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Original poster

To turn your attention to this article **Trigger warning: Child abuse. Title edited by MNHQ**

503 replies

NedStarksHead · 03/08/2016 11:55

After a long and stressful debate/argument on FB, I'd like to turn your attention to these articles....

If you're one of the people who say "murder them all, they're all scum, they should be shot" then just read these and re-think.

Use different wording. A child molester is so different to a pedophile.

http://www.salon.com/2015/09/21/imaapedophilebuttnotaa_monster/

http://www.virped.org

OP posts:
Rinoachicken · 04/08/2016 14:09

It is for the secure detention and treatment of people too dangerous to be in society. Most patients at Broadmoor have never committed a crime.

HeddaLettuce · 04/08/2016 14:12

Broadmoor is for men convicted of or accused of crimes (and deemed unfir to stand trial) who also have severe mental illness. What do YOU imagine its for?

Magikarp · 04/08/2016 14:14

Actually hedda a large proportion of Broadmoor patients have no criminal history. It's a secure hospital taking referrals from other places too.

seventimes · 04/08/2016 14:16

Patients in Broadmoor and other secure hospitals can be held under section 3 of the mental health act, rather than a forensic section. They do not have to be accused of any crime. Thoughts alone can justify this if they are assessed as being a risk to themselves or others.

StrawberryMummy90 · 04/08/2016 14:16

Hedda

I will say it again slowly...

IN AN IDEAL WORLD

obviously there are no rehab facilities for pedos!

Rinoachicken · 04/08/2016 14:16

Thank you Magikarp

HeddaLettuce · 04/08/2016 14:16

Large proportion? No, not thats not true. The vast majority are accused of or convicted of crimes.

Rinoachicken · 04/08/2016 14:17

And seven

Porcupinetree · 04/08/2016 14:17

OP you are the worst sort of apologist. I sincerely hope you are a troll.

seventimes · 04/08/2016 14:17

And on a side note, yes there are "rehab facilities for pedos". I would name a few but it would probably out me.

Magikarp · 04/08/2016 14:18

What's your source hedda? Have you visited? I've done advocacy work for patients there.

Some patients have a hospital order through the courts. A larger majority have been detained under the mental health act and the hospital is deemed the most appropriate unit for them.

HeddaLettuce · 04/08/2016 14:18

We don't live in ideal world. And if we did, it wouldn't be one if we locked people up for what they think about.

You really don't et it.

StrawberryMummy90 · 04/08/2016 14:25

Hedda

Oh god seriously, one minute your harping on about getting these people help, coming up with solutions etc..

Then when I suggest something that could help them and also, more importantly, protect the children. You moan about not living in an ideal world.

You are also admitting that you rather pedophiles not get help in a private facility, but be out and about and risk children's and babies safety.

You are sick. I seriously hope you have no young children. Vile.

Rinoachicken · 04/08/2016 14:26

No YOU don't get it Hedda

seventimes · 04/08/2016 14:27

Hedda, it isn't just 'thinking about it'. I'm not sure that you get this.

It isn't a passing thought of "oh that seven year old is hot". For men I know, it is obsessive, all-consuming, when detained they do things like get a newspaper, cut out images of models in swimwear, cut out the heads of children, and stick them onto of the adult model body (or sometimes the other way around depending on their preferences). They do this even at the cost of knowing they will be detained even longer if they get caught (which they often do). They think about it constantly, ways to get in contact with children. In in the community, they change their jobs to work with children. They move house to live next to a school. They befriend children. They try to arrange their 'leave' from hospital to co-incide with holiday times to increase their chances of seeing a child in passing. They try to quietly arrange visits to places in proximity to schools.They seek out other people who accept their 'preferences', to help them to justify it. They spend hours fantasising what they would like to do to children. They seek out DVDs that have scenes to aid their fantasy. Even if they don't touch a child, they are engaging in wildly deviant thoughts and behaviours, and unfortunately they do, on the whole, pose a risk to children.

