To want to get back on?

[Santander1]

Ok. I'm not a regular poster on here but I wanted some opinions on my dilemma from some people who a) are not my loved ones, and b) do not ride horses.

It goes like this. I have broken my back falling off my horse. Sounds pretty dramatic but in reality is one lumbar wedge fracture, L1. I'm being treated conservatively with a brace, and I'm feeling ok.

I'm married with three children, 21, 8 and 9.

I have ridden all my life and I know exactly why what happened happened, it was a 'duhhhh' moment where I only had myself to blame for the horse becoming exuberant and bucking me off. He'd bucked with me a couple of times when I first bought him, for the same reasons - overfed, underexercised, I was rushing, etc. But this time I had an unlucky dispatch.

My husband, who does not ride, has decided that I must not get back on this horse ever again. He is of the opinion that it will happen again, which I understand. However I have completely changed his circumstances, moved him to a quieter place, I'm having him intensively trained also. Added to that I do not intend to get back on until the wedge fracture is healed sufficiently to withstand another fall if that should happen. I feel that I am an intelligent woman who can make her own decisions about how to take this moving forward. I understand that I have a responsibility to my family to stay safe, but I feel I can do so without being so drastic as to give up on this horse. I have become quite attached to the animal also.

However, my husband will not listen to any of my reasoning and is steadfastly refusing to give any blessing for me to get back on again. He says I would be very selfish to do so. I have assured him that I will be incredibly cautious, I will wear an air jacket, etc. But I absolutely want to continue with this horse, who was a project for me and had been coming along nicely before this happened.

So obviously my question is, am I being unreasonable to want to carry on where I left off, albeit way more cautiously?

I am feeling very controlled at the moment, and it is damaging our relationship.

I would appreciate your honest opinions.

Do you think your husband would accept an assessment of the horse by a behaviourist e.g. Richard Maxwell after he has completed his current training?

It might be helpful for you too. Horses are not usually malevolent, but they can very easily learn antisocial, even dangerous behaviour which can become a habit very quickly.

I'm sure you have had him checked by a vet, chiropractor, farrier and equine dentist to make sure that pain isn't the cause of the bucking

Sorry, pressed post too early. It might also be an idea to have his tack, rugs etc checked by a good saddler.

OP- as you are going to be out of action for a while, I assume you'll have someone else schooling/ exercising the horse for now anyway?

Could you get/pay someone to ride him for you whilst you're broken, with the condition that so long as he doesn't do anything too naughty with that person, you can get back on him?

Can you promise to lunge him before you get on in future (for a while) etc? Anything to put his mind at rest?

If this was DP I would hate it if he wanted to carry on.

But... It is his life and I would want him to be happy doing what he wanted to do so reluctantly I agree with you