To not be sympathetic towards dh?

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DH wears contact lenses and has done since I met him 8 years ago. He doesn't particularly take care of them and although they are monthly disposables, he will keep them in for months at a time. He never takes them out, not for showering, swimming or when he sleeps. He doesn't own a pair of glasses.

A few weeks ago he ended up with a bit of a nasty eye infection which lasted a whole week, meaning he couldn't do anything or go anywhere because he had to take out his lenses and he couldn't see. It made him miserable to be around because it put him in a bad mood. This is the second time it has happened this year.

He had a contact lens appointment which he didn't bother to go to because his eye was okay again. He also hasn't ordered some glasses like he said he would.

So AIBU to have been annoyed with him this evening when he tells me his eye is hurting AGAIN?

He obviously thinks I am because he was looking for sympathy but tbh I'm just annoyed at him.

reminder to self, i will never use contact lenses after reading this !

Mrsfuzzy contacts were a revelation for me. I started wearing glasses as a small child and by the time I was 18 my eyesight had deteriorated to the extent that I couldn't safely go outside without them. Back then contacts were not as easy to use as they are now and I was put off the idea of putting something in my eye. Then when I was in my late 20s I had a nasty fall from a horse that left me concussed and broke my glasses frames. I realised that I was lucky the lenses hadn't smashed as well.

That was then I started wearing contacts. For the first time that I could remember I had decent peripheral vision, not some blurry mess just to the edge of the bit I could actually focus in. I had better depth perception - heck, even colours looked different. I suddenly realised why religious conversion experiences are described in terms of regained sight. It was fantastic - I could cycle in the rain and see properly. I could walk into a pub on a cold day and not be lost in a mist. And I worked out that the lenses just sit on the tear film of your eye.

I love my contact lenses and I would hate not to be able to wear them. Which is why I have a couple of days a week without them, the occasional week not wearing them at all and am scrupulous about keeping them as clean as I can. I could still have problems but honestly, they're so amazing I'll take a small risk. What I won't do is play fast and loose with my eyesight.

Since I was 16 I've switched between contacts and glasses, depending on my mood and if I can prise my eyes open first thing in the morning . Are daily disposables not an option for him? I was always scrupulously clean with annual contacts even if cleaning them was a pain in the arse, and found daily ones a massive revelation. I've always thought that you only get one pair of eyes, and I wouldn't do anything that could fuck them up.

Shemozzle
Opticians do not recommend sleeping lenses, even the kind that say you can, anymore. It does risk eye infections and ulcers. You also let a lot less oxygen to the eye.
You need eye tests too, obviously.
It's only s matter of time.

Op I'd give him the warning then quit listening to him bitch.
When I was 16 I got my first set of lenses. I didn't do what I was supposed to do, care for them? Nah. I had monthly lenses, used them for months on end to save money. By almost 18 I was sent to hospital by gp, eyes weeping (lenses still in!) and hospital read me the riot act.
Long story short, I'd had bad sight for 10yrs, I was on the verge of going blind. I had such ulcerations that they had to use all kinds of drops creams and potions. I wasn't allowed to use lenses for 3yrs (they'd told me never again) and now I have scarring so bad that my eyesight is permanently affected. I now use daily lenses or my glasses. He'll go blind if he's not careful, I'm not kidding.

I'm very surprised that he is still getting them - even online. It must be some dodgy company he is dealing with, as any contact lens supplier that is reputable (online or not) will require proof of a recent contact lens check.

It's really easy to get them prescription free and cheap online. I do that. I have a prescription, but don't ever supply proof. I just type in the measurements.

My DP and a friend both have 'continuous wear' lenses (can wear all day and sleep in them for up to a month).

DP - has always been meticulous about giving his eyes a break and wearing glasses for at least a week a month. Has had minor eye infections but nothing major.

Friend - has worn lenses continuously for up to 6 weeks before inserting a new pair (day and night). Has had an ulcer on her eye; luckily for her it's on the white of her eye not the pupil, so her eyesight is unaffected, but she's basically got less that 24 months of being able to
Wear lenses before the damage become irreversible.

I wear daily disposables, no ponder than 12 hours per day, and frequent day-long breaks. My glasses were free on my lens scheme but would have been £25 without - not chosen for price but because they suited me best.

Your husband is playing with fire and may soon irrevocably damage his eye.

Great to hear positives of contact lenses Gabilan. My teenage son has poor eyesight and will most likely move towards contact lenses. But even I know all the riot act about NEVER wearing them swimming, keeping them clean etc.

OP hasn't been back but I hope all is OK with her and her stubborn kamakaze H. Like many posters I felt squeamish just reading about it never mind living it.

Your DH is pathetic, really he is. Can't you tell him that you won't be his carer when (not if) he goes blind in one eye or both?

