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AIBU?

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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

If he doesn't want a baby, you shouldn't seek CSA

879 replies

NeedACleverNN · 02/08/2016 19:33

Why the hell is this line still trotted out?

I've even seen it on here. Woman falls pregnant, boyfriend doesn't want it and wants an abortion. She doesn't. People advise her to keep the baby and let him go. Don't bother seeking child maintenance because he didn't want the baby in the first place.

No!! If he didn't want a baby he should take his own precautions to preventing pregnancy. You don't like condoms? You don't have sex!

OP posts:
EveOnline2016 · 02/08/2016 21:55

With regards to children there will never been equality, because in the uk and many other parts of this globe we rightly see the women has the right not the unborn baby.

It takes 2 people to make a baby, and those 2 people should step up and take responsibility.

The court thing is a red herring, because the potential father to be would have to prove he was the father.

Original poster
NeedACleverNN · 02/08/2016 21:55

I am not getting banned for what is in my brain right now

OP posts:
LilacSpunkMonkey · 02/08/2016 21:56

'She could choose to keep her legs shut'.

Not anti-woman?

PridePrejudiceZombies · 02/08/2016 21:58

She had a choice to keep her legs shut, she had a choice to go for a 69 or anal so she wouldn't risk falling pregnant, and she chose to take that risk.

Yet, of course, the same is also true for the man who impregnated her and whose right not to have his 'child' (whatever) killed you are so concerned about. It's almost as if you're applying massive double standards, isn't it? Filthy hypocrisy.

And you are anti-woman. I fervently hope you don't have any daughters, as passing on this sort of attitude to them would be abusive.

scallopsrgreat · 02/08/2016 21:59

"I think both people should have equal say..." But it isn't an equal risk, Einna.

And bollocks to men being fucked up by abortions. Not as fucked up as forcing a woman to give birth when she doesn't want to.

But it is all about the menz feelz isn't it? Despite the fact that you have been severely traumatised by what has happened to you, you still put mens' feelings first.

You don't need to you know. Anyone wanting to force a woman to abort/carry an unwanted pregnancy certainly doesn't care about women's feelings.

Einna88 · 02/08/2016 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PridePrejudiceZombies · 02/08/2016 22:00

It's fascinating, isn't it, that because whores women could've had anal or oral instead, they should be forced to weather all the risks of pregnancy and birth, up to and including death. But the men who could've also had anal or oral instead should be able to force their preferred course of action in order to avoid being fucked up by an unwanted abortion.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 02/08/2016 22:01

I'm going to call bullshit now on Einna's story that she shared earlier.

Anyone going through something that traumatic in reality wouldn't have the repulsive opinions that Einna is sharing.

stitchglitched · 02/08/2016 22:02

None of the responses you've had have been anywhere near as unsavoury as the offensive bullshit in your posts Einna.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 02/08/2016 22:03

Fuck no will I support the disgusting comments you've made.

Interesting how your posting style keeps changing, even between threads....

Careforadrink · 02/08/2016 22:04

You're so blind to your misogyny/hypocrisy it's scary.

That's if your on the level which I now doubt.

StealthPolarBear · 02/08/2016 22:04

What about if it just cripples her for five years?
Honestly. I think your views are abhorrent.

thisismyfirsttime · 02/08/2016 22:04

My point being though that becoming a parent isn't just 'paying a bit of money'! If I'd had a contraception failure in my earlier years I would have been able to weigh up whether I was ready to be a parent, to a child. Who would require a lot more than a bit of money, I'd need to be in a position emotionally to want and love that baby and want to do the shitty, hard bits of parenting. If I wasn't ready to do that I could terminate the pregnancy. A man in the same position who has a contraceptive failure doesn't have the same option if the mother decides to keep the baby.
I was not suggesting for a minute that a woman should be forced to keep a baby that she doesn't want, I was just saying that when we're saying men should abstain from sex altogether if they don't want to risk pregnancy we should consider the boot to be on the other foot. I don't know what the solution is but I don't think it's ideal for someone of either sex to have the decision taken from them in the case of genuine contraceptive failure.

