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AIBU?

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Original poster

To worry about the baby in bed with me

32 replies

Dontfencemein · 01/08/2016 20:50

Please let me not open a can of worms about co sleeping...

DS is almost six months old. At some point in the last six weeks or so, I started taking him into our bed in the night when he woke (he was waking almost hourly even in a cot directly beside the bed). He has reflux and we had a run of chickenpox in the family and I think I just got desperate for him (and me) to get a good nights sleep. Now he settles beautifully after a breastfeed and to be honest it is lovely. I do take precautions with pillows, covers, no alcohol, etc.

However I have a gnawing dread that I am Making A Rod For My Own Back. I don't want to end up with a toddler, or worse, a child in bed. Half of me wants to go with the flow and the other half thinks we should nip this in the bud.

Am I over thinking this?

OP posts:
CodyKing · 01/08/2016 20:53

To be honesty - sleep is soooo important!!' I'm all for kids in their own beds but needs must - do what you think is best

camelfinger · 01/08/2016 20:54

Don't worry. We have two that spent month after month in our bed. They're now nicely snoring away in their own beds. Just do what you need to do to get through the rough patch and sort it out when you have more time and energy.

Booboostwo · 01/08/2016 21:16

I am snuggling next to DH and two softly snoring DCs who are hugging each other as I type this...the rod may turn out not to be too bad. Smile

NickyEds · 01/08/2016 21:19

Don't worry. My dd came into our bed at some point during the night every night until fairly recently, I still bring her in now rather than spend ages re settling her but the majority of the time she's in her own bed, she's just turned one.

JeSuisLeLoup · 01/08/2016 21:22

Do what you think is best. They will sleep in their own beds when they are ready

Mothers all round the world do it.

I hope you get some nice sleep

Wolfiefan · 01/08/2016 21:22

"Got desperate."Do what you have to. He's only little. Plenty of time to change this when you want to. I co slept with my youngest for several months.

timelytess · 01/08/2016 21:26

However I have a gnawing dread that I am Making A Rod For My Own Back. I don't want to end up with a toddler, or worse, a child in bed.

Oh yes, I remember that, the staff at the hospital saying I was 'making a rod for my own back' and that I'd be back in there, without the baby in a few weeks. Well, I wasn't. And she's now a wonderful 34 year old co-sleeping with her husband and nearly-five-year-old daughter. They have no intention of shipping the baby out to sleep elsewhere, unless she wants to go.

Do what you want. Your baby, your rules. Get some sleep. She was/is never 'a rod' for my back. Ever.

peneleope82 · 01/08/2016 22:28

A habit is only a bad one when it becomes something you don't want. We've managed to break any 'bad habits' with our children in a few days.

Don't overthink it and don't listen to 'rod for your own back' talk!

TooGood2BeFalse · 01/08/2016 22:44

I have a 3 week old here, he is in a bassinet next to me. He is so desperate for constant human contact that I would love to co sleep as I think we'd get triple the sleep as he settles instantly being held and snuggled. My DH, however, is terrified of rolling on him and thinks it's too dangerous so we continue the 'pick him, try to put him down without him screaming the min he touches the mattress game'. YANBU OP. Whatever works for you!

RubbleBubble00 · 01/08/2016 22:46

As long as you can sleep, I wouldn't worry. Dh worked away so I was happy to co-sleep but dont think I could have with dh in the bed. All mine grunted and snored horrendously, they ended up sleeping brilliantly and I was woken hourly with the snores lol

Junosmum · 01/08/2016 23:21

To be honest, I wish I'd never started vo-sleeping. 7mo will not sleep independently, not for naps, not for night time. It's affected the quality of my sleep, husband is no longer in bed with me which we both miss and its not showing signs of changing, unless I do something desperate.

BUT I don't know what else we could have done. I couldn't have my newborn screaming for me and not cuddle him!

thescruffiestgiantintown · 01/08/2016 23:32

I've got one in bed with me and one in her own bed whom I wish was in bed with me but she usually asks to sleep in her own room now.

