to want in laws to correctly pronounce my very ordinary name?

[DrSeuss]

I have a very ordinary, English-of-Greek-origin name. Spelled in the traditional way, couldn't e simpler, really.
For over twenty years, ILs have mispronounced it. For twenty years, I and my husband have periodically corrected them. Not a huge thing, granted but it grates every time they say it wrongly.

AIBU to slightly mispronounce their names just a little, e.g. Sarah becomes Sorah, Jim becomes Jom? Childish, I know, but it is pretty much the only thing I have asked of them in twenty years! Other family members ask for and receive special food despite having no real grounds for this or meals served at a particular time despite having no children. I'd just like them to say my name without me mentally wincing!

shock in my experience the Helliners say just that Hel-lin (lin to rhyme with pin)

So are you saying in your accent Pike there is no difference at all in how you pronounce fun and fin?

I'm trying to get a handle on your pronounciation since it's clearly important to you (even though you think the OP is being precious about finding the pronounciation of her own name important)

You seem to be saying that 'en' is prounounced 'in' in your accent. Fair enough. But it leads me to be confused about how you would pronounce words like pen and pin differently.

And regardless of your accent. If someone says "you don't pronounce my name like that, you pronounce it like this' surely you'd try and pronounce it like they asked. Eg I call my Aunty Marie, 'Aunty Marry' because that's how she pronounces it (she's Irish) even though that seems "wrong" to me in my accent.

I was confused earlier thinking it was a choice between Hel-len (which I don't say) and Hellin/Hellun which I thought were closer.

Now I realise it's Hel- schwa-n that I use. Which is fine! Obvious 'Hel-lin' with emphasis on the 'lin' might annoy me, but slight variants on Hel-in/un/schwa-n, I can't be bothered to get annoyed with.

I have a very, very traditional very common in the 70s name and all the way through secondary school my female maths teacher insisted on calling me Teresa. She never once called me by my proper name. I hated Maths! She knew my name perfectly well and of course i never said anything you just didn't back then, that's what she called me so that's who I was Never really thought about it back then but it makes me laugh now. It wasn't I mispronunciation of my name, it was a completely different one.
On the subject, DH has called the bloke who cleans our cars Dave for the past 3 years and we recently found out that's not his name and nor does his real name even resemble Dave

shock - I think you haven't read the whole thread. OP has admitted that she doesn't say hell-enne, but hell-un. The issue is between Hell-un and Hell-in, which many people are arguing is simply a matter of accent rather than the PIL purposefully pronouncing the name incorrectly.

The linguist has spoken: YABU Yeh! I think my in laws should make an effort to just try to say my name correctly as I said before. I am Jane. They can't be bothered to even try to pronounce Jane and call me Jeanne instead - a French name, which doesn't belong to me. Now that's actually quite rude. But do I waste my energy on complaining to them? Nooooo life's too short and enough requests to make an effort have been made. Blissful ignorance is what they prefer. Does it piss me off sometimes? Yes. Did I choose a name, for DD that they couldn't bastardise? Yes. But at the end of the day, I'm not going to loose sleep over it.

Pretty sure most Kiwis would say pen and pin to sound exactly the same.

Think how stupid Heavin sounds and that's how much Hellin grates on me

I say Heavin and I pronounce pen-pen and pin-pin. I am a Geordie by birth but have lived in e.mids for 20+ years.

Hmm, all the pronunciation guides seem to describe a schwa as, "uh"?

So Helun is the correct pronunciation. TBH Op I think it is just an accent thing and not deliberate - and unless you are a good mimic copying a different accent sounds really off.

shock You're on a hiding to nothing here. People just don't know the IPA
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Phonetic_Alphabet and can't describe easily what they mean.

Pen as pen pin as pin. But the op is not asking g us to say Helen with a strong emphasis sound in pen. I can pronounce Helen like that but it takes so.e effort and sounds odd. There have been several Scottish people on here that have said it sounds more like an i sound but again not quite as pronounced as in pin. It is shorter and would probably be classed as a schwa just not sound ding exactly like you do.

And I do know the frustration of hearing your name in different accents. I used to live in Aberdeen and my name sounds hideous with an Aberdonian accent. But I don't correct it because it's just the way they talk.

'My mother was a Scottish Helen. A woman who hated her called her Hellin, my dad called her Ellen and everyone else the Scottish Hell-en
Sounds like your ILs just don't like you that much.'

I don't think that's true, derxa. The first time I heard the Hellin pronunciation was a friend of mums talking about her much-loved first grandchild. I'm sure the pils call every Helen the same whether they like them or not.

'On the subject, DH has called the bloke who cleans our cars Dave for the past 3 years and we recently found out that's not his name and nor does his real name even resemble Dave'

Was it Rodney, by at chance?

I'm sure the pils call every Helen the same whether they like them or not.
They've been told not to call this one Hell-en for 20 years. Maybe they're just digging in their heels. I agree that they should use their own pronunciation though. It's one of the major problems of our time.

'I have a name that people often get wrong actually, but it completely changes it when they do - think Julie instead of Julia. At least people say the right word with Helen.'

I feel your pain, Pike. My friend Diana ad I regularly commiserate with each other about this. Especially after they've managed to type your email address [email protected] and start the email Dear Julie.

Oh I really feel for you, if someone has told you that their name is said X way and not the way they say it, I find it rude.

I have 3 friends called Helen and that's the way I say it. I've never been in the company of anyone saying Hell-in. I can see why that would grate.

My name is Naomi (pronounced Nay-oh-me), but all my life most people have said Ny-oh-me. Due to this, people always spell it as they say it. I've corrected people (with no change from them), but I have given up now as i'd spend all my time correcting people and looking like an arse (it does bother me though).

The odd person says 'Naya-me', but that's rare. A woman I worked with did, but everyone else said it correctly. Do people really not hear the difference?

I know with certain accents it's pronounced differently. My family are N. Irish, and in their accent it comes out like Ny-oh-meh. Obviously I don't mind that.

Oops that turned into a bit of a rant, sorry OP!

I'm Rhiannon, most people call me Rhi. I don't like it, despite introducing myself with the shortened name because it's easier than the inevitable "Rianna? Like the singer? Are you sure?" course I'm fucking sure I tried stressing the -non part, which changes the pronunciation of it slightly, just to avoid the arguments but it seldom works.

My sister is Olwen. Goes by Oz because she was sick of people telling her "Owen is a boys name". I'm West Country, living in the South East but find myself pronouncing Olwen in quite a heavy Welsh way, which strangely does seem to work and I only get about 491737 questions about the origins of our names instead.

I have a Danish friend who cannot pronounce the V in my name. They just can't- it comes out as a W.
I'd love to see the reaction i came on here and said "AIBU to insist my foreign friend pronounces my English name properly"

Some people can not hear the difference between different pronunciations.

They've been told not to call this one Hell-en for 20 years Hell-in FFS
I'm getting muddled now