To be so embarrassed and feel tired of being the way I am?

[VioletBam]

I've always had difficulties recognising people and have also always had problems with getting lost.

I can't recognise people that I know. Recently I discovered this condition was "an actual thing" called prosopagnosia. Most people call it Face Blindness.

I am not VERY bad with it...I know my own family for instance. But if I see for example...one of my children's teachers outside the confines of their classroom, then I won't know them from Adam.

All my life I have had situations where people would just start talking to me...and I'd have no idea who they were.

Sometimes they'd say things like "Don't you know me?" or "It's X! From Y!" and get annoyed.

Well it's just happened again. I'm in Australia and it's day here. I was walking down a street which is long and eventually leads to my own. There had been a procession in the village...and DD and I were returning.

A woman was walking behind us...she smiled and caught up with DD and I and said "Do you take the short cut or go the long way?"

And I looked blankly at her and said "I usually go the long way or I get lost...but how do you know where I'm going?"

Then DD said "Mum! It's Emily's Mum!"

Emily is DD's friend...she lives on our street...three doors up. I have this woman's number...she has been round to my house to collect her DD. I've met her husband. I've met this woman about 30 times since we moved in a year ago.

I decided to be open and said "I have face blindness" and she just laughed and carried on chatting.

Does she now think I'm a weirdo or rude?

It's happened SO often. I also get lost all the time. And can't recognise our car or the cars of other people I should do.

I'm sick of it!

In that test I didn't recognise Marilyn Monroe because there were no cues with hair or dress

So glad you posted this op.

I think I have this but in a milder form.

It's awful.
I'm sure people must think I'm rude but in fact I don't remember who they are.

I also get lost remarkedly easily.
Got lost around a strange hotel to the point where I was almost crying in frustration

My dc can't understand it, they say how the hell did you manage to not know where you are. It's hard to explain to people who don't suffer with it.

Those who matter dont mind , those who mind dont matter , just be upfront tell everyone you meet and dont be embarassed about something you cant help

I have reverse face blindness. So a little lightbulb goes on in my head every time I look at someone's face. I guess it makes me seem friendly but it's not very nice stood there smiling while my conscious brain is trying to think through if it's true recognition and then where I know people from. It's been three years, at least I can now smile and not just stare/ look puzzled. However, it's exhausting and difficult in crowds.

I have the same problem OP. I can recognise people I see every day, like my immediate family or the postman, but I rarely recognise anyone else. I've found that if I can pick out one particular thing about a person (unusual ears, or a mole or something) and remember that thing about them, then I can accurately guess who they are.

Fortunately my husband has an excellent sense of direction and never forgets a name or face. If I meet someone when I'm out with him, he whispers their name to me or says "Oh, hello Mary" or whatever. Then as soon as they've gone he explains who they were.

If my husband isn't with me then I just admit to not remembering the person's name and explain that I've even not recognised my mother once, when she'd had a haircut (this is true!). Nobody has been really offended yet, they just seem to think I'm a bit dizzy.

My friend has prosopagnosia, which has caused her no end of embarrassing incidents over the years. She has found the best way to deal with it is to be absolutely open about it with everyone she knows and meets. So, if she is introduced to someone new, she will say how lovely it was to meet them, and that if they see her again to remind her who they are as she has prosopagnosia so won't be able to put their name to their face at all. This then avoids any offence being taken by others.

She doesn't recognise her own children half the time - she'll stand in the playground waiting for her kids to come out, then wonder who the little girl peering up at her quizzically is, before realising it is her DD. And yes, seeing people out of context makes it much worse, so she does emphasise that to people too. For example she'll say to people at work, 'If you see me in the supermarket, I'll have no clue where I know you from, as it's not the place my brain expects to see you, so again, don't be offended and just say hi it's x, when you come over'.

I know this is embarrassing for you OP, but I truly believe that going on and on about it to anyone who will listen will make this much less awkward for you. Maybe send an email explaining it to your colleagues?

I'm one of 4 siblings and three of us have this. I find meeting people out of their usual context incredibly difficult. Conversely,mperhaps ocassionally I will recognise someone from years ago or some such. It's a weird thing.

