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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to shop my aunt for being a fucking vulture...

103 replies

Fatmomma86 · 09/08/2016 09:55

...but I don't even know if or how I can?

Background: My aunt A just died a few days ago in hospital.

My Dm, aunt B and aunt C took turns taking care of Aunt A for years. Though for a while aunts B&C were not allowed in her bungalow (Aunt A suspected them and one of their husbands of pilfering from her stashes on money) Dm tried to get her to put it all safe in a bank account but she still kept large amounts at home.

The rest of the family is angry at aunt B and aunt C for making her last days agony. She was on palliative care and had essentially been knocked unconscious with morphine. Her legs were ulcerated and the nurses had stopped dressing them to spare her the pain as she was near the end.

Aunts B and C went into hospital on her own once and made a huge fuss about the doctors trying to kill aunt A and how dare they not take care of her, prompting the doctor giving her something to bring her out of a coma.

Her last days were deeply unpleasant Angry

Fast forwarding to today: Aunt B + C have produced a will. Essentially leaving everything bar a couple of bits to them and their husbands.

The thing is this will is scribbled on a piece of paper, in different coloured inks and also crossed out bits. Aunt B is emphasizing how this will is years old. Her and aunt C are 'witnesses' and executers.

There is a mention of lots of jewellery items on the will. Aunt B and Aunt C told my Dm they went to the bungalow to look for it but it's all gone now and they don't know where.

Dm knows there was an inexpensive necklace that aunt A wanted her to have for sentimental reasons that has apparently disappeared in to thin air.

There is no mention of a sizeable amount of money in the will that Aunt B and C claim aunt A 'wished' them to split. Only mention of money is three sets of £200 to their husbands and my Dm.

I've had Dm here in floods of tears this morning not knowing what to do. I've told her to go and get a copy of this 'will' but after that I'm not sure what it is we can do?

I know people say it all the time but it really isn't about the money, it's devastated my mum that her sisters have done this and I don't want the thieving fuckers to get away with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fatmomma86 · 09/08/2016 10:45

The two aunts and my mum all had keys to the bungalow.

We could prove that the two aunts have entered the bungalow a couple of times (camera outside) but not that they have taken anything. Except that it's gone.

OP posts:
Benedikte2 · 09/08/2016 10:48

You should notify the bank that aunt has died and the accounts will be frozen until the bank receives documentary evidence re who is entitled to operate the accounts.
Unless she owned her house and there is money in the bank then it may be too expensive to contest the "will" -- you say all the cash and jewellery has disappeared.

IthoughtATMwasacashpoint · 09/08/2016 10:57

Probate has to be granted on a Will, either in person or through a Solicitor, before the estate can be distributed. If they were ransacking the house just after the death it is definitely illegal.

springydaffs · 09/08/2016 10:58

oh your poor mum Sad Flowers

Sadly, this is far from unusual. I've heard of it many times - family who become vultures overnight when there's an indistinct inheritance in the offing.

So sad for your mum Flowers

SawdustInMyHair · 09/08/2016 10:59

Echoing what others have said, but when I did my will, my solicitor was very clear that the witness could not be a beneficiary OR married to a beneficiary.

IthoughtATMwasacashpoint · 09/08/2016 10:59

This is a link to the Government website which explains it all.

www.gov.uk/wills-probate-inheritance/applying-for-a-grant-of-representation

Tokenjester · 09/08/2016 11:00

Get your mum to check her household insurance too, quite often people have cover for legal fees included. Good luck - it is an awful thing to have to deal with in your time of grief but sod it - I had similar when my father died & step mother attempted to divert funds & deny my siblings and me what my Dad wanted us to have. It all got very messy & as a result am nc with lots of my family - prepare to lose relationships but gain the knowledge that you are doing the right thing. Vulnerable people's wishes should be protected even after death.

Timetogetup0630 · 09/08/2016 11:03

Do you have a death certificate ?
You need to contact the banks who hold your Aunts accounts and get them frozen so no one can access the money.

If there is a more recent Will then that one will override the scribbled piece of paper. The Probate office will not accept the scribbled bit of paper as a legitimate will.
Sorry for your loss and the hassle you are having to deal with. This could take months to resolve.

Mummaaaaaah · 09/08/2016 11:06

so sorry for you and your poor mum. I am always truly surprised at the despicable depths people will sink to. But they do. Big bunch of Flowers

Lovewineandchocs · 09/08/2016 11:07

They'll have to get probate and this won't be granted with an invalid will. A witness can't be a beneficiary or the spouse of a beneficiary. I'd seek legal advice asap and contact the bank to get the accounts frozen. Look through any paperwork to see if there is any indication of your aunt having gone to a solicitor to make a will. Any solicitor you instruct should advertise in certain legal publications to see if any solicitors' firm would have your aunt's will. If this is not found within a certain period then she will be found to have died intestate and all assets will be divided between next of kin. Flowers sorry for your loss.

