To be really upset by pils text

[AdmiralCLingus]

Dd goes to them on Sundays while I'm at work. She's complaining tonight that her tummy hurts because she fell on it today so I text them and asked about it because I don't know whether she's genuinely hurt something or just saying things so I don't put her to bed. (It wouldn't be the first time)

Fil has replied

She didn't fall on or in anything here today we are getting a bit fed up of the continual third degree every time we look after her. We would not allow her to damage herself in any way if it could be avoided. Also we would be sure to tell you if she had.

I really don't understand where this response has come from... it's not like I text them every week accusing them of hurting her or anything! And I also know they wouldn't let her get hurt or anything like that, I just don't know what to her.

I feel pathetic that it's upset me so much

Your text might not have been perfectly expressed, but I don't think it's inquisition level... I guess they have revealed a bit about how they feel in their interpretation and reply. If I'd had a text like that I wouldn't jump to a conclusion that I was being accused of something out of nowhere, so I guess they feel sensitive for some reason (clearly not based on a pattern of previous questions from you though). Unless their default reaction to anything with a ? is to take it as negative.

Try and forget about it for tonight. You can always try calling them again tomorrow. Don't let it spoil your evening

I'm just wondering how you got on, OP?

Well I couldn't get through to either phone so I left it. Dds dad is supposed to have her on Tuesday but he took her to his dad. When I went to pick her up he didn't mention his text so neither did I. Guess he was just having a bad day....

I would have had to ask him to explain himself. He shouldn't have taken a bad day out on you. And if it wasn't a bad day, he clearly has an issue that needs resolved. But I get that it's an uncomfortable situation for you.

Do you pay them to look after your DD? I think I picked that up from one of your posts earlier.

Yeah, her dad pays them (so not me personally) but they don't do it free

I think the question mark at the end of your text comes across as passive aggressive. If you want to ask someone who cared for your child if they fell and injured themself when in their care then ask a proper question preferably in person. Falling on your tummy sounds odd and like an excuse to me so if my kid I'd have looked at tummy for scratches and if none given her paracetamol and put her to bed and not mentioned it again.