Ds is quite generic looking, brown hair, beard, slim physique and I quite often see young men and can't be quite sure. And film, well, my favourite kind are one white man, one dark man with a beard and one totally bald man . I did not get on with The Sopranos...

I'm pretty upfront with people if I've mistakenly ignored them or can't think who they are. I have a good memory for facts about them so once we've established who they are I can follow up with a solicitous enquiry after their ingrown toenail or angry cat.

This is fascinating - I wonder if my nana had it. She was always so smiley and friendly to everyone, whether she knew them or not, and she said once to me that she never recognised people so she treated everyone as if they were a good friend so she never hurt people's feelings. I always assumed she was short sighted, but maybe she had this.

I have a mild version of face blindness where I can't recognise people out of context. I do make a joke of it and tell everyone not to be offended if I don't say hello. I've been known to walk past DH if he shaves or takes his glasses off and have often waved at a young fella who I mistake for DS (even though the only similarity is that he has dark hair and skin). Funnily enough I can generally find my way around outdoors but I totally get lost in hotels and such. I spent 3 years training in the same hospital and still managed to get lost each time I changed wards 😱 The Drs used to joke that I needed directions just to cross the corridor!

Mymouth it's not as straightforward as that on my experience - ive been in front an operation and not realised the person speaking to me was the person I saw earlier that day and repeated details

I went for a meal once at a friends house and then on the Sunday sat next to one of their guests at church and made polite conversation - only later I realised when my husband said it was the same person. It makes forming friendships really hard.

Work wise - not recognising colleagues is difficult. People laugh the first few times but when you've seen them day in day out and don't know who they are it's really hard.

My midwife asked which health visitor I had - there's a black one and a white one and I honestly didn't know which one I'd had. People think you're stupid/odd etc.

Obviously close friends know (and I tend to recognise them) but it's a real impairment in the everyday interactions where you don't have time/not appropriate to explain.. Person who bumps into you in the library that you see regularly (apparently) but no idea who you are.

People who feel slighted as they've met you and then next time you see them you seem "off" with them. Of course if you get to know them well enough you can explain (and I do! My friends point out teachers and children for me at school. Oh yes, going on a school trip and panicking you'll not recognise the 4 kids you are assigned, not knowing which teacher is which... )

Yes to easily getting lost as well - I once got lost in a part of the city I'd walked through regularly for years, because instead of exiting from the usual Tube station I was dropped off a few streets away by car. I couldn't mentally rotate the map in my head to figure out which turns to take. If I go anywhere new I print out a map with the road names on, so I can find my way around.

I have this, along with dyspraxia. It is very frustrating. It's a small thing, but one issue I have is that I can no longer follow the plot of certain TV shows as I can't tell characters apart. Hardest are shows with several 'standard Hollywood men' - Caucasian men, medium build, chiselled features, short dark hair.

junebirthdaygirl That's an actual thing too, it's called something like Super Recogniser and they are very useful to the police in ways that face recognition soft ware fails.

I have a degree of faceblindness but not to your degree OP, I'ld recognise someone after 30 or so meetings, but the first few times I speak to someone I couldn't tell you their hair colour or anything 5 minutes later.

Unfortunately I'm very bad with names too. So when I can't describe the person by name people say "was it the lady with red hair?" and I have no idea, and people think i'm weird.

People can have REALLY distinctive features and I won't remember them - like evenblue hair etc. The only way I can start to piece their face together is by learning information about them, like family, children, where they live.. once I do that their face/features sort of begin to "stick"

I've also been treated as hostile by the police when I couldn't do a description of someone I spoke to at a distance of about a foot away from me!

Dating was WEIRD. I would remember that I thought they were good looking but couldn't tell you why, and their face would be blank in between dates. Couldn't describe them to friends etc. I'ld only recognise them again when they approached me

I don't have a problem with getting lost particularly, but I can't do driving directions in reverse: DH can follow driving directions on the outward journey and then he knows how to get back. I need to use the satnav both there and back

it's names and faces/hair/features for me
I can remember what people said, but can't describe who said it at all!

Another one here :) you're not alone OP!! Mine is mild but I've had the occasional embarrassing situation. And I can't follow films or tv series at all - OH is very good at proving running commentary for me, bless him! In RL I use clothing styles, hair cuts, glasses etc and regional accents to help. I am quite open about it, generally people are quite interested rather than just thinking I'm a weirdo...

