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Original poster

To turn your attention to this article **Trigger warning: Child abuse. Title edited by MNHQ**

503 replies

NedStarksHead · 03/08/2016 11:55

After a long and stressful debate/argument on FB, I'd like to turn your attention to these articles....

If you're one of the people who say "murder them all, they're all scum, they should be shot" then just read these and re-think.

Use different wording. A child molester is so different to a pedophile.

http://www.salon.com/2015/09/21/imaapedophilebuttnotaa_monster/

http://www.virped.org

OP posts:
HeddaLettuce · 06/08/2016 20:11

We wouldn't know, would we? And yes, some of us probably do, and have no clue.
But if they are non-offending, they aren't much of a threat. And surely you have steps in place to keep your children safe? Don't just assume you don't have a danger next door....

DixieNormas · 06/08/2016 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FinallyReportedHim2 · 06/08/2016 21:21

The idea that paedophiles are weird loners in macs having indecent thoughts about children they don't know playing in the park is so far off the mark it's dangerous.

The majority of child sex offences are typically committed by an adult male well known to the (usually) female child, such as a relation, a family friend or someone in a position of authority teacher/priest etc. Outside of their sex offending they are usually leading "normal" lives, often having wives/partners and children and holding down jobs. They are hiding in plain sight all around us. Paedophilia is no more a sexual orientation than the desire to rape an adult female is. It's all about power and control and the sexual gratification they get from that. It's about the choices of thoughts and behaviours. Yes they have a choice. It should not be normalised by calling it a sexual orientation.

Also the vast majority of victims of sex abuse do NOT go on to become abusers themselves - that is wrong and very hurtful to the victims of abuse.

Sorry my sympathy is very much with the innocent child victims of these criminals or thinking-about-being criminals, many of whom suffer life long consequences of the crimes committed against them.

Noonesfool · 06/08/2016 21:24

Finally you articulated that well.

EmmelineW · 06/08/2016 21:41

Do you think it's a choice to be attracted to children/rape/sex with animals, etc.? If not, what do you suggest they do about it? As obviously if they seek help they'll just be judged. I do not feel sorry for people who abuse children/rape people/rape animals, but surely the original thought they have is really sad? I'm not talking about the ones who want to develop that thought in their brain by purposely thinking about raping kids or ones who think it should be legal to have sex with children. I'm talking about the ones that you have probably never come across (the ones who are so horrified of their attraction that they end up killing themselves/harming themselves and develop further mental health problems and probably loads of people still don't know why they developed those as they are too horrified to admit it, that's fucking sad). They should be put on the register as a danger to children, as I think they are really, just like people make sure suicidal people are watched over, as they are a danger to themselves and I think they should get the help they need without being judged, I don't think the ones who offend should get the same treatment as of course you'll judge them, they've ruined lives, but like I say, I'm not on about those.

KeepitDown · 06/08/2016 21:50

I think it's a choice to pursue that attraction and inflame it.

Perhaps none of us can control our initial, fleeting thoughts/feelings. In which case, I am not in control of my feelings about paedophiles.

Sorry, being somewhat flippant again (trying to lighten the dark cloud this thread represents in my head!)

But in all seriousness, I don't see how feeling sorry, or empathising with paedophilic urges helps anyone. I don't think they need empathy from Joe public, I think they need professional help.

The public can be persuaded to contribute toward increasing awareness and help through their empathy for victims. There is no need for them to get 'into the mind' of a paedophile... it is not a safe place to be.

EmmelineW · 06/08/2016 22:31

What do you suggest happens to a 14 year old paedophile for example?

Cubtrouble · 07/08/2016 00:48

My suggestion would be counselling, chemical castration and removal from main stream school.

There needs to be something in place for this type of person who admits they have a problem, wants help and is prepared to get help. but those people need to know it's not ok. It's not accepted and will not be tolerated. Ever.

ghostspirit · 07/08/2016 01:08

my abuser was also abused and went on to abuse me. im not saying it makes it ok. but i cant kind of understand. it does not make it right its 100% wrong.. but if someone hurt you that much in that kind of way why do it to someone else..

i do think them sort of thoughts are wrong. but i guess people cant choose what thoughts come into their head. but they can control them and choose not to act on them thoughts.

SpecialAgentFreyPie · 07/08/2016 01:33

Will go back and RTFT but how can I have empathy for this guy?

I should point out that the men in my life, including my father, were gruff blue-collar types who could intimidate me. Hans was different: gentle, soft-spoken and appealingly awkward—a lot like me!

He talks poorly about the non paedos in his life and compares himself to the child molester..

I can have the tiniest bit of empathy for paedophiles who live with massive guilt, shame, get help and stay away from children.

This guy is demanding society feel sorry for him and stop using oh so hurtful language. To. Paedophiles. What. The. Actual. Fuck FFS how could anyone pity this guy?!

