To want to shop my aunt for being a fucking vulture...

[Fatmomma86]

...but I don't even know if or how I can?

Background: My aunt A just died a few days ago in hospital.

My Dm, aunt B and aunt C took turns taking care of Aunt A for years. Though for a while aunts B&C were not allowed in her bungalow (Aunt A suspected them and one of their husbands of pilfering from her stashes on money) Dm tried to get her to put it all safe in a bank account but she still kept large amounts at home.

The rest of the family is angry at aunt B and aunt C for making her last days agony. She was on palliative care and had essentially been knocked unconscious with morphine. Her legs were ulcerated and the nurses had stopped dressing them to spare her the pain as she was near the end.

Aunts B and C went into hospital on her own once and made a huge fuss about the doctors trying to kill aunt A and how dare they not take care of her, prompting the doctor giving her something to bring her out of a coma.

Her last days were deeply unpleasant

Fast forwarding to today: Aunt B + C have produced a will. Essentially leaving everything bar a couple of bits to them and their husbands.

The thing is this will is scribbled on a piece of paper, in different coloured inks and also crossed out bits. Aunt B is emphasizing how this will is years old. Her and aunt C are 'witnesses' and executers.

There is a mention of lots of jewellery items on the will. Aunt B and Aunt C told my Dm they went to the bungalow to look for it but it's all gone now and they don't know where.

Dm knows there was an inexpensive necklace that aunt A wanted her to have for sentimental reasons that has apparently disappeared in to thin air.

There is no mention of a sizeable amount of money in the will that Aunt B and C claim aunt A 'wished' them to split. Only mention of money is three sets of £200 to their husbands and my Dm.

I've had Dm here in floods of tears this morning not knowing what to do. I've told her to go and get a copy of this 'will' but after that I'm not sure what it is we can do?

I know people say it all the time but it really isn't about the money, it's devastated my mum that her sisters have done this and I don't want the thieving fuckers to get away with it.

Oh my goodness.

Not wanting you to do anything is one thing, expecting you to go on holiday is quite another.

Ehy can't the Aunt & Uncle be uninvited??

I'd be disgusted with both my husband and mum tbh.

My husband wouldn't want to be anywhere near the aunt and tbh he wouldn't want to holiday with my mum either if she had put me in that position.

Some people will sweep anything under the carpet to keep up the false appearance of "unity and love" within families. Suspect your mum is one of those people.

Have a stay-at-home-camping-in-the-garden holiday; go on days out together; visit local places you would normally never go to.

But DON'T go with these thieving gits! You will not enjoy it, it will ruin the atmosphere, you will get the blame for the holiday being crap anyway and you may well say something in anger which causes even more trouble - especially if creepy uncle is trying to be friendly with your kids and get them to think he's a lovely person. It's just not worth it.

IF this is a genuine will, they won't mind taking it to a solicitor for verification. I bet if your mam had had a will leaving all to her, they would have challenged it quickly enough!

IF they are decent sisters, they would not mind sharing anyway - but that this has come out of the woodwork is very suspicious. Apologise to your mam but tell her you aren't gong to see her robbed and then smile sweetly at the people who stole from her. Say if they go on the holiday you can't - you're sorry, but you just can't as you wouldn't be able to watch her being patronised by the people who have shafted her without saying something, and you don't want to risk causing further ill-feeling.

I know it's cruel because it makes her choose between them and you, but as it is she's chosen anyway, hasn't she? It's her grandchildren's ultimate inheritance she's signing away, too (I know you don't think of it like that, but it is).

I know from experience that catering to people like this does not lead to them caring about you or being grateful to you or respecting you; they just take you for a mug. If they get away with this, it will eat away at you and at your mam (even if she might deny that it would), and you will not have a good relationship with them anyway. you would be better risking a clean (if acrimonious) break now and getting things out in the open. I can't believe that your deceased aunt would have ignored one sister - especially when that sister is the person who has done everything for her.

Your aunts obviously realise how important family is to your mam, and are playing on this.