To be so embarrassed and feel tired of being the way I am?

[VioletBam]

I've always had difficulties recognising people and have also always had problems with getting lost.

I can't recognise people that I know. Recently I discovered this condition was "an actual thing" called prosopagnosia. Most people call it Face Blindness.

I am not VERY bad with it...I know my own family for instance. But if I see for example...one of my children's teachers outside the confines of their classroom, then I won't know them from Adam.

All my life I have had situations where people would just start talking to me...and I'd have no idea who they were.

Sometimes they'd say things like "Don't you know me?" or "It's X! From Y!" and get annoyed.

Well it's just happened again. I'm in Australia and it's day here. I was walking down a street which is long and eventually leads to my own. There had been a procession in the village...and DD and I were returning.

A woman was walking behind us...she smiled and caught up with DD and I and said "Do you take the short cut or go the long way?"

And I looked blankly at her and said "I usually go the long way or I get lost...but how do you know where I'm going?"

Then DD said "Mum! It's Emily's Mum!"

Emily is DD's friend...she lives on our street...three doors up. I have this woman's number...she has been round to my house to collect her DD. I've met her husband. I've met this woman about 30 times since we moved in a year ago.

I decided to be open and said "I have face blindness" and she just laughed and carried on chatting.

Does she now think I'm a weirdo or rude?

It's happened SO often. I also get lost all the time. And can't recognise our car or the cars of other people I should do.

I'm sick of it!

Wish I'd known I had it when working in a large open plan office. I had to consult regularly with random people within the office and it was so excruciatingly embarrassing to try to find a colleague Id been talking to maybe only hours previously. Used to find my way with difficulty back to the general area where they worked and ask someone (preferably of the opposite sex) if so and so was around. Just had no way of recognising them again and if I thought I did, odds were it it someone else who to me looked the same.
Main problem now is having difficulty recognising actors in TVs programmes and films and friends out of context.
BTW I also have synaesthesia which I was also not aware of until I was an adult. Do other face blind posters have this too?

I also have aspergers and I am unable to picture things in my head. (I found out that is not normal on another mn thread). Wonder if it's all linked?

I don't have this very badly, but I do need to spend a lot of time with people before I am able to recognise them. If I meet someone out of context, I might recognise them, but not be able to tell from where I know them. Often rely on hairstyles, too.

The problem with movies is well known to me, too - I loved The Hobbit for that reason, the dwarves have really unique hairstyles and the guy with the pointy hat is the wizard, the one without shoes is the hobbit - no confusion!
(Perhaps I like fantasy movies for that reason. There's the elf, the dwarf and the human, not just the man, the man and the other man.)

If somebody I know didn't recognise me but then said, "Oh sorry, I have a thing that makes it difficult for me to recognise faces", I'd be like, "okay". Fair enough. Wouldn't bother me at all.

I'm pretty good with faces even if I forget names I can wing it. I would be supportive if I knew someone had face blindness but I understand it's not easy to share. My problem is directions. I rely totally on sat nav. I can only see journeys in fragments so landmarks don't help. Before sat nav I just avoided going anywhere or got into a blind panic about getting lost. I can literally not know which way to turn out of the cul de sac where I live. Here's the joke. My job is peripatetic! I've never been abroad and I don't think I ever will.

I thought that the not recognising people out of context was quite a widespread thing? I've definitely heard of it before and when I was a barmaid, I had regular customers who I chatted with every week who didn't recognise me outside work.

It's names that I struggle with. Funny that someone mentioned the Hobbit, I really struggle with that film knowing who each character is. I'll have to watch it a few more times before I can figure it all out, especially as they all sound similar (to me at least). Also, if I'm reading a newspaper article or something, and it quotes someone as saying something, if that name gets mentioned again further down the article, I have no idea who it is and have to scroll back to remind myself. I remember the quote, but not the name. It's almost like my brain just skips over it.

It's not something that would worry me if someone said they had it; I'm far more likely to be really interested.

I was at Uni with the woman who won the UK Prize for best final year student research project, which she had done on prosopagnosi; she'd found a chap with developmental prosopagnosia which at that point was considered to not exist, it was assumed that all cases were as a result of brain damage. This guy was just born that way, as you were. It was a brilliant project, no wonder she got a First.

Anyway, I would only ask you about it if we became friends, I wouldn't just jump on you! Equally, it wouldn't put me off. We're all different.

While it seems easy to explain, my experience (and I'm very open about my prosopagnosia both socially and at work) is that the majority of people are very nice about it but still fully expect you to recognise them. Or turn the conversation to how they're awful with names.

I have a standard 'I've walked past my own husband and introduced myself to a family member at a party' spiel, but even so I think my hit rate of people really understanding and remembering is about 20%. And a tiny proportion of people actually tell me who they are each time they see me - obviously I have no idea how many don't, but it's fingers of one hand who do tell me who they are when we meet out of context. I'm so grateful to the one school mum who does! She even points out other mums to me when I need to find so-and-so's mum to sign a card or give a donation, which otherwise is completely impossible for me.

i would say something like 'hey, just so you're aware, i have prosopagnosia and it means i can't recognise faces, so next time you see me just remind me who you are and then i'll remember.'

a neighbour a couple of doors up from me said something similar except she's legally blind. can see vaguely but not from a distance and she told me not to get offended if she doesn't know me next time i see her. she doesn't recognise me and i'm not offended. if i'm close to her i say hello and it's all fine.

