To be so embarrassed and feel tired of being the way I am?

[VioletBam]

I've always had difficulties recognising people and have also always had problems with getting lost.

I can't recognise people that I know. Recently I discovered this condition was "an actual thing" called prosopagnosia. Most people call it Face Blindness.

I am not VERY bad with it...I know my own family for instance. But if I see for example...one of my children's teachers outside the confines of their classroom, then I won't know them from Adam.

All my life I have had situations where people would just start talking to me...and I'd have no idea who they were.

Sometimes they'd say things like "Don't you know me?" or "It's X! From Y!" and get annoyed.

Well it's just happened again. I'm in Australia and it's day here. I was walking down a street which is long and eventually leads to my own. There had been a procession in the village...and DD and I were returning.

A woman was walking behind us...she smiled and caught up with DD and I and said "Do you take the short cut or go the long way?"

And I looked blankly at her and said "I usually go the long way or I get lost...but how do you know where I'm going?"

Then DD said "Mum! It's Emily's Mum!"

Emily is DD's friend...she lives on our street...three doors up. I have this woman's number...she has been round to my house to collect her DD. I've met her husband. I've met this woman about 30 times since we moved in a year ago.

I decided to be open and said "I have face blindness" and she just laughed and carried on chatting.

Does she now think I'm a weirdo or rude?

It's happened SO often. I also get lost all the time. And can't recognise our car or the cars of other people I should do.

I'm sick of it!

Benedikte I LOVE the combination of "Nut cup" as in the special little cups American's use for serving nuts.

Nut cup.

Also hate that "sat" use..AND I hate "Make a brew" when what's meant is "tea".

Brew. So ugly.

I'm crap at remembering where I've been (so at remembering routes for eg - another example of why I'm lucky I can't drive!) but great at following maps. Anyone else? I wonder if it's somehow "to compensate" for not remembering buildings etc?

I see your "sat" and "brew" and raise you "gotten"

Another thing I reember from the other week, I was walking home from work and saw a cute kid in a pushchair, thought "oh that's a cute kid probably about the same age as ds" it WAS DS with his grandad

Beyond

I BROUGHT a new top from Next today!

Gosh yes that must cause you problems - I would also mention it briefly to anyone you meet for the first time. in a fairly light hearted way.. like 'oh by the way if you bump into me and i dont recognize you its because i have a condition which means i struggle to recognise faces - im not a rude cow' etc etc. At least you look cool and nonchalant.. they must just think you have such an exciting life meeting new people all the time. Hugs xx

I have this to a tricky degree, but many people I can recognise just fine (oddly, since giving birth, my ability to recognise faces has improved and remembering names has gone down!), so they think I'm overplaying it if I say I can't recognise certain people.

The worst was when I saw a new GP in a practice where the receptionists only referred to the two doctors as the male and the female GP, came back two weeks later and talked about what we'd agreed previously. GP got convinced I had severe mental issues and referred me to a psychologist before it transpired that my previous appt had been with a locum. She thought psychosis was more likely than just not realising I hadn't met her before (she was sitting behind the same desk, quacking like a GP...)

I'm shit hot at navigating and recognising places even if I've only been there once 20 years ago. There must be some sort of details of faces that I just don't see. Also I can recognise two pictures as the same person or whatever - it's when I see someone at a different angle I don';t recognise them.

Nobody should ever feel embarrassed about having any sort of impairment. If you are embarrassed about your own impairment then it means it is okay for someone in a wheelchair to be embarrassed about that or a deaf person to be embarrassed about being deaf or a blind person for being blind.

It isn't.

If anyone makes you feel embarrassed that is their problem and not yours.

I hope you wouldn't make somebody feel embarrassed about their impairments. So why make yourself feel it?

The idea that everybody should be 'perfect' and completely 'able' is not helpful and feeds our insecurities. Everybody has a right to be themselves and feel comfortable being themselves without feeling 'lesser.'

Don't ever be ashamed or try to cover-up any impairment. Be up front about it and bold. When you talk about your difference it helps make it more recognised and makes it easier for you and for others around you to live in harmony with each other.

My husband is deaf, has visual impairment, mobility problems which cause constant pain and he is also autistic (like me) and has adhd. We both have prosopagnosia as part of our neurodivergent attributes. To be honest it causes more laughter than anything else. Once upon a time when we were younger we felt embarrassment but since then we met up with disability rights campaigners and learned about the social model of disability. I cannot recommend enough the benefit of reading up on that. It is much simpler and less boring than it sounds and it completely transformed our lives by allowing us to see that we are not the problem - the problem is a lack of understanding that every person is entitled to be treated with respect and that differences are not to be hidden and felt shame about but to be embraced and acknowledged and allowed for.

Tell people you are bad with remembering faces out of context and ask them to remind you who they are if they meet you out and about.

Most people will be absolutely fine about it. The ones who aren't - well that's their problem not yours. They should be embarrassed for being intolerant.

This philosophy is a great one to show your child that she is a whole person who need not pretend to be other than she is to gain the world's approval. By such steps we make the world better for everyone.

I use "gotten" because it's American English, and I'm American. I'm sorry if it bothers anybody.

Intellectually I know a disability isn't something to be ashamed of. But there still is very real discrimination against people with disabilities. It's every bit as repugnant as racial or religious discrimination, and it's not always legal, but it is there. Sometimes it takes the form of not believing someone who says they have an invisible disability.

Prosopagnosia absolutely does make social anxiety worse. I suspect I'm on the autism spectrum as well, which also doesn't help.

I don't have face blindness, but as I've gotten older (I'm 48) I struggle to remember names. I know who someone is but I really have to concentrate to call up their name even if I've known them for years. If my husband is there I say to the person "I can't remember if you've met my husband?" This is his cue to stick out his hand and introduce himself, which elicits a return introduction from the nameless friend. This has saved me on a few occasions.

Wow - I've found my people. I suffer from it on a mild level. I find it difficult when people are out of context if I have only met them a few times. I am a primary school teacher and it takes me ages to learn my classes' names. I sometimes get two similarly looking children mixed up for the whole year.

My DH is the opposite. He never forgets a face. I can simultaneously watch two drama series' with the same actor in and not recognise an actor that is the same in each. For example, we watched Veep together and I had no idea that one of the actors was in The Good Wife until DH pointed it out.

I am the same, but to a lesser extent than some posters on here. Hello!!

I also get lost in Milton Keynes every time. I am normally good at navigating but MK has no distinguishing features and bamboozles me.

I can never recognise our neighbours ... It's very odd.

You have to know you've got the disability first, though. I muddled through an entire sales career with face/name blindness - it wasn't exactly an advantage! I simply didn't realise my recognition skills were so much worse than average. Luckily I'm both short-sighted and prone to getting lost in thought, which other people did realise and made allowances. But it's still pretty shit when you walk straight past the client you've just spent an hour with, because she doesn't look the same standing up!

While living in London, I constantly bounced up to celebrities on the basis that they looked slightly familiar so must be a client

I have the getting lost thing, too. I'm a really good map reader but something goes wrong when I have to translate it into action - I do great when I'm on directions and someone else is driving; utterly awful if I'm the driver. Now I live in a tiny little town & have no car - I get lost between my house and the supermarket It's much worse when I'm tired, I don't even recognise my own street sometimes.

Lovely to see so many fellow klutzes! It goes without saying we won't recognise each other next time we meet

Does anyone here know of a forum for prosopagnosiacs to provide support and exchange experiences? This is the first opportunity I've had to meet and talk to others. I'm new to MN and am presuming this thread will disappear shortly.