If he doesn't want a baby, you shouldn't seek CSA

[NeedACleverNN]

Why the hell is this line still trotted out?

I've even seen it on here. Woman falls pregnant, boyfriend doesn't want it and wants an abortion. She doesn't. People advise her to keep the baby and let him go. Don't bother seeking child maintenance because he didn't want the baby in the first place.

No!! If he didn't want a baby he should take his own precautions to preventing pregnancy. You don't like condoms? You don't have sex!

Canada

You appear to have a twisted view of equality

Einna

Your views about forcing women to have children against their will is akin to nazis.

Utter utter bollocks.

So a man should not have sex with any woman ever if he's not prepared to potentially become a dad. Should abortion become illegal for women who have had contraception failures? (I exclude rape victims and pregnancies that could result in harm to mother/ child, of course.)

Why can't there be accidental pregnancy in this day and age... some people's bodies just are not compatible with hormonal contraception.

And humans are fallible in every area of life including using condoms perfectly.

If men get to force me to carry a child I assume, because of 'equality', that I get to force them to have a vasectomy.

Eve - Some men haven't worked out that rape can cause pregnancy.

So a man should not have sex with any woman ever if he's not prepared to potentially become a dad. Should abortion become illegal for women who have had contraception failures?

No because it's the woman who has been affected and has to carry that baby to term. The worse thing that can happen to a man, is he has to pay. That's it. A bit of money. A woman could die. How is that hard to understand?

Equality means 50%. That means women get to choose whether or not they will have a child and men get to choose whether or not they will be a part of that (physically or fiscally).

Yet this is not equality. What you advocate here allows men to genuinely walk away without having to do anything if they don't want to be a parent, whereas the woman would have to undergo a medical procedure which, while usually safe, can have serious side effects and is often painful. The people who bleat on about how dads should be able to opt out because abortion invariably fail to take this into account. If you want to advocate for this, fine, but it is nowhere close to equal. It's not even in the same ball park.

The reality is that because of our biology, men and women are left with two different sets of no choice in the event of a conception. Women are left with no choice but to be pregnant, which is more dangerous than not being pregnant, and to deal with it either by abortion or carrying to term, unless they miscarry. Doesn't matter how an individual woman feels about this, if she gets pregnant it's going to end in one of those three ways. All of which are more risky to her health than not being pregnant in the first place. And men are left with no choice but to accept the way in which the woman chooses to deal with the pregnancy, or miscarriage of course. Which is a no choice situation for both partners.

Einna, how would the courts enforce the order for her to carry to term? Will they lock her up to make sure she doesn't seek a termination? Can he sue her if she miscarries?

I love that men's rights to have sex are immutable but my right not to die or be permanently damaged or risk PND, fistulae, incontinence, high blood pressure, tearing to name just a few things, is totes OK to mess with.

thisismyfirsttime- The contraception companies don't claim to be 100% effective hence you can't sue if you do become pregnant.

Men should make sure that they use contraception and not be surprised/angry with the woman if pregnancy occurs.

Einna you are beyond stupid, do you know that? You believe that men should be able to get a court order to force a woman to continue a pregnancy and hand it over to the man? Wow. It never ceases to amaze me how some women internalise misogyny so completely.

If a man really doesn't want to become a Dad but can't function without an organ (because we all know how men have needs, right ?) then he should just have a wank.

If he chooses to have sex, he runs the risk of pregnancy and he has to pay up.

Oh I thought you'd just stated that the taxpayer pays. Didn't read the "If the mother has no other income" and wanted to make the point that some mothers, even some single mothers, work.
I try to be really careful when wording posts as the slightest wrong word can completely change the tone and / or meaning of the post and seriously upset people.

It's not obligatory to ejaculate inside a vagina. It's quite pleasant to ejaculate in other places, and if you are adamant that you don't want to create an accidental pregnancy then you should take every step to avoid it.
I've known shagged dozens of men who would happily have stuck it in without a condom without even asking whether I was on the pill. The proportion of men who pulled out a condom without me suggesting it is tiny. Absolutely tiny.

Jesus wept. No, Persian, there is no automatic right to benefits. Benefits are means tested. Plenty of single parents receive no benefits at all.

As for the rest of it....we have gone back about....200 years? Are some of you women for real?

Is your world Narnia, Einna?

And stop talking about 'killing children'. Abortion is not 'killing children'. Using language like that and saying you're not pro-life is kind of a giveaway that you're very much pro-life.

Fuck off with your horrible, backwards, woman-hating bile.

Women don't get to decide custody on divorce?

Jesus wept. Again. Most women get stuck with their children regardless of whether they want that. You can't legally compel a parent to, you know, parent. The small minority of cases that end up in court.....depends on so much. Nothing is ever certain.

Thank goodness I don't live in your world. Unfortunately many women do. Many die as a result, from illegal abortions and childbirth. Easily accessible contraception, sex education and accessible abortion is the way to less abortions. Not forcing women to submit to the will of a man or men.

Totally agree, I don't understand why the csa system isn't more efficient and strict. I agree with the abstaining stance, sex is designed to make babies. My cousin is in this position at the moment... Told the woman he didn't want it and wasn't in a financial position to support it.. She went ahead with the pregnancy and is due any day. I'm slowly working on him that he needs to step up to his responsibilities. In the beginning he went as far as changing his number, address etc so csa wouldn't be able to track him I despaired..

Einna

Wtaf

Your views are utterly disgusting. You should be ashamed.