To ask your favourite Limericks/rhymes?

[Fishface77]

My son has summer home work. He had to choose 3 limericks or rhymes then create his own. It got me thinking, the only ones I know are filthy!
Eg, Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have some hanky panky,
Jill forgot to take the pill and now they've got little Frankie.

Or

Mary had a little lamb it always kept gruntin'
She put it on the garden fence and kicked the little cunt in.

I know. Not good.

There once was a bloke whose name was Dick
Who had, poor fellow, a spiral prick.
He spent many years in a desperate hunt
Looking for a woman with a corkscrew cunt.

Until at last, in far Glamorgan
He heard of a lady with just such an organ . . .

On his wedding night he collapsed stone dead
When he found that his wife had a left-hand thread.

Andrew

There was a young man from China,
Who was a great mountain climber.
He slipped on a rock
And cracked his cock
And now he's got a vagina.

There once were two young girls from Birmingham
And this is the story concerning them.
They lifted the frock
And diddled the cock of the bishop
As he was confirming them.

Now the bishop was nobody's fool
For he'd been to a good public school,
So he dropped down his britches
And did for those bitches
With his ten inch episcopal tool.

Now that didn't bother those two
And they said as the bishop withdrew
"The vicar is quicker and slicker and thicker
And longer and stronger than you!"

(Maybe not for homework).

Or the one-verse version

There was an old Bishop of Birmingham
Who deflowered three maids while confirming 'em.
As they knelt seeking God
He excited his rod
And pumped the episcopal sperm in 'em.

A man stood on a bridge one night,
His lips were all a-quiver.
He gave a cough,
His leg fell off
And floated down the river.

Filthy stuff

Andrew

They strolled the lanes together
The night was studded with stars
They reached the gate in silence
For her he lifted the bars
She raised her brown eyes to him
There was nothing between them now
For he was only a Farmer's boy
And she was a Jersey cow.