To think that my next door neighbour is a twat of the highest order.

[Cocolepew]

He has been out with his fucking petrol mower since 6.50.
He has a tiny garden but is still out.
I might have to kill him.
Wanker.

I would suggest that you take up either the trombone or the bagpipes (in fact - why don't you and DH do a duet; get the kids involved with their recorders and violins). I suggest practising between 10.00pm and 6.00 am (take it in shifts). That way you won't selfishly disturb anyone who is trying to mow their lawn during the day. You may even be nominated for a "Good Neighbour Award".

tesco sell really cheap recorders for about £2-3 they are going to be less well tuned I imagine.

DD likes to blare her music, maybe I should stop telling her to turn it down?
Though judging by how loud his tv is, I'm fairly certain he's going deaf.

Could still be well worth passing on as much info as possible to the council (anonymously if you prefer) if it turns out he hasn't declared the house or any other assets and she had her care paid for (which seems quite likely going off what you've said) they can still claw it back retrospectively or put a charge on his property.
It might result in him having to sell up and you could end up with some new, nicer neighbours.

My friends neighbour works 6 days a week and every morning at 6am he starts up his diesel van and leaves it running for 15 minutes before driving off, her bedroom is filled with diesel fumes if she leaves a window open.

She has spoken to him about it and got the same "Need to warm the engine up first" reply.

I think you need a firepit so your teens can chill out in the garden. And a Bluetooth speaker.Encourage your neighbours to purchase one as well.

One of my neighbours has a wagon attached to his car, every morning at around 7-7:15 he disappears to wherever he's going and you can definitely hear him... The road surface is uneven so every bump, lump and pothole makes it sound worse. I'm pretty sure he wakes the entire street up!

DD has a very loud Bluetooth speaker….
DH has a motorbike he used to do the warming up malarky until I went mad, I'm sure the neighbours cursed him up and down.

FidBoy2 was doing things to his room this week. We found a ukulele. Missing a string.

And a balalaika I brought home from the good old CCCP/USSR. No bugger has ever got a tune out of it.

Happy to post

Cheers Fiderer
Im no longer going to stop my dog barking at him over the back fence.
I might train her to kill.

See the killer instinct just bubbling under the surface?

Not the scariest I've seen tbh. I have wild boar I'd happily ship over. They are scary fuckers

She does look ferocious.

Oh yes the boar
Still not got rid of it then? I would lend you scary dog but she's shit scared of everything.

No, not rid. But had deer this week so I reckon the boar have retreated/are on hols for now.

Am sure MN could come up with more creative solutions than the designated Village Hunter who suggested an electric fence I cannot afford.

A nest of vipers would be a good start

My twatty neighbour doesn't sound so bad now

Oo, you have a sideboard full of photos. That's Proper Grown Up, that is. Yes I ignored your nice shiny DDog and perved on the rest of your house

Err console table actually
Did you notice the box of 40 crisps in the background? Classy me.

Another vote for telling the Council about him living at this house, deliberate deprivation of assets is a crime and they are surprisingly tenacious at clawing back what people should have paid.
Think of it as justice for his treatment of his poor wife.

How would I prove it though?

You don't need to, just tell them you suspect it, they can pull his finances apart to see if it is true. As blankmind says, they can be very tenacious if they think they can get their hands on some cash.

I'd do it in a second.

Thing is though you cant believe a word he says. He told DH he had another house somewhere, 4 bedroomed detached blah blah, then DH saw him working as a cleaner in a gym.
I personally thing he was shacked up with a woman somewhere. He has always came back to the house and hes definitely living in it again now.

At one point he tied his brush to a piece of string and dangled it trying to paint.
It was highly amusing to watch.
As this was going on his girlfriend stood on the footpath staring into my front room. In the pouring rain.

Seriously?!? The images of that very bizarre situation has made my day!

Yes unfortunately I'm serious. His gf at the time was about two feet tall and six feet wide and wore leather trousers and a fluffy coat every day.
She looked like an angry emu.

Sod the rest of the thread and your problems!

Look at the beautiful dog.......

So beautiful ( I'm nearly at the point of doing doggy talk--who's a good doggy, you is you is) and I'm a scarey fucker