Yes to cars too! Someone can have given me a lift somewhere but when we get back to the car park later I have no idea which one it was, I can't even narrow it down.

What i meant was the more people that know the better because then if person x tells person y , i bumped into so and so and they were so rude didnt even say hello or stop to chat then if y knows what the problem is can say oh she doesnt mean it but has a condition that stops her recognising people then x can choose to be sympathetic and nice or be an asshole about it , which is where the people who matter dont mind and the people who mind dont matter comes in , just be open about it and im sure people will be more sympathetic

I have this. With work I often have to meet up a group of people I see about every six months with some variations. I go around doing the double kiss thing and then often find I'm startling someone because I air-kissed them about three minutes previously. Usually because they were wearing a pink cardigan and then they took it off.

More embarrassing it introducing myself to someone at a party and them saying, god toffee, it's me, looking at me like I'm a flake.

DS was playing with his friend recently on a trampoline. The friend got off and went to do something else and another kid got on. I asked DS where his friend was and he say, he's here! No, that's a different kid DS.

However, I would never introduce myself to someone saying oh by the way I have facial blindness so don't be offended if... I just think it's a bit much.

So glad to read this thread, I'm sorry you all have it too, but I feel a bit less alone!

I have it too; during a recent inspection I acted on management's advice to approach 'strangers lurking around the very small college' as they may either be people who should not be in the college or inspectors needing help. I asked a member of the senior management team who they were and could I help them! Felt mortified! Colleagues found it hilarious!
Teaching in a college is tough with this; always bumping into learners out and about and have no idea of their names although I do kind of know they're familiar in some way but don't know if they're current students, ex students or friends of my own DC.
My kids have frequently asked why I ignored so & so's Mum when she waved as she drove past. Only for me to say that I saw no-one wave.
I read loads and very fast.

DeadGood, I appreciate you're trying to give helpful advice, but honestly it's really just not possible to explain it to everyone you meet every day

^this

I find it sometimes makes it worse. Especially if like me it's mild, and you do regonise some people. If you say "face blindness" people think of extreme holywood movie type face blindness where you don't recognise your partner or your own reflection. If you say it when it's mild, and you recognise the collueague you have lunch with every day but not the receptionist you say good morning to every morning… people think you're just being weird/dramatic or letting yourself off the hook to "not bother"

Oh and speaking of saying "good morning" - I've been known to have the same conversation with the same person just incase it's a different person: If I think the receptionist after lunch is a different person to the one before lunch, but actually the shift hasn't changed yet, and I speak to them as if I haven't seen them already that day (like: "hi, how are you? did you have a good weekend?" - when I asked them about their weekend 2 hours earlier, but i don't realise its the same person unitl they say the same thing as the person I already asked)

The getting lost and the face blindness thing often go together.

Come and join us! Friendly forum that will make you feel much better and a link to researchers who are looking into tests and treatments.

www.gettinglost.ca/content.php

I also mistake complete strangers for people I know vey well.
Happened only last week. I saw who I thought was x at an event. Noticed her several times then I went up to her and started talking to her , calling her by name ect . It was only after several minutes of her looking at me blankly that I realised it wasn't x.
She was actually about 20 plus years younger than x an larger but I still mistook her.

What i meant was the more people that know the better because then if person x tells person y , i bumped into so and so and they were so rude didnt even say hello or stop to chat then if y knows what the problem is can say oh she doesnt mean it but has a condition that stops her recognising people

No, in my experience, someone pipes up with "no they don't! they recognise me!/my DD" and they all think you're a weirdo making up conditions you don't have.

It might be different if you have it in a severe consistant way where you don't recognise anyone.

But I just have some people I can know for a very long time whose face just doesn't seem to "stick", but other people's faces stick better and I know them after just a few meetings.

The more I find out about them initially the more their faces stick for me. Which is why its much harder at work where you don't have a lot of time for social chatting.

Then you have the "fun" of people testing you: "who is that then?" "so you do regognise them"

Mymouth. I'm very open about it. It's still a big problem for me. I dont see what you're not getting

Have you got it and it doesn't bother you or you don't have it and you're minimising others experiences?