Will RTFT now.

mirime · 07/08/2016 11:29

Sounds like grooming SpecialAgent. Not read the article, but from your quote Hans befriended this person, offered them understanding they maybe felt they weren't getting elsewhere and then abused them.

EmmelineW · 07/08/2016 12:10

Chemically castrated? You do realise you don't need a dick to be a paedophile?

BertrandRussell · 07/08/2016 13:09

What would be the bench mark for chemical castration?

minatiae · 07/08/2016 18:09

I have empathy because it's not a choice. It's a sexual orientation they can't help it

I haven't RTFT but I find this disgusting. it's not a sexual orientation. It just isn't. I have no empathy or sympathy for someone who lacks basic human morality to the extent where they have such awful feelings about a child. none at all. and I'm tired of people being so politically correct that we're expected to accept horrible things and defend them in the name of not offending people. What's next? Actually I'm not sure what can be next. defending paedophiles is the lowest of the low.

Cubtrouble · 08/08/2016 00:12

Chemical castration reduces sexual urges. It has nothing to do with the dick. I have no idea if the drug can treat women as well. I'm not a doctor but it's probably the only "medical" thing you can do to these people. You would still have to have consent but they might find it better than my alternative of being locked up.

Cubtrouble · 08/08/2016 00:16

Benchmark? You have someone who admits they are a nonce and goes looking for help. As part of that help they are given drugs to reduce their sexual urges.

These drugs are used in treatments for certain normal people medical conditions. Have a Google. It's a tablet, it's not smashing their nuts with a house brick.

BertrandRussell · 08/08/2016 08:00

Oh, right.

So do you insist on anyone who has been convicted of rape being chemically castrated as well? What about sexual assault short of rape? Looking at "young teen" porn?

SpecialAgentFreyPie · 08/08/2016 08:15

Whenever chemical castration comes up I always think of Alan Turing. Sad

Plus if a man gets mental pleasure out of hurting children/women, even if he can't use his cock he'll hurt them in other ways.

BoopTheSnoot · 08/08/2016 08:18

As I sit here cuddling my two year old and my 11 weeks old, I can't believe that this thread has even been allowed to continue.
How can one sympathise, in any circumstances, with someone who harbours sexual thoughts about children and infants?
It is not a sexual orientation, it's a preference, a fetish. It destroys lives, and regardless of the thought process surrounding it, I will never feel anything but disgust and contempt towards any person, man or woman, who finds children sexually attractive.

toptoe · 08/08/2016 08:54

Chemical castration is thought to reduce drive and impulse to act on sexual thoughts, although the overall effect on child abuse is largely unknown and theoretical. This is a recent American medical article on the subject of chemical castration www.medicaldaily.com/chemical-castration-sex-offenders-386339

Aeroflotgirl · 08/08/2016 08:57

Yes it is an illness, I have nothing for those who act on it, they are dirty and disgusting, but for those who do not, and who keep these feelings inside, they need to have professional help. Good on this man for admitting his feelings, and brave enough to write this article.but he needs now to go for help.

Aeroflotgirl · 08/08/2016 08:59

No it's not a sexual orientation, it's a mental.and psychological illness.

toptoe · 08/08/2016 09:02

I agree the first article posted by the op seeks to minimalise abuse. Children often minimalise the abuse that happens to them in order to cope with it. His 'peepee' reaction was him freezing with fear, but he seems to say that because he didn't run away it can't have been too bad. Unfortunately, this is a massive misunderstanding on his part. I wonder if he has reframed it in his mind due to his subsequent behaviour? I'd love to hear a pyschologist's opinion about that article.

SpecialAgentFreyPie · 08/08/2016 09:09

I think a lot of backs are up because that particular article is very 'poor me, why don't you understand my suffering and how BRAVE I am for not molesting children?' It wasn't a measured article. It was self pitying, insensitive and went into way too much detail about his preferences/turn ons (The halo of blonde hair on the seven year old?! That's as far as I got) If the article had been written from the POV that there's no help out there, I think though still disgusted; the replies would have been different.

prh47bridge · 08/08/2016 09:19

it's a preference

You appear to think that paedophiles choose to be attracted to children. That view flies in the face of all the available evidence. It is a disorder that emerges during or before puberty. There is evidence that it is linked to brain structure and function.

We tend to use the term "paedophile" to describe child sex abuse offenders. However, many child sex abuse offenders are not paedophiles (i.e. they are not strongly sexually attracted to children) whilst some paedophiles do not molest children nor do they consume child pornography.

As we see on this thread, people get angry about non-offending paedophiles and socially reject them. Some studies suggest that these attitudes discourage paedophiles from seeking help. It is possible (but by no means definite) that this increases the likelihood of them becoming child sex abusers. Note that there is no known cure but therapies are available which help paedophiles to control their behaviour.