones is quite high.

Btw I didn't know she was there, she had told the other girl's mum it was fine :(

Definitely not. Offer to go and wait round the corner if you can be arsed. Soho is not safe at night for young teenagers.

My son is 15. We live in London and he is very much into skate boarding -therefore familiar with the Supreme and Palace drops. Some of his friends tend to start queuing from 5/6am at most (too early for him...) but none ever do overnight queues yet still manage to grab what they want. I would not allow an overnighter on Soho's pavement at 14. No way.

Some 14 year old boys spending the night in Soho with some money in their hands. What could possibly go wrong?

They think they can do 24hrs!? Wow, commitment! Is there any form of bank card you can get them OP? So they don't have to be there with masses of cash?

Nope, you're not! I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it myself, and I'm (a young looking, obviously) 50!!! And lived here all my adult life.......