And why doesn't he want laser surgery? 10 minutes and never another problem. Trouble is his eyes have to be healthy to have surgery and I doubt they are. But he might be able to rectify the health of his eyes then have something done.

I wore gas permeable lenses for decades and at a ripe old age had a procedure (not laser and v expensive) which has given me perfect sight. I was wearing glasses from very little and really didn't know what it was like to be able to 'see'. ... and now I am totally reborn with wonderful sight near and far, every morning I wake up and am in awe that I can see and it's been 2 years since I had it done! It's made me realise how lucky people are who have good sight because I am now one of them.

I can't believe anyone can be so twatty as your DH, I would be so furious.

All the online opticians I've used have asked for details of my prescription and it has been verified by the optician. I'm on a 20 month recall and that has caused a problem as they don't want to sell me lenses with a prescription over 12 months old.

I currently wear daily disposables but I'm going to be trying monthly lenses as I can't afford dailies any more unfortunately. £40 a month is too much.

I have worn my lenses in the pool on holiday (I don't swim, just bask) but I throw them away afterwards. If I do end up with monthlies I'll still get the odd box of dailies just for holiday.

I used to be more gung ho about my lenses but I had a scare when I was told the blood vessels we getting closer to my eyes. I switched to silicone lenses and now everything is fine. I can still wear the lenses 7 days a week (more so in the summer as I can't get on with prescription sunnies) but I wear them for a shorter time. Your husband is being stupid to take chances with his eyes.

Also, to people saying 'just have laser surgery', it's not always that simple. I was going to have it done and, on the day, the surgeon wouldn't do LASIK, only LASEK, and that wasn't an option due to the longer recovery time.

There are also risks involved with laser surgery so it's not a simple decision.

There is always risk with any type of surgery. My DD has had laser surgery and her life is transformed TBH, she was just getting more and more problems with eye infections/lenses, not due to laziness or bad hygiene. Also same for meand my op, it was the very best thing I ever did.

If he hates glasses so much maybe he should have corrective eye surgery
I've had it and it is amazing

I've worn contacts for 26 years, although these days only about once a week as I prefer glasses, as I don't find contacts as comfortable as I used to. I have never had an eye infection. It's not a given. I am utterly bemused by his attitude. Is he similarly wrong headed and stubborn on other things? Because I have to say, these aren't the actions of a rational, NT adult.

I've got a few optician friends. They are all unanimous that they would never have laser eye surgery due to the lack of long-term data on it.

I think cost is the main reason he won't consider laser eye surgery. It isn't something we can really afford right now as we are trying to save like mad to buy a bigger house.

His reason for not going to his lens appointment was because he hadn't told his work about it and he was worried it would make him look bad. Mind you, the week before one of the directors went out and bought him some eye drops on his lunch break because he really was that bad. I'm sure his work wouldn't have minded.

He has conceded that I am indeed right and he says he will sort it. We shall see

I wouldn't have eye surgery myself. For one thing my eyes are so bad it wouldn't entirely correct them. Even were that not the case, I don't see the point in having surgery when I have no problem with glasses and contacts. I know some people are happy with it, but it isn't for everyone.

And OP's DH doesn't sound like a good candidate for lasering anyway.

If he can't engage with everyday contact lens care (which is very simple), would he comply with aftercare & appointments? You'd hope that a decent surgeon would decline to operate.

I had corrective eye surgery 20 years ago
Yes risks but changed my life
It cost 10000
But you can pay on dd
Mind u I now need specs to read
My glasses used to rub my v sensitive skin and contacts used to give me v v dry eyes - sometime s they curled up and flicked over when wearing - I hated them .

It doesn't cost £10K now, I was quoted about £2500 per eye but I can go abroad to our family's home country and get both done for that price. I'd never have it done abroad as if I had a problem I'd be fucked.

It doesn't change the fact you'll need reading glasses as that's down to how hard your muscles in your eye can focus, but having it done will bring your overall reading prescription down as it'll be your distance prescription + reading addition.

Have also seen people who have it done tend to get cataracts 10 years earlier on average, but everyone gets cataracts eventually anyway.

If I had the money I'd totally have it done. My cornea is irregularly shaped in one eye and gives me semi high astigmatism, while I have none in the other.

Oops I meant 1k not 10 k !

As a contact lenses wearer I'm reading this like . How utterly stupid. If I fall asleep for a little bit with my lenses in it feels like I've peeled off a layer of my eye with them so I can't even imagine what it feels like to keep them in for months.

He can safely wear lenses he doesn't need to take out he's just being a fucking stupid selfish twat to not want to do it. Bet you have to do everything when he can't see because he has an infection. Book him an appointment and march him down there!