I've been called snobby, a party pooper and boring.
So as not to drip feed I have high functioning autism. So does dd but she is much more sensory than me.
The traditional family wedding around here is a huge church wedding with all the relatives (there would be hundreds) then to a noisy pub back room with awful flashy lights. Where every one will proceed to get pissed, probably fight, at the very least have a few tiffs.
I was willing to consider this when it would just be me that was extremely uncomfortable but I refuse to put dd through that amount of torment and meltdowns on what I want to be a nice day for us.
Any other idea I come up with is being torn apart by relatives who don't really understand autism. I just wanted to vent on here really before I send confetti bombs out.
'Oh don't you want to share your being day with your family?'
No. There are about 200 of the fuckers I only see when there is free booze/food on offer. I can't stand most of them or crowds. I want a few of the people closest to me who I actually see day to day.
I really couldn't give a fuck if Aunty Judy would get upset if little Jimmy whose 40's fifth cousin isn't invited. NONE of you are invited, stick that in your pipe Judy.
'All the family can't afford to/ want to go to the Isle of Wight to that small church that means so much to you as a couple'
Good. You have discovered my master plan.
A) I know damn well you can't/won't. That's the idea (and why I've made it out to be far more expensive tang it actually is 
)
B) That church means a lot to DP and I even though we aren't religious. We have had many miscarriages but we left a candle there twice when I was 8 weeks pregnant while on holiday and got dd and ds.
'The family will fall out with you if you don't have a big party, we all live a big party and a drink'
Good for you. I hate big parties. So I'm not having one.
Sorry. That felt good though 😄
AIBU?
To not want a bloody disco piss up for my wedding.
Peppatina · 09/08/2016 23:00
PS It wasnt a long flight though....Paris, and tucked up in a fabulous hotel with cocktails just the 2 of us by 11 
Totally op. We have told our 4 to have the wedding and Christmases they want. We have GC but no wedding yet.
Do people really provide a free bar at a wedding? I'd so be there! Maybe you need to tell your guests they have to pay for their meal, drinks and the band? Job done peppatina
Good for you! We got massive guilt trips about extended family from DHs Dad. Extended family that DH hadn't seen since he was 16. Family who made it clear that he wasn't considered family 
and people I had never met in the 10 years I'd been close friends with and then in a relationship with him. Fuck them all. I was stil pressured into something bigger than I wanted (40 people) but it felt better knowing that I wasn't having the stupid family issues alongside it!
Giddy, she did say need an onion if she's learned anything from the Joey Tribbiani School of Acting (hint: it involves plucking...)
I had 20 people, midday wedding, lunch and then all done and dusted by 4pm. Lovely. we have recently realised I probably have HFA but that is nobody's business but mine
Your wedding sounds marvellous. Your mistake was in discussing it with anyone but your DP before the invites went out
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