Netflixandchill · 09/08/2016 11:10

I don't have any legal advice but I'm so
Sorry you are going through this.

Luckily with the loss of my grandad everyone clubbed together and sorted through his things sharing memories and deciding amongst themselves who got what.

When we lost my aunt very suddenly to cancer, she had some photos and jewellery that her husband (quite new on the scene) deicded he wanted to keep and actually threatened to destroy out of spite. He got everything financially but wanted the sentimental things to, for no reason other than power and spite.

When I hear stories like this it never surprises me how cruel people can be when money is concerned.

Alicebannedit · 09/08/2016 11:13

If your aunt didn't have a solicitor that doesn't mean she hasn't made a proper legal will.

I made a will about 15 years ago on a form that could be bought from a large stationery retailer. I was very careful to follow the instructions and named executors (my daughter and my sisters) and had it witnessed by a couple of neighbours (both of whom have since died). I then kept a copy and formally lodged the original with the official place in London (cannot remember the name and address now but it was in the instructions and if helpful I would try to find out for you). I was sent an official receipt.

My point in telling you this is that if your aunt had followed the same track, even though no solicitor was involved, then by writing directly to where her official will might be deposited in London, and obtaining a copy, could prove a way forward.

I'm so sorry you and your mother have been treated this way, and can only hope things get resolved without too much further distress Flowers

notapizzaeater · 09/08/2016 11:26

Money brings out the 'best' in people - I'd get your dm to get legal advice and send them a letter telling them to return the missing goods,

TheNaze73 · 09/08/2016 11:40

How grabby????

Seek independent legal advice ASAP. This just sounds wrong

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/08/2016 12:02

That sounds awful. You've had some great advice. Do you have a photo of the necklace? Perhaps your aunt wearing it.

Original poster
Fatmomma86 · 09/08/2016 12:02

It's disgusting.

I've struck them off the wedding invites list with Dm's blessing. They'll be a huge fuss and I know for a fact certain people will want me to 'keep the peace' but fuck them.

Obviously would never make a scene at the funeral, I think the family that cared about aunt A have been through enough.

But I'm not hiding my disgust with them and what they are doing.

I'm going to see if Dm will shift on the seeking advice after the funeral later.

Can't wait to get a glimpse of this will, I need a laugh.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fatmomma86 · 09/08/2016 12:03

I think there may be photos of the necklace.

Aunt also had a couple of pearl necklaces that were to be shared out.

Guess what? They've disappeared too.

OP posts:
originalmavis · 09/08/2016 12:07

From what I know of Will's - not a lawyer but have run some up for clients - the Will that they have produced is not legal. You can't be a witness if you are a beneficiary. I would be very tempted to hand it over to a lawyer to have a look at and decide if it is a criminal act of deception.

NPowerShitShower · 09/08/2016 12:15

A) the will isn't valid
B) inform the police if effects of the deceased have been stolen

liquidrevolution · 09/08/2016 12:18

Get a shit hot solicitor, freeze the bank accounts and change the locks...

This needs to be done now, not in a weeks time.

Kez437 · 09/08/2016 12:27

I am a solicitor and I can tell you for a fact that this will is not valid. You cannot be a witness and a beneficiary as everyone else has said. This so called 'will' they are referring to may as well have been written on a balloon and sent into the sky. Also (not that it matters because the will is basically non-existent) leaving it to their husbands is considered to their benefit so that wouldn't work even if the will was valid.

If your Aunt has not left a will then the estate goes through the Inheritance Rules which are set in legislation and effectively (if my recall serves me right) should split the estate evenly in this case between all sisters.

This is not my area of expertise but you need to go to a solicitor promptly and you need to make efforts to secure the rest of the property from pilfering. Anything that is in that house is currently in limbo as there is no will and so you are all equally entitled to it. That is if there are no criminal sanctions against Aunt B and C. If the Police were to search their home would they find the jewelry etc?

Cherylene · 09/08/2016 12:31

Is her bungalow owned?

You need to register a copy of the death certificate with all building societies/ banks immediately.

Make an appointment with a firm of solicitors with a reasonably sized probate department and take her there for advice. She does not have to do anything but she needs to listen to someone who knows what she should be doing, then take action asap.

MadamDeathstare · 09/08/2016 12:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EweAreHere · 09/08/2016 12:52

It's invalid base don what you've said, if it's even 'real'. I suspect it's fraudulent from start to finish, a creative product of Aunts B and C.

Sorry, OP. But get a solicitor and think about turning them into the police if it's fraud.

PaulDacreCuntyMcCuntFace · 09/08/2016 12:55

Get the locks changed TODAY and see a solicitor ASAP.

So sorry for your DM Flowers