To worry about the baby in bed with me

[Dontfencemein]

Please let me not open a can of worms about co sleeping...

DS is almost six months old. At some point in the last six weeks or so, I started taking him into our bed in the night when he woke (he was waking almost hourly even in a cot directly beside the bed). He has reflux and we had a run of chickenpox in the family and I think I just got desperate for him (and me) to get a good nights sleep. Now he settles beautifully after a breastfeed and to be honest it is lovely. I do take precautions with pillows, covers, no alcohol, etc.

However I have a gnawing dread that I am Making A Rod For My Own Back. I don't want to end up with a toddler, or worse, a child in bed. Half of me wants to go with the flow and the other half thinks we should nip this in the bud.

Am I over thinking this?

(To clarify i do love how cuddly he is and generally bed sharing, but realistically i recall my older children and ds making waking up with them at times painful!)

timelytess I just loved that message!

I co-slept with my toddler up until 2 weeks before the new baby arrived. At that stage toddler moved into his own room into a double bed which he shares with his Daddy.

I co-sleep with the baby (now 10 months) and, now that baby is bigger, we often share with the toddler too.

I ignore comments about rods for my back... The reality is that cosleeping allows ME to get more sleep. Provided I'm well rested I'm happier. If I'm happier then EVERYONE is happier.

Do what works for you and your family and ignore everyone else.

All of mine coslept until they were in their own rooms. DS2 hasn't slept in our bed for 4.5 years.

DD is 6 months and will start off in her own cot but sometimes end up with me. She'll only nap on me which I don't mind, it gives me a chance to enjoy the quiet! She's asleep on me right now in fact.

My DS is almost 6 months and ends up in my bed every night at the moment. I was too afraid of squashing him when he was really tiny but been happier since I felt able to do it, it feels very natural to snuggle and feed my baby and snooze back off. Admittedly I sleep more deeply when he isn't in the bed but for me the 'rod' was the frustration and exhaustion of trying a zillion times to resettle him. Enjoy the cuddles with your lovely baby.

I love co-sleeping. DId it from the moment DS1 was put into my arms - I tried putting him into the bassinet in the hospital but he didn't like it so I picked him up again and he settled into me immediately, and I was sold. Funny, never thought I would be!

Anyway - 8 1/2 years later, I'm still co-sleeping, although not with DS1 any longer - he shipped out aged 4 when I was pg with DS2 and needed the space for my beanbag. DS2 is still in with me though and I wouldn't change it for the world YET (but then he's still only 3). When he's 4, then we'll do something about it but only if he's ready.

I used to get terrible nightmares as a child, and when I was having some therapy, had a horrible flashback experience of feeling completely abandoned - not going into too many details, but the feeling was "pre-verbal", so from when I was still a baby - and I'm sure that has affected my feelings about co-sleeping as well.

DH hasn't slept in with us since DS1 was about 3 days old - he couldn't cope with the interruption to his sleep from me feeding/changing DS1 through the night - but now he has DS1 in with him now and then, whenever DS1 has a nightmare or just wants some company.

I don't like the whole "rod for your own back" thing either - it's lovely being woken up by a little arm sneaking over for a cuddle and a little voice saying "I love you Mummy" - best thing ever. Enjoy it.

Hi ohwool!

Another committed co-sleeper here, on baby two. DS went properly into his own bed around 9 or 10 months when the little bum started kicking me all night. Took a few nights but he got the idea quickly, definitely no rod there. DD is 4 months and still nurses about 3 times a night, so I just sleep with one boob out and let her get on with it.

If you do side by side nursing lying down, put a folded muslin under your boob and baby's head to catch drips or your sheets will smell of sour milk. I use a toddler bed rail on my side of the bed and DD sleeps that side, so no worries about her rolling out or DH squashing her. She sleeps in a grobag and I wear warm pjs and have a single duvet that goes up to my waist. DH has his own single duvet (this actually predates kids and I highly recommend it when couples have temperature differentials or blanket thievery issues!!).