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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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to think this is a fake Chester Zoo ticket? Seriously, is it fake!?

1007 replies

user1469643462 · 01/08/2016 19:34

Yeah, I think we all know now, but is there like a 1% chance any form of ticket looks like this!?!?

This is basically a follow on too

OP posts:
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12
Msqueen33 · 02/08/2016 12:14

How worrying. Glad you've made to get your son a place somewhere else. It's one thing apologising for a mix up and refunding the money but to continue lying is such a silly thing to do.

dwinnol · 02/08/2016 12:14

My theory is

  1. CM charged you with intention of going to the zoo and then either couldn't take or went the day before and then didn't want to look unprofessional. Obviously she thought it was going to go away but it didn't. Once in a hole stop digging.
  2. Odd price is accounted by CM not paying for her own admission so sharing the cost through all her mindees ticket price. This might have been a historical arrangement with previous mums and she's carried it on without expressly discussing with OP.
  3. The fake ticket just smacks of desperation.
MerryInthechelseahotel · 02/08/2016 12:16

Did she think the ticket was for a scrapbook?

ayeokthen · 02/08/2016 12:16

Bullying? With respect, OP is not the one who made this thread go mental, we all are! The cm was out of order, she's been dropped, isn't identifiable and if she is, well she shouldn't have lied and tried to stitch up a kid and its all just been a bit of fun on here and a thoroughly crap time for OP. Bullying doesn't come into it.

CandODad · 02/08/2016 12:16

I think the initial reply from "the zoo" was the standard reply from the person that's staffs the board, they will have set guidelines for what to say. Once it grew it would have been escalated and a plan put together last night/this morning. The wording will have been examined, checked with legal support and PR before being written.

As for anyone thinking the CM is on the verge of being bullied, are you mad? Bullying would be the OP camping out and talking to every parent or maybe telling the CM that she will do x,y,z unless she makes it good with OP. Bullying is not OP saying what has happened and what she is going to do accompanied by others putting forward an opinion.

IceBeing · 02/08/2016 12:17

I agree that if any of the kids had been to the zoo at any point she could have produced an expert fake and not this BS.

So you might want to let the other parents know too.

user1469643462 · 02/08/2016 12:17

No, because it came up when I confronted her about ds saying he went to a museum, so she said she'd show me the ticket on Monday, so it was to act as proof

OP posts:
kirinm · 02/08/2016 12:20

Good grief. I'm not denying that you're in a tricky position and if she has lied, the CM is clearly untrustworthy and you shouldn't use her again but you really need to get a grip and contact her.

Yes it was amusing but I don't think the Facebook thing is a fair thing to have done (I know you didn't do it) but it's about time you told her you know she isn't telling the truth and end the relationship.

Advise her you'll be reporting her to OFSTED but be sure you're right as that's somebodies livelihood fucked if you aren't right.

SauvignonPlonker · 02/08/2016 12:20

OP, just remember you don't answer to random people on the internet making demands. Some people are very clearly enjoying this.

It sounds like your relationship with the CM is beyond repair & you cannot send DS back there. If she doesn't know already, she will hear from others, soon.

JeanGenie23 · 02/08/2016 12:22

OP I remember you saying that your DS attends CM Monday, weds, Friday- does that mean you will call/email her today? What do you want to do?

My suggestion, if your interested, Blush is call Ofsted first and ask them their thoughts on how to proceed with CM. We can give you 101 opinions but I would listen to them. Their no. 0300 123 1231

user1469643462 · 02/08/2016 12:22

I don't need to contact her, right now, I really don't have to. She has fucked my son right over, why the heck do I want to waste even more of my day on her? I'm spending it with my son, I couldn't care less if she is expecting him tomorrow... Of course I'm right, I have spend days making sure of it. I don't know why people are now all of a sudden sticking up for her.

OP posts:
RavioliOnToast · 02/08/2016 12:23

I'm all ShockShockHmmConfusedGrinGrinGrin at this thread.

Borntobeamum · 02/08/2016 12:23

Is this a childminder in Chester?

Borntobeamum · 02/08/2016 12:24

Do you think your cm is having financial problems?

fastdaytears · 02/08/2016 12:25

OP is not bullying the childminder. That's ridiculous.

kirinm · 02/08/2016 12:25

Yes because calling her is really going to cause you major problems. I'm not sticking up for her but I don't think you've handled this very well. Why don't you want to finish the whole thing rather than have it plastered all over the Internet.

ladyme · 02/08/2016 12:26

It is serious. I would notify the Family Information Service at the local authority and ask them to pass it on to the safeguarding team. Then tell Ofsted. Let them decide if it's in their remit.