StrawberryMummy90 · 04/08/2016 14:27

Magikarp

Thank you for sharing I had no idea places exist like this, although people like Hedda would still prefer they be out and about perving over babies.

StrawberryMummy90 · 04/08/2016 14:29

seven

No point trying to make her understand it's like talking to a brick wall. She doesn't care about the risk to children, just the pedophiles freedom.

BertrandRussell · 04/08/2016 14:29

" people like Hedda would still prefer they be out and about perving over babies."

That is such a stupid thing to say!

Fourfifthsof · 04/08/2016 14:29

I am assuming that everyone who has read this and agrees with the OP would happily let their kids be around this man because he 'hasn't done anything'...

BertrandRussell · 04/08/2016 14:30

"She doesn't care about the risk to children, just the pedophiles freedom."
And that is an outrageous thing to say!

Amithatmum · 04/08/2016 14:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WetPaint4 · 04/08/2016 14:42

Sounds to me like the OP is saying maybe we can find a way to help these people before they offend rather than deciding they're all molesters and beyond help. Part of me can see that, plus if they feel they can come forward before they do the wrong thing, not only can they receive help but surely they can also be monitored closely.

I think it's an interesting point but this thread gives a glimpse as to the reality when dealing with paedophiles. Most people didn't consider the OP's actual words, they just got angry, re-wrote the OP's opinion in their own heads and argued with that version instead. The other part of me kneejerked a little too. I share the same fearful views as society in general when it comes to paedophiles and that's what takes over. I consider that response natural because none of us can understand paedophilia. Most of us wake up everyday with normal desires. We can't understand living with a need so strong and so sick and so disgusting, something you can't fix or change.

I just don't think it's realistic to think we can be any different. What would we have to do as a society for a paedophile to feel safe enough to confess to being one? Would any of us want to work with one? Employ one? Go into the coffee shop where one of them works? Course not, we'd be sickened. Right now, such a confession would almost certainly lead to serious injury or death. What would have to change for a paedophile to come forward and say "I'm a paedophile, please help me" without the risk of harm? Surely, somehow we'd have to make them feel more comfortable first and I would worry about that.

It's a bad cycle: they know that society hates and fears them, so they keep their urges on the downlow. Society knows what they're capable of when they act on their urges, so we hate and fear them.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 04/08/2016 14:55

What WetPaint said. Please stop putting words in the OP's mouth. Neither OP not the writer of the article suggest there is ANY way that sexual abuse of a child could be acceptable in any possible situation.

The writer of the article can't help his desires. Clearly he finds them abhorrent and has chosen to speak out in order to help others going through the same thing.

Come on people, a bit of empathy would go a long way here.

seventimes · 04/08/2016 14:58

Empathising is fine - but we must be careful not to minimise either the severity of the problem nor the risk that they pose.

What I got from what the OP said was:

  • we should empathise with pedophiles
  • it isn't their fault, they were born this way
  • they aren't dangerous because they are in control of their problem

I agree empathy can be helpful if it enables people to seek help.
It isn't their fault IMO, but they weren't born this way, it's a complex interaction of nature and nurture.
I do think they are dangerous, though, and are as in control of it as a recovering alcoholic working in a pub - they have to face their temptation everyday in society.

I don't think the OP has any grasp of the complexity of the issue though.

GinIsForWinners · 04/08/2016 15:12

Whilst I agree thatthere should be resources in place to prevent these paedophiles from acting out, I cannot empathise with this man. The whole article made me feel sick.
He actively joined in on forums where the 'most influential members were pro-contacters, meaning they believed that sex with children was theoretically OK and supported the elimination of age of consent laws.'
He says 'at times I’ve wondered why I’ve even bothered to stay legal', that to me doesn't suggest that he isn't a threat to children.
Anyone who has these sort of feelings towards children are a threat IMO. Children and babies are so vulnerable, and letting people like this anywhere near them is a risk.