I love timelytess' comment. Cuddling my children will never be a rod.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 01/08/2016 23:48

I loved the nights when they fell asleep in my bed, but I could never quite relax with them there and always ended up taking them back to their own beds. I envy anyone who can cosleep.

Coconut0il · 01/08/2016 23:54

Co slept with DS1, co sleeping with DS2. We all get the most sleep that way. Definitely agree that it's not a problem unless you don't want it. DS1 is 12 now and I really miss those sleepy cuddles so I'm making the most of DS2, 11 months.

nolongersurprised · 02/08/2016 03:08

I slept on and off with mine at that age and beyond to maximise sleep. They were all moved back to their own cots as babies without too much difficulty when their sleep cycles had matured and they weren't feeding as much overnight.

I wouldn't worry, you're making a decision for right now, not forever.

ICJump · 02/08/2016 03:15

We co slept with ds1 for ages. And now at 5 he puts a story tape in, climbs into his bed and turns the light out at about 7:15 and we don't see him again til morning.

If there was a rod it's long gone.

sonlypuppyfat · 02/08/2016 04:45

I slept with all 3 of mine I loved it . DH slept on his own and I slept with the babies I found it easier to BF and it was the only way I got some sleep. They are not little for ever

YouCanButImNot · 02/08/2016 09:27

I co sleep for about half the night now with my dd (2) and co slept fully when she was smaller. Don't worry about it, enjoy the snuggles and maximise your sleep! There's nothing quite so nice as waking up with your toddler all snuggled up.

maamalady · 02/08/2016 09:50

TooGood - put baby on the outside of the bed, so you're in between baby and your DH. More sleep for everyone, and no fear. No danger of the baby falling out of bed until they can roll, so don't worry about that.

OP - having enough sleep is more important than how you get it. If it means you all get sleep, co-sleep!

FiddleFigs · 02/08/2016 09:51

DD came into our bed at around 4 months. It was the only way we all got some sleep! She's 2.5 years old now and though starts off in her own room, she usually ends up in our bed (sometimes at 3am, sometimes at 6:30am). We know it won't be forever, so we don't mind. We also aren't planning another, so don't need to worry about too many in bed!

datingbarb · 02/08/2016 09:59

Do what suits you, for me personally co-sleeping sounds like my idea of hell and all 4 of mine have slept in there own Moses/cots/beds but if it works for you then that's fine.

Like someone else said out thread its only a bad habit of it doesn't work for you! And if that's the case then break the habit now if your fine with it and potentially will be for s good few years to come then crack on

datingbarb · 02/08/2016 10:00

Do what suits you, for me personally co-sleeping sounds like my idea of hell and all 4 of mine have slept in there own Moses/cots/beds but if it works for you then that's fine.

Like someone else said out thread its only a bad habit of it doesn't work for you! And if that's the case then break the habit now if your fine with it and potentially will be for s good few years to come then crack on

Artandco · 02/08/2016 10:05

Too good - take a look at a sleepyhead pod. It gives baby a safe place in your bed and Dh can sleep without worrying he will roll on baby

Ohwoolballs · 02/08/2016 10:14

Co sleeper here. My 4 month old still eats at least three times a night (and really decent feeds mostly, not just soothing sucks) until he sleeps a bit longer I don't see the point of sticking him in a cot.
He hated the Moses baskets and had only used the cot a couple of times. We sleep in a double bed in his room and DH sleeps in our room, I really miss the closeness to my DH but I don't think we will be co sleeping all night after he is a year old or so.

M0nstersinthecl0set · 02/08/2016 10:15

Some nights my nearly six months ds is all night in his own bed. Some nights he comes in with me (set up for it). Sometimes this is because i am keen to get back to sleep Blush mainly it's when he just seems to need more cuddles/ have me where he can reach me to smack me in the face, fishhookme or pull my hair as he feels is necessary. You don't have to do one thing or another. A bit of flexibility goes a long way with children.

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