Although I don't have the condition and don't have first hand experience, my partner does; I have seen the effects of living with the condition, which can be quite catastrophic. He's a teacher and each September's a nightmare for him (and us at home as he gets super-stressed) trying to learn new names etc. You have my full sympathy and I hope you are able to navigate life without too many hitches. Have you read this article? www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/nice-to-meet-youagain-what-its-like-living-with-face-blindness/

I haven't read the whole thread, but wanted to say "me too!". I recognise people mostly by their haircuts. I find it very embarrassing sometimes - when my children were small I had to always memorise what they were wearing so I would be able to pick them out in a crowd, and like a poster upthread, when my daughter dances and is in a row of girls in the same clothes and with the same hairdo I find it very hard.

Watching films is so confusing. My mum is constantly going "Oh, you know who that is, don't you?" and "There's a face I recognise" and I am sat there thinking "Nope".

The fact I am a supply teacher makes it even trickier... I memorise where children are sat, and then allocate hairdos to the names, which helps when they get up and move around. But then the next day the girl's come in with different hairstyles... And trying to match parents to children... :S

I have this!! Faces and directions!! Not read the whole thread but will do later! I find it really difficult to recognise people out of context! I also can travel somewhere 100 tomes and still not know the way!

And I never remember plots of movies or books. I remember that I've seen/read them and whether I liked them, but can't remember the story especially the endings!

Great thread. I am useless at recognising people. Both DH and DD are brilliant. DH is particuarly annoying as he tends to say "did you see soandso", when the person is someone I have not seen for ages and would love to have spoken to. But he only tells me afterwards.

Equally it is embarrassing when someone greets me, and I don't know who on earth they are other than an awareness that they seem familiar. I realise that in compensation I tend to remember lots of detail about someone, and then search for clues in the conversation. So I remember where they are from, or what they do, or really odd things. I must come accross as quite odd as I switch from being really vague to putting someone in context and knowing a lot about them.

It must be awful for a teacher. I never knew which of DDs teachers had taught DS, but as a parent less is expected.

I have this too. When we first met at university dh used to get annoyed at me for being 'rude' and not acknowledging people I knew when walking down the street. Once he twigged I genuinely had no idea who they were, even if I had been in a tutorial with them every week for a term, he started prompting me as they approached. He has continued to do this systematically for the last 25 years.

He also used to do this with movies, as I would otherwise get totally lost. So when a character walked into the scene, he would immediately whisper the name (or just 'goody'/'baddie', as I'm not great with names either.

I wouldn't say that I have it, but I have difficulties identifying people out of context. Between years of supply teaching, volunteering, fitness classes and baby groups, I am frequently recognised. Over time I've got more confident at saying that they look familiar, but I can't place them and people take it well. Often people that you see often in small talk situations will be quite happy if they ask you to remind you of their name as they often can't remember yours. My admission that I can't remember a name has often bern gratefully recieved!

I strongly learn people through location (seating plans in the classroom) and I'll often get the first letter of their name in my head.

I've realised that one reason why I'm struggling to recognise brownies these days is that virtually all of them have very long hair and have it plaited differently each week. 10 years ago, there was a lot more variation in lengths and more distinctive, consistent looks to the girls.

This thread has been fascinating. I did the online test and scored 33. I recognised the other faces but have never known what their names were. I think that just proves that I don't like most contemporary music and don't watch late night American chat shows.

I'll be more aware of it now, certainly. I work in a massive office so there's bound to be people there who have this.

I did the test and scored 45, but I already knew that I have this! I read once that we have 'elaborate coping mechanisms' to get by - such as writing notes of what people look like at meetings etc. I used to work as a relationship manager and met groups of people maybe monthly or quarterly, all across the country. I had lists of descriptions and used to record who xx reminded me of (e.g. they look a bit like so-and-so) - works a treat as long as you don't meet the person unexpectedly in a lift or at another work venue...! I once failed to recognise a girl I shared a house with for a year, when she called into my work a couple of years later! She and I had lived together, then I just thought she looked vaguely familiar - so embarrassing! But I have never told anyone (apart from the usual 'oh I'm awful at faces'), I don't know why......

I have the opposite. I can recognise peope I met once, 15 years ago, at a party. Obviously they never recognise me back and then I look like a weirdo stalker. Sometimes I overcompensate in advance by pretending not to recognise people and then they turn out to recognise me...

I appreciate face blindness is worse though!

hsndy tip try train urself to recognise voice or keep people talking until u pick up on where u may know them from. Im visually impaired have bee since 6 months and at 35 have spent most of my life doing this. As many years ago lived indenial so many people didn't know I can't see great as I didn't have a dog until 30 and wouldn't use a cane either. So although it's a slightly different issue hopefully these tips may work for u. If u get lost easy try google maps I used it before I got a Trekker the proper blind sat nav. Lol

Oh I think I did a different test (from the link on page 1). Just did the face one and scored 9, thought I did really well considering I really don't know a lot of the people on there!! Also noticed refs to being an early reader - I could read at 3 and have always been a bookworm! My nephew has Aspergers and has always struggled with recognising people, so maybe there is a link, though I don't think I am on the spectrum. (My son is, but he was a donor egg baby so no link there). My daughter is brilliant at faces though, she has saved me several embarrassing incidents!

Why should you be embarrassed? Are you embarrassed about your eye colour? It's part of who you are and there is nothing you can do about it. You just need an 'elevator pitch' that you can fire off each time it happens. Ideally, if you have the strength, make a joke of it. Poke a little gentle fun at yourself and it will immediately put people at ease. There's a lot of humour in my family about my father having aspergers or mild autism. He jokingly refers to himself as 'an aspergian'. It could be debilitating or depressing but we make light of it and he rubs along happily and completely accepts it.

Interesting. I have often wondered why it is that I take so long to "embed" a face in my memory, when other people seem to have no trouble.

I need to have seen a person multiple times before I can remember who they are. In fact, I find that I often recognise someone when they start to speak, as I remember their voice more than their face, especially if they have a particular way of speaking or an accent.