to want in laws to correctly pronounce my very ordinary name?

[DrSeuss]

I have a very ordinary, English-of-Greek-origin name. Spelled in the traditional way, couldn't e simpler, really.
For over twenty years, ILs have mispronounced it. For twenty years, I and my husband have periodically corrected them. Not a huge thing, granted but it grates every time they say it wrongly.

AIBU to slightly mispronounce their names just a little, e.g. Sarah becomes Sorah, Jim becomes Jom? Childish, I know, but it is pretty much the only thing I have asked of them in twenty years! Other family members ask for and receive special food despite having no real grounds for this or meals served at a particular time despite having no children. I'd just like them to say my name without me mentally wincing!

Cheryl/sheryl is different as ch and sh are different choices in every accent I can think of.

Tanya or tarrrnya is pronunciation. I do not pronounce a as arrrr. It would sound ridiculous if I did (not least because my accent is rhotic). Any Tanya annoyed by the short a when I say it is being a ridiculous, precious flower.

San-dra and Sa-rn-dra. My southern accent prefers the latter but I have a friend who is definitely the former. I use the former as that is the polite thing to do. Don't get me started on Hel-en-a and Hel-Ay-na.

Any Tanya annoyed by the short a when I say it is being a ridiculous, precious flower

I would love to introduce you to a former colleague who was very big on her long an. And the "yah" at the end of course. Taarrnyah

I did have a 'friend' at school who insisted on calling me Nelly after her Mother had informed her it was the common pet name for Helen's 🙄

Is it how John Hannah pronounces gwyneth paltrows name helen in sliding doors?

I'm a hell in person but always thought the way he said her name was odd.

I never knew there were different helen peonounciations until this thread.

As for Helena I never know which one to use!

I too got called Nelly as a kid. Don't mind it actually. I always wanted a name you could shorten

Often got called H too - still do now.

I also get called Mrs Surname (lots of clients call me that for some reason!), darling, mom, mommy, Our 'El, a nickname based on my maiden name, lots of things. In fact, now I think of it, very few people call me by my actual name

Do you say brokin instead of broken and fallin instead of fallen

Yes!

I've watched the YouTube and I'm no wiser! My mouth literally won't say Hel-len.

I'm a Karen, and as a Scot I say my own name as Kah-rin. My NI friend calls me Karn, and Americans say it like Kern. I can't imagine correcting them as it's their accent, not a misunderstanding of what my name is.

Hel-in here too, I'm afraid. I'm still trying to work out if that makes me Scottish or posh.

I can almost manage Hel-en but it requires immense concentration and I can only say it in a sinister drawl which would make your blood curdle.

I'm avoiding all Helen's after this thread

These threads always end up with a lot of Scottish people saying we say it like this and a load of people with English accents not believing it.
My accent could best be described as generic Scots. My pronunciation is closest to the in sound. Ds1 wants to know who Helen and Claire are I've been saying them over and over since last night.
You could all get as pissed off at my pronunciation as you liked but you'd think I was taking the piss if I tried to change it because it wouldn't come naturally.

Incidentally although I say the R in Charlotte I can here the more English version in my head it's more an ah sound than the a in shallot.

You do have the option of my absolutely favourite of all time shortening- Nell............

Eh? Why is OP now cheering for the schwa when she's previously said it should be pronounced not with a schwa but to rhyme with hen?

I may have to have another lie down.

Puppy - maybe she didn't know the existence of the schwa before this thread and the e in hen was the closest alternative. I don't think I would have known about the schwa if I hadn't done some phonetics / linguistics.

Traditional Scottish shortening of Helen is Ellen, which leaves us exactly no further on, pronounciation wise.

I have a 2 syllable name - pronounced by me with the sress on the first syllable and by my (now sadly Ex) Dp's family with the stress on the second.

Americans put the stress onthe second syllable. That's how they say a fairly common name.

I work in an international environment - my name is variously pronounced and I love it.

I have absolutely no idea what a schwa is or what you're supposed to do with one.
I gather from this thread it's some sort of linguistics term but that's not leaving me much wiser.

Mrs Joey - it's a vowel sound which is pronounced 'er' and is unstressed.

In the dictionary it's an upside down e

It's in a huge number of words in English

Arrange (the first a)
Rubber (the er)
Amelia (the first and last a)
The (the e)

Etc. It's one of the things which make English words hard to spell.

My accent means I'd say Hel-un, broken, fall-un etc. If it's accent related I'd ignore it. I never correct the lady I work with who has a thick Indian accent when she pronounces my name differently.

Puppymonkey, what Herds said. I think op just didn't quite know how to explain it originally, as I thought she was using some really fancy frenchified pronunciation. Later clarification suggests she is just saying it normally whereas her mil puts a definite 'in' on the end. I don't think it is a regional thing; the first person I heard say it that way was from Devon, the archbishop who married the wessexes was from east London. While op finds it irritating, I don't think there is a bid enough difference to keep correcting the mil.

She was quite quite definite that it should rhyme with hen though. If she supported the schwa (even without quite knowing the term), she would have said it should rhyme with, I dunno, melon.

The whole hen thing has given me a really sleepless night.

"She was quite quite definite that it should rhyme with hen though."

Yes, but the admitted later that she'd made a mistake. These threads just show how we all need to be using phonetics symbols if we're going to write about how to pronounce something - it's so difficult to explain a sound in writing. Add to that all the confusion you get when people add an 'r' to make a longer 'a' when they don't mean an 'r' sound at all.

Oh phew I'm so relieved.

OK, to summarise, I may or may not be being pedantic/precious, accents differ, it may or may not be rude to not take the trouble to say someone's name in their preferred manner. So that was productive! But entertaining.

I think a few of you knew exactly what I meant, mostly the who share my name.

I was about to say the same OP

The people who don't like the Hellin pronounciation are generally called, guess what, Helen.

The rest of the world thinks that Helens need to get a fucking grip for not liking their name pronounced Hellin.

Obviously all Helens are stuck up pedantic idiots with no other worries in their lives and the rest of the world is right about how to pronounce their name

Hmm. The way you've framed that last post suggests you're not really listened to what anyone has said.

If you MiL was called Helen, how would you pronounce her name?