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery · 02/08/2016 22:05

both parents have a say in whether or not their child is killed

abortion is not killing a child.

Though here is a fun fact for you. Did you know the majority of children who are murdered are murdered by men? and that those murdered children are often killed by their own father both biological and step? They also have a nasty habit of killing their wives and themselves too. Wiping out entire families in a split second.

The majority of violent crime towards children is by men.

Men make up the majority of abductors too. A large percentage go on to rape and murder the children they abduct.

If you want to get riled up about children being killed how about you tackle this?

But no.. you want to give even more control to men over a woman's body, men who are currently proving themselves to be the biggest danger to children.

StealthPolarBear · 02/08/2016 22:06

" I thought we women were supposed to be free and equal to do that now, here in the UK? "

Oh enough with the faux innocence you're not fooling anyone. No, feminism is not about supporting other women who I consider to have ignorant, dangerous views. It's about having a brain and a moral compass of my own.

PridePrejudiceZombies · 02/08/2016 22:06

Of course there will be times when a pregnancy is dangerous for a woman and that should always be taken into consideration, and no a woman should not be asked to do anything that will cripple her for life regardless of the reason, that should always be the case.

This is quite a departure from what you said earlier, but it's also medically illiterate. SPD is an example of a pregnancy related complication that can cripple a woman for life. But it can come on quite late in a pregnancy. It doesn't send a nice letter to a midwife at 8 weeks saying it's going to happen. Your attitude displays a fundamental lack of understanding about the nature and predictability of pregnancy complications.

The reality is that if you want to force a woman to carry a pregnancy to term (or until she miscarries it I suppose) you are forcing her to take these risks. You can't then pretend to give a fuck about it or delude yourself you'll make exceptions in worthy cases. That's stupidity.

StealthPolarBear · 02/08/2016 22:08

And if she's only crippled for a few years she should just put up and shit upbshoukd she?
Does she get to take a sledgehammer to the man's pelvis? Just so it's fair?

Einna88 · 02/08/2016 22:08

Seeing as how I'm obviously upsetting people and we're not going to be discussing this calmly any time soon, I shall take my leave. I have no interest in offending or converting anyone, and I'm not going to try and do so, but it does upset me that quite a few women share this opinion but are afraid to speak openly about it because of the sort of backlash they will receive - the same sort I have just received - even among a group of apparently enlightened western woman.

I wish you all a good evening :-)

poof

StealthPolarBear · 02/08/2016 22:08

*shut up should she

StealthPolarBear · 02/08/2016 22:09

So you can't respond and are falling back on "calm down you lot".
I think we'll all take from that that you can't defend yourself.

MephistoMarley · 02/08/2016 22:09

true female empowerment/equality/feminism/whatever is about women supporting each other even if they disagree

No, it's really fucking not. And a woman proposing forced pregnancy for other women has no business talking about empowerment and equality.

ClassicCoast · 02/08/2016 22:10

Eienna is surely some 13 year old boy who has dipped his newly hairy toe into some menz sites?
Unsisterly? Not at all but very able to despair at such callous limited thinking. It's always a bit chilling to be around idiots who have no ability to empathise or understand and seek to justify their cruelty.

Pinkheart5915 · 02/08/2016 22:11

It's not only men that don't pay Maintence.

My brother became a single Dad age 20 ( his gf found out too late for an abortion and she would of had the baby adopted if he didn't look after it) and my nephew is now 13 and his Mum has never paid a penny, ok my brother has a good job and doesn't need the money but that isn't the point. She's had no contact with my nephew since she left him at a few days old, my brother tried contacting her a while ago as my nephew as curious about his biological Mum and she made it quite clear she doesn't want to know.

I do agree that men or women should have to pay Maintence regardless of if they wanted the baby or not. You have a child You should pay towards that child

LobsterQuadrille · 02/08/2016 22:11

Brainwashed/part of a cult?

StealthPolarBear · 02/08/2016 22:11

Anyway let's move on. I suspect that poster wishes she'd never started the discussion, falling back as she is on the "but I thought as a woman I am allowed to give my opinion..."

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