to want in laws to correctly pronounce my very ordinary name?

[DrSeuss]

I have a very ordinary, English-of-Greek-origin name. Spelled in the traditional way, couldn't e simpler, really.
For over twenty years, ILs have mispronounced it. For twenty years, I and my husband have periodically corrected them. Not a huge thing, granted but it grates every time they say it wrongly.

AIBU to slightly mispronounce their names just a little, e.g. Sarah becomes Sorah, Jim becomes Jom? Childish, I know, but it is pretty much the only thing I have asked of them in twenty years! Other family members ask for and receive special food despite having no real grounds for this or meals served at a particular time despite having no children. I'd just like them to say my name without me mentally wincing!

thanks Mummyoflittledragon

Helen I feel for you, my dd is Ellen and despite having repeated the pronunciation of her name to certain family members a million times, they still call her Helen! It really pisses me off but I've given up correcting them.

You are welcome

Yes it is normal to try to pronounce names the way the person was first introduced/ introduced themselves, even if it sounds "wrong" to your ear - however it's bloody hard to swap pronunciation once you have been saying somebody's name one way for a year or 2 (or 20)! It is also incredibly hard or impossible to change your pronunciation if you actually can't hear the difference, as may be the case here!

YANBU....I know how you feel! I have a name which can be spelled/pronounced in two different ways. I don't like my name anyway, but I HATE the other spelling/pronunciation and correct everyone who calls me it...consequencely, I'm careful to make sure I get everyone else's name right

It's not an accent thing. I've had it pronounced Hellin by people from all over. It gets on my very last one. I usually just smile and plot horrible revenge in my head

I had to retrain myself to pronounce vowels the northern way when my parents moved from SW to NE England when I was towards the end of primary school - the teasing was unrelenting.

As an adult it can be hard to hear the difference and harder to change your own pronunciation - especially if your error is not pointed out the very first time, but left to embed and then brought up years later.

It's bad for me I am Jenna my partners ex is Gemma.. Occasionally someone in the family makes the slip which isn't good since they all really dislike this Gemma.. I can only assume I am not popular

I can see why people would want it properly said hel-en, but to me its hel-in, im scottish so think thats just my accent though. No one ever really gets my name right, couldnt give two shits

Oh that seems quite a simple accent thing. I was thinking of a lady I know called Denise yet her mil always calls her Denis! I'm not sure if she minds, but I find it awfully weird

My MIL actually did linguistics and language acquisition at uni. Which would be tricky if you can't hear differences in pronunciation!

I did a linguistics degree. I can HEAR the differences, but it takes massive levels of effort to SAY it. That's why in our phonetics final we all sat there whispering to ourselves - trying to work out how to transcribe accents.

I think you're being precious and ridiculous (and agree it's an accent thing).

I am most certainly not southern English and I've never heard anyone pronounce Helen with both Es the same.

I have a sound in my surname the DH (who is southern English) cannot pronounce at all. I don't get annoyed at him when he (mis)pronounces it (as does everyone in his family - and just about all my colleagues). I chose DH's surname for DS2 though because it avoids the sound lots of people can't produce and it's shorter and easier to spell.

Well I'm northern and I know how to say Helen. Ok maybe I might drop the H but I know what it should sound like, Hellin is just wrong.

I can't say it and make both the e sounds the same, like in hen.

I'm trying. But no.

Your name is Hellun. I can see Hellin. I cannot make my mouth do Hellen and it sound like a name I've ever heard anyone else have. YABU...

OP - you are from the North - your PIL are from the South. There are many, many words they will pronouce differently from you (many they probably think you are pronoucing wrongly), because you have different accents. Helen is one of those words.

BTW - I grew up in the North, I now live in the South - if I think about how I would pronouce Helen in my northern accent, it sounds like Hel-un, in the South it;s more Hel-in, like your in-laws do. The only way I'd pronouce it Hel-en is if it was spelt Helene.

I'm struggling with pronouncing Charlotte with no r. That's shallot as in the onion type thing? The r makes the ar sound to me, removing it leaves just a. My DH denies that he pronounces pool and Paul the same. Given that there are places called Poole (same as pool) and Paull (same as Paul) we had a bit of confusion.

Koala expresses my preferred pronunciation much better than I do.
I am strangely relieved to know that there are others with my name who know just what I mean!

I know what it should sound like, Hellin is just wrong.

No, you know how it should sound in your accent.

I naturally say Hell-un. I can see Hell-in too. Hel-en is completely alien to me though.

I bet you'd all day Bl-OO-p Bl-EE-p but really it's blopblip... 🙄

If you're wanting to appropriate an accent to pronounce your PILs' names, I suggest a nice Glaswegian 'Seruh'.

I also say Hel- schwa-n

I've heard Hellin

Have heard Helene (sorry don't know how to do accents on keyboard)

never heard Helen

Oh, okay - I totally get it now!

Yes, Helen with an unstressed second syllable (like 'heaven', but with an 'L' in the middle) is normal.

Hell-in is bonkers!

YANBU.

I think names and accents out together make a nightmare!

Yoda, as I say, lack of knowledge of linguistics caused me to express my preference badly. Your fist go is correct, IMHO!

I don't mind people misprouncing my name. What does fooookkk me off big time is people, saying hells bells and to hell and back! Grrrrrr!