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AIBU?

To not want a bloody disco piss up for my wedding.

110 replies

Peppatina · 09/08/2016 23:00

I've been called snobby, a party pooper and boring.

So as not to drip feed I have high functioning autism. So does dd but she is much more sensory than me.

The traditional family wedding around here is a huge church wedding with all the relatives (there would be hundreds) then to a noisy pub back room with awful flashy lights. Where every one will proceed to get pissed, probably fight, at the very least have a few tiffs.

I was willing to consider this when it would just be me that was extremely uncomfortable but I refuse to put dd through that amount of torment and meltdowns on what I want to be a nice day for us.

Any other idea I come up with is being torn apart by relatives who don't really understand autism. I just wanted to vent on here really before I send confetti bombs out.

'Oh don't you want to share your being day with your family?'

No. There are about 200 of the fuckers I only see when there is free booze/food on offer. I can't stand most of them or crowds. I want a few of the people closest to me who I actually see day to day.

I really couldn't give a fuck if Aunty Judy would get upset if little Jimmy whose 40's fifth cousin isn't invited. NONE of you are invited, stick that in your pipe Judy.

'All the family can't afford to/ want to go to the Isle of Wight to that small church that means so much to you as a couple'

Good. You have discovered my master plan.

A) I know damn well you can't/won't. That's the idea (and why I've made it out to be far more expensive tang it actually is Grin)

B) That church means a lot to DP and I even though we aren't religious. We have had many miscarriages but we left a candle there twice when I was 8 weeks pregnant while on holiday and got dd and ds.

'The family will fall out with you if you don't have a big party, we all live a big party and a drink'

Good for you. I hate big parties. So I'm not having one.

Sorry. That felt good though 😄

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ladyjadey · 09/08/2016 23:22

I deeply resent the idea that KY wedding day is to please random family members who I never see.

So I'm running away with the family and friends who I do want there. We are getting married abroad.

I'm with you OP; YANBU

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ladyjadey · 09/08/2016 23:23

*my NOT KY lol

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Notquitewhatiexpected · 09/08/2016 23:24

My now-husband and I eloped to Italy with our young son. So romantic and no hassle, other than m-i-l not speaking to us for months (every cloud!). It was the best way for us, and ultimately, that's all that matters. Do it your way, sod the rest of them.

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Peppatina · 09/08/2016 23:24

They wouldn't know if I was there if not even if I wore a neon green wedding dress.

The last family occasion I was 'encouraged' to attend (I lasted twenty minutes) was more like a nightclub. I had no idea who anyone was and I couldn't hear them anyway.

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FlyingElbows · 09/08/2016 23:25

Sod your family, go to your church and have a ceremony that means something to you. I think your church idea is really lovely.

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PickAChew · 09/08/2016 23:26

Good for you! Have the wedding you want. If your extended family want a piss up and disco, they can organise it for themselves.

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GiddyOnZackHunt · 09/08/2016 23:29

You could have a 'hurriedly' set up Skype from the ferry post to the pub where everyone is. Look a bit sad and tell them to party for you.

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RubbleBubble00 · 09/08/2016 23:31

Have a nice afternoon tea in church hall then disappear off on a nice family honeymoon and leave them to it

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SpaceDinosaur · 09/08/2016 23:34

POWER TO PEPPA

Your wedding, your way. Bloody good for you!!!
BrewCakeGrin

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Peppatina · 09/08/2016 23:36

Giddy Like one if those Oscar speeches? With the fake teary eyes?

'I'm so sad I couldn't make it, but here is cousin Vicky as a stand in.'

I might have a lovely cream tea after and a stroll around the model village with my chosen ones Wink

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Lorelei76 · 09/08/2016 23:38

bloody hell
if they want a massive party, they can organise one and pay for one

(in fact if they are that desperate for one, they can pay me to organise one, I could do with some extra cash!)

have the wedding you want. And enjoy it!

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OopsThereGoMyTrousers · 09/08/2016 23:38

Aunt Judy and Co's idea of a great wedding sounds like my idea of hell.

Isle of Wight sounds great, but get printers to make an 'accidental' typo on invites so that all the guests go to the Isle of Dogs

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GiddyOnZackHunt · 09/08/2016 23:40

Yeah. Like that :) Head & shoulders shot only so they can't see the onion in your hands.

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DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/08/2016 23:40

The church at Godshill is lovelySmile

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HeddaGarbled · 09/08/2016 23:45

Me & H didn't want an evening party (hate that bit where everyone has to hang around between the reception and evening do). Mum organised a party at her house, me & H were in our hotel room necking champagne and room service sandwiches. Win win.

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Italiangreyhound · 09/08/2016 23:46

YANBU it is your day, do as you wish.

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PovertyPain · 09/08/2016 23:49

Serious question. Why would you even consider paying out a small fortune so the feckers can eat and drink themselves into oblivion? The money would be better spent on your DH and kids. If you can afford it, put it in an account for your children's future. What does your DH to be, think of it all?

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SanityClause · 09/08/2016 23:51

I know some people who used to have a tea room in Godshill.

Apparently is it the second prettiest village in the UK.

Grin

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Peppatina · 09/08/2016 23:57

Feeding and watering (vodka-ing) the Horde would require a remortgage and a lottery win.

On a serious note no we couldn't afford it. But even if we could I wouldn't want to.

Luckily Dp is happy with how antisocial we are and has said a huge wedding is also his idea of hell. Grin

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MissElizaBennettsBookmark · 09/08/2016 23:58

Fuck 'em Peppa

Hope you enjoy your day

SmileFlowers

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CodyKing · 10/08/2016 00:12

Any other idea I come up with is being torn apart by relatives who don't really understand autism.

Every wedding makes people crawl out and have an opinion - you won't please anyone so please yourself!

Sounds like a lively calm stress free wedding wedding - just ignore the comments

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ClopySow · 10/08/2016 00:16

Can i please have a "fuck you judy" tshirt?

I've never even been on a hen night. This could be my first, even if it isn't happening.

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altiara · 10/08/2016 00:17

YABU in telling relatives your ideas! Never do that unless you want them to have a say (by which I mean be negative about them!)

Just book the wedding YOU and DH want and announce it. Important thing is that it's not negotiable!

I hate discos too and having to pretend to enjoy myself. Cream tea and bunting sounds great!

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Tokelau · 10/08/2016 00:18

YANBU.

I hate crowds, flashing lights and loud music, and have spent my life avoiding them! I don't blame you at all. Have the wedding that you and your husband to be will enjoy.

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MilesHuntsWig · 10/08/2016 00:23

Yay go you!

Another vote for "fuck 'em" here.

Enjoy your lovely day!

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