to want in laws to correctly pronounce my very ordinary name?

[DrSeuss]

I have a very ordinary, English-of-Greek-origin name. Spelled in the traditional way, couldn't e simpler, really.
For over twenty years, ILs have mispronounced it. For twenty years, I and my husband have periodically corrected them. Not a huge thing, granted but it grates every time they say it wrongly.

AIBU to slightly mispronounce their names just a little, e.g. Sarah becomes Sorah, Jim becomes Jom? Childish, I know, but it is pretty much the only thing I have asked of them in twenty years! Other family members ask for and receive special food despite having no real grounds for this or meals served at a particular time despite having no children. I'd just like them to say my name without me mentally wincing!

Your name is indeed very ordinary, but most people who spell your name the way you do, pronounce it the way your pils do

I dispute "most people". It's got 2 "e"s not an e and an i. I pronounce it Helen, with the e sound in the 2nd syllable roughly that of the e sound in Len, although I stress the first syllable. I know plenty of Helens.

It sound as if you pronounce your name like the French Helene with the stress on the second syllable (but no silent 'h') which is quite unusual

No, it's just Helen, see above, with two "e"s, how it's spelled. And it's not unusual to pronounce it that way, it's just that you haven't heard it that often.

And as a friend of mine called Helen said, it may be an ordinary name, but Helens are not ordinary people.

Other family members ask for and receive special food despite having no real grounds for this or meals served at a particular time despite having no children

Hmm. I was with you until you said this, OP, then I wasn't sure. I'm pescetarian and I'm sure some people would think there aren't "real grounds" for this. And I don't have children but I much prefer to eat my main meal before 8pm or I get tired and grumpy.

It's not difficult is it?

For those who can't say it the way the OP prefers - how would you pronounce Ellen?

I think I would struggle to pronounce it Hel-len, it sounds too over stretched and just wrong.

Both Helin and Helun sound normal to me.

Hell-en sounds bizarre to me. I've never heard anyone say it like that!

It's always been more of a hellun/helen middle ground but there's no stress on the second syllable. It sounds awkward to my ear

For those who can't say it the way the OP prefers - how would you pronounce Ellen?

Ell-un

Stress on the first syllable. Certainly not
Ell-en

For posters saying they can't tell the difference between 'Helen' and 'Hel-in' try saying 'en' as in hen and 'in'. Totally different!

No, they aren't totally different. The difference is miniscule and someone like me would have to sit in a perfectly quiet room with no background noise to concentrate hard and have even a 50% chance of telling them apart. And neither are Hellun or Hellon noticeably different.

If the OP's ILs were calling her Sandra, then OP would have something to complain about. I think the time to correct this, if it mattered that much to OP, was 20 yrs ago.

I'd pronouce Ellen the way you hear Ellen Degeneres say her name, so Ell-un. (but say the 'un' quickly without much emphasis).

It's usually pronounced, at least where I live with a 'schwa', the most common vowel sound in English. So I'd say 'I've giv-n Hel-n th- froz-n b-nana,' and all the - are the same sound.

XH's aunt had never heard my name before and its not that unusual, if not that common, although it does have a slightly different spelling, as in one letter not there. So she insisted that my name was made up and called me something completely different. Yet my mother, who had the same name, got called correctly by her's. I hated the aunt and was highly relieved when she dropped me when we separated.

The food thing is totally personal taste. No religious reasons, no vegitarianism, no medical grounds. An example, I was told I could serve fruit with Greek yoghurt, fruit with meringue but not fruit with Greek yoghurt and meringue. I could serve chicken breast but not legs. Casseroles were to have liquid no more than half way up the dish. Milk must be full fat. Butter must be unsalted. Cheese was to be Cheddar only. So, I get told that these are required, I eat anything served to me even if I think it's horrible but must be repeatedly addressed by a name form I hate. Can anyone see why I might get pissed off?

Oh, and we have been correcting this for twenty years, we haven't just done it now!

It seems a bit much to hate a version of your name which is the usual pronounciation and sounds the same to a lot of people, yes.

But that food stuff is bonkers. What happens if you ignore it?

For Sandy:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mammy_archetype

Is anyone else frowning at the keyboard and muttering HelEN, HellIN, HellUN...

fast in whose world is Hellin the usual pronunciation of Helen?

Do you say brokin instead of broken and fallin instead of fallen? No, I didn't think so.

Someone mentioned Carolyn/Caroline earlier. Yes, this is the kind of name that YWNBU to get annoyed about if your parents in law got wrong.

But if you were called Caroline and you in laws pronounced it in a West Mids way (Caroloyne) or with a rhotic r (if you don't have one) or without (if you do) then you'd be rude and unreasonable to make a fuss about it.

They probably can't hear any difference. You're saying 'hel-en' and they're repeating it. As I said above I didn't realise my accent changes the 'oh' sound to 'ah' despite being able to tell the difference when others say 'oh' or 'ah' sounds

I don't really see how the two things are related. The name thing is no big deal. Get over it.

The food thing would be pretty annoying but it's a pretty simple choice between relax and just do what you know will make them happy, or do whatever you want to do and they can lump it.

fast in whose world is Hellin the usual pronunciation of Helen?

I thought we had moved on to saying it was hel-un that OP was objecting to which is this schwa thing which I'd never heard of but am totally using now

Fallen i pronounce as fallun. Not fall-en unless I want to sound like a drunk person trying to sound sober

When I started reading this thread I felt tremendous sympathy for you OP - I thought your pils must be making an awful hash of your name; but when I realised that you were making a huge fuss about Hel-en or Hel-in I just couldn't believe it.

Get over yourself, grow up and give it a rest.

OH MY GOD! This is my life

I detest being called Hellin. Drives me spare. I just interchange letters in their names until they stop. Joy becomes Jay. Tina becomes Tuna. Shirley becomes Shitley.