To think that my next door neighbour is a twat of the highest order.

[Cocolepew]

He has been out with his fucking petrol mower since 6.50.
He has a tiny garden but is still out.
I might have to kill him.
Wanker.

Salmostrutta for some reason I was at my mum's house the other day and mentioned a cockerel in a suburban area wasn't on... She didn't think it was that offensive until I told her...

Her NDN have 2 DC who practise recorder loudly (and piano).

My little brother many years ago had a violin but he was never that good at it and I think lost interest much to the neighbours relief

Ilove air rifle (only kidding really!) is the only cure for your neighbours yapping dog!

Seriously why buy the bloody dog if they know it will yap (always research your breed!) but then also why move it outside so you can hear it??!!

Any reason why it's yapping so much Lately or is just yappy?

My neighbours yappy mini pin dog only yaps if strangers come to the door, cats go in the garden or foxes. Good burglar deterrent though!

You have a labrador and 40 bags of crisps still intact in the same room??

80 bags, there is now 2 boxes.
Scary dog is very good and never eats what she isn't given. Shes only half lab.
Maybe thats why?

Crikey. Zombie's house sits on a plot of approximately 2/3rds of an acre. There are 5 separate lawned areas including one that is elevated and needs the mower pushed up a scaffolding board to reach. The lad who mows it for her can do the job and do it well in about half an hour. He does stripes and everything.

Leylandii is your answer. If you use it to form the border between properties there is a (long, drawn out) process for neighbours to have them trimmed and maintained, but a foot back from the border and there's literally nothing they can do (without committing criminal damage).

Your twatty neighbour sounds like he might be related to my twatty NDN. On the only hot day last summer, when we had hoped to be able to enjoy some time in the garden, he spent the entire day pressure washing his patio. It's the size of my kitchen table. Twat.

Sounds like he's an early riser. I assume he goes to bed early? Maybe you could start cutting your grass at 9:00pm

Maybe theres a Twatty Neighbour Forum where they all swap ideas.
Unfortunately Coxy he stays up past one, I can hear his tv.
Last night he woke me sneezing at half one. He must have been sneezing through a megaphone