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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

re Nanny Leaving Issue

39 replies

MelCookie · 10/08/2016 14:23

Our nanny told me on 18 July that she's leaving to return home, but indicated that she'd be available until end September (no leaving date agreed).

We have now found a replacement nanny available to start in third week of September.

We have offered departing nanny her full hours for September, but condensed into the first three weeks (we do this sometimes in school hols - e.g. work full days this week and have next week off). She won't lose out financially but is kicking up a stink saying she wants to be with us until 30 Sep.

We can't afford to lose the other nanny, who seems perfect, or pay for two nannies!

AIBU?? .

OP posts:
OreosAreTasty · 10/08/2016 14:24

YABU. You should've clarified this in advance

LIZS · 10/08/2016 14:27

I assume the issue is that they live in. Either delay the new one (pay her a retainer) or fund accommodation for the one leaving. Yabu to expect her to work more hours and leave early.

impostersyndrome · 10/08/2016 14:27

Is her issue that she's going to lose somewhere to live for the latter part of September?

Original poster
MelCookie · 10/08/2016 14:28

Sorry, I should have said. No, she's a live out nanny.
There will be no difference financially, so she'll be able to cover her rent for Sep as normal.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 10/08/2016 14:30

Yabu - end of September is the 30th september

LIZS · 10/08/2016 14:31

In that case she works regular hours for 3 weeks and is given paid leave for the last.

Original poster
MelCookie · 10/08/2016 14:31

But 30 Sep was never agreed?!

OP posts:
doctoratsea · 10/08/2016 14:32

You should refer to the contract of employment and follow the termination procedure. One assumes that she has formally written to you with her notice of leaving? If in doubt call ACAS for free. The Helpline number is 0300 123 1100.

brambly · 10/08/2016 14:33

If she doesn't live in and would be receiving her full month's pay then YANBU, how would that arrangement pose a problem?

OreosAreTasty · 10/08/2016 14:35

But you agreed to the end of September.. Which is the 30th..

Original poster
MelCookie · 10/08/2016 14:37

No, we have not agreed a leaving date!
The "full hours for September" means the contractual amount of hours for September, which can be rejigged to extra hours one week and none the next (the contract sets this out).

OP posts:
Squiffy01 · 10/08/2016 14:37

No you a not BU! If she was live in then yes but she is live out if you say her pay will be exactly the same but just leaving a week early I can not for the life of me work out why that could be a problem.
Does she understand her pay isn't changing?
She didn't give you a date. If I had of given notice wnd of September I would be prepared for anything after the 20th cause that is towards the end of the month.
Her own fault not giving a date.

StackladysMorphicResonator · 10/08/2016 14:39

YANBU, why is she not happy? She'll effectively be taking the last week as leave, so will still be employed by you. What's her problem?

You should talk to her about it to determine why she's so insistent on this.

What does her contract say about termination?

P.S. Expect a lot of people saying YABU - MN is full of people who despise others who have a nanny, au pair or cleaner.

carefreeeee · 10/08/2016 14:42

What is it that she's unhappy about? Doing the extra hours? it doesn't really sound like there should be a problem.

Ask her why she is so keen to stay with you until end September

I suspect there must be something else you haven't told us yet!

Tohaveandtohold · 10/08/2016 14:43

Yanbu at all. Probably she has some things planned for the third week that you want to condense so probably won't be able to do them now. You are sticking to the contract so I don't know what the issue is. And really, depending on your contracts, many of these nannies have a 4 week notice period for a change so you are within that period.

Lovelyholiday · 10/08/2016 14:45

Could she not have a cross over with the next nanny, to settle her in and show her the ropes? I've done that before which also means you don't need to take the week off work.
Otherwise I can't see why current nanny wouldn't want a week off between jobs.

Original poster
MelCookie · 10/08/2016 14:50

Appreciate your replies
There really isn't anything else to say (I'm not holding back anything juicy, honestly!). Not keen on a handover. We did this last time and it wasn't massively helpful for the kids to be honest.
Oh well, will chat with her and try and understand her point of view. It's going to be a lovely atmosphere at home!

OP posts:
yoowhoo · 10/08/2016 14:58

You say you can't afford to pay both nannies but technically with your suggestion you are?! Because you want old nanny to work her full months hours into 3 weeks and pay her her full months wage, then new nanny will start last week and you will have to pay her. Can you see that?!

Shizzlestix · 10/08/2016 15:01

Yanbu, the nanny is, particularly if she's being paid the same amount. Bonkers.

diddl · 10/08/2016 15:04

I don't understand her problem!

You pay her until the end of Sept, she just doesn't need to come in for the last week!

ShoeEatingMonster · 10/08/2016 15:13

Just get her to do her normal hours for the three weeks then pay her for the full month. Surely you don't actually need her to do all those additional hours so just pay her for a week off. I don't see the point of making her work an extra weeks worth of hours just for the sake of it.

Original poster
MelCookie · 10/08/2016 15:17

It's not for sake of I, because I need those additional hours - DC doesn't start school until 3rd week in September.

OP posts:
andintothefire · 10/08/2016 15:25

What is her notice period if you terminate her employment? I think that if you have given her notice that you want her to finish before the end of September in circumstances where she would normally be entitled to longer notice then you may need to think again. On the other hand, if you can terminate with a month's notice (and after all you are in this position because she wants to leave) then it is fair enough to ask her to leave early because the new nanny needs to start earlier and you can't afford to pay for two.

Where I think you are being a tiny bit unreasonable is in taking the view that she is no worse off financially because you have offered to condense her hours. There are really two separate issues here: firstly whether you are entitled to ask her to leave earlier than she would have liked; and secondly whether she is prepared to do longer hours than usual at a time when you need extra childcare. I don't think you can really combine those into a single issue.

I think you need to talk to her and see if you can reach a compromise. However, I really don't think you can ask her to leave early if you should be giving her longer notice (given that she is expecting to have a job until the end of September) or expect her to do longer hours unless she agrees to them.

BananaThePoet · 10/08/2016 15:27

To my mind it doesn't matter whether you ABU or ANBU - it boils down to whether or not you can do what you propose according to your contract with the nanny. If you can then do it, if you can't then don't.
She's leaving and you need to do what is right for your family. Your duties are to them and not to a grown up woman who you will probably not see again anyway. She can look after herself - your kids can't - which is why you pay for a nanny presumably.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 10/08/2016 15:29

I don't understand her problem but I also don't understand yours.

What you pay will be the same