As far as the childminder is concerned, I would email her tonight saying that your son isn't coming because you know that she has given you a false ticket for the zoo and you do not trust her any more. Ask her (again) for the money back for the fee.

cowssheephens · 02/08/2016 12:27

I don't find this situation funny at all OP! Tbh I think what the childminder has done is disgusting and extremely untrustworthy.

I would report her and contact the police due to fraud.

I work as a nursery manager absolutely gobsmacked that this person works with children. You are lucky that you son was able to tell you, imagine the babies and toddlers who can't communicate yet! 😢😠

user1469643462 · 02/08/2016 12:27

I originally asked on a thread, like everyone else on Mumsnet, I can't help that it's now plastered all over the internet and maybe because I have spent the last few days seeing her worm her way out of it? She will come up with more bullshit, I will deal with it when I want to, I don't know why it now affects you how I deal with it?

I'm not digging at anyone, as I'm please you're all having a great time, but what is so hilarious about it?

OP posts:
coolpotato · 02/08/2016 12:28

I agree with Kirimn, this has gone on long enough now in the public domain. I have watched with interest, and admittedly found some of the posts amusing) but the bottom line is bringing this to a head and ending it.

It would appear that the CM has lied and I suspect she has backed herself into a corner that she didn't anticipate, whether she was out and out devious and knowingly defrauded you and others, or whether it's come about via a silly decision which she now truly regrets. Publically shaming and ridiculing her is a bit unfair.....although this is the age we live in and social media can be a viscous beast so was only to be expected.

Confront her, end the relationship, report as you see fit but do it privately and let the authorities deal with this now (if that is what you decide). I agree, she will be shamed enough locally if (if...ha! I think WHEN) this comes out and hopefully she will learn her lesson.

user1469643462 · 02/08/2016 12:29

Also, how will telling her he isn't going back resolve it? She is still looking after children and has stolen money, it won't be then end, so why is it such an emergency to phone her ASAP?

OP posts:
LadyStoicIsBack · 02/08/2016 12:29

Ok, well it seems pretty bloody obvious the CM was lying, in which case:

She will have falsified her OFSTED records for that day.
The safeguarding issues are clear and present (physically in event of something going horrendously wrong; emotionally and mentally - both already perpetuatedAngry upon OP's DS).

She has committed theft with intent to defraud - you can have no clue right now as to the extent of both as the chances of this being the very first time seem minimal. Even if she only' did this once a month then that's a clear grand stolen (& de facto not also declared to HMRC).

You do have a Duty of Care to report to: SS, OFSTED, Police. Whilst I sympathise (as clearly you never asked to be in this position), you genuinely have no choice.

And if Bill is such a whizz on Fraud, then he/she would know this is Fraud, albeit one that would be investigated on a local level; likewise that what makes this fraud so very much more serious are the safeguarding issues wrapped up in it. There is no way the Police will not investigate (& they can/will speak to other parents so I'd leave that well alone) and will prosecute if can obtain sufficient evidence for CPS - something that looks like a slam dunk 'just' from this incident.

You CAN'T not report - there are other children at risk here (and no, you cannot assume the lying is restrained to simply obtaining money fraudulently; she has already demonstrated can and will fuck with the heads of her charges, so for all you know of there may potentially be worse going on behind closed doors but she has also manipulated children vis that). What this incident does is throw up her every self-reported entry in OFTSTED daily register as now questionable and you cannot ignore that nor it's implications.

I'm so sorry OP Flowers

LoreleiGilmoreIsMyBFF · 02/08/2016 12:29

Just wanted to add that I think you showed real tact & diplomacy with your DS while trying to find out what had happened, and have managed to protect him from all this palava. Good luck, OP, sorry this has happened. I was on the verge of tears at the thought of someone suggesting your son had lied when the truth emerged. Flowers

EstellaHavisham · 02/08/2016 12:30

OP do you have a contract with her? I don't blame you not wanting to contact her but if you have a contract with her she might bill you for unused childcare if you have an agreement.

SoupDragon · 02/08/2016 12:31

On the plus side, at least she correctly used an apostrophe in "child's ticket"

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