To not be sympathetic towards dh?

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DH wears contact lenses and has done since I met him 8 years ago. He doesn't particularly take care of them and although they are monthly disposables, he will keep them in for months at a time. He never takes them out, not for showering, swimming or when he sleeps. He doesn't own a pair of glasses.

A few weeks ago he ended up with a bit of a nasty eye infection which lasted a whole week, meaning he couldn't do anything or go anywhere because he had to take out his lenses and he couldn't see. It made him miserable to be around because it put him in a bad mood. This is the second time it has happened this year.

He had a contact lens appointment which he didn't bother to go to because his eye was okay again. He also hasn't ordered some glasses like he said he would.

So AIBU to have been annoyed with him this evening when he tells me his eye is hurting AGAIN?

He obviously thinks I am because he was looking for sympathy but tbh I'm just annoyed at him.

Why doesnt he just get laser eye surgery? In and out in 10 minutes, had to take drops for a few weeks and lubricating drops for a couple of months but its the best thing i ever did.

I once forgot to take out my contact lenses at night ; woke up the morning & thought that there had been a miracle to restore my short-sightedness!

YANBU! My oh did the and ended up with ulcers on both eyes. It has permanently affected his vision now. He is devastated that he did that to himself

What kind of lenses does he wear op?

I had acanthammobea keratitis (2nd person in England to get it). It was horrific. They scraped my eye once whilst awake then again when I was out.

I was blind for about 6 weeks, had to move back yo my mums as couldn't be left on my own. Hospital for 2 weeks. All because I also believed it wouldn't happen to me !!

DH scratched his cornea a few years ago, he still has to put drops in his eye every night because he didn't go yo the hospital until it was too late.

Neon my eyes are so short sighted laser surgery isn't recommended as they would have to cut so much away.

It's not suitable for everyone.

I have astigmatism in both eyes and a fairly strong prescription as well. Laser eye surgery wouldn't work for me.

As a contact lense wearer, I am amazed

On the very rare occasion i had fallen asleep drunk in my lenses, the next day my eyes were as dry as hell! How he does it regularly I don't know.

Good luck, OP. He's lucky to have you take this so seriously !

Nope. When they bring it on themselves they get no sympathy from me. Cold hearted bitch, me.

Show him this album of pics of a woman who got a tiny bit of glitter stuck in her eye. After multiple rounds of antibiotics, she had to have the eye removed. If that is what glitter can do, then a contact lense will really fuck up the eyes.

Warning, not for the faint of heart and the squeamish.

imgur.com/gallery/Rtexn

My uncle used to wear contact lenses and he really did seem to take care of them.

However obviously he went wrong somewhere and got an eye infection, which then turned into an eye ulcer.

Long story short, he had to have the eye removed and have a glass / plastic eye put in its place. The sight in his remaining eye isn't as good as the sight in the removed eye was so one day he might not have any sight at all.

Therefore in answer to your question YANBU. If he can't be bothered to look after his own contact lenses than he doesn't deserve your sympathy. I don't wish to sound too harsh but it is truly pathetic that an adult can't manage to do this. My friend's DD has CLs and she manages to look after them and she is only 13.

The thing to remember with eyes is that you only get one set of them and if you destroy them they can't be replaced and they are a pretty difficult thing to manage life without.

Yanbu

My ex used to be like this. Had disposables rarely changed them....

He was generally a minger I soon realised didn't have very good hygeine standard generally.

Vom

Google stories about people who have gone blind from contact lens (mis)use! There are plenty. Print them up and leave them around the house, in the car etc until he gets the message.

I seriously cannot believe how fucking stupid he's being about his eyesight! I have worn glasses most of my life, I've only now (in my 30s) got around to using contacts. Monthly disposables, I use them about 3/4 times a week. I would love to be able to keep contacts in forever and hey presto my eyesight is 'fixed' - but it doesn't work like that.

Would he consider laser eye surgery? I'm guessing he'd need regular opticians appointments for that? If you offered to help pay towards it as a Christmas/Birthday gift would he consider it do you think? would it maybe help encourage him to get to the opticians regularly so he could have it done?

If none of that works then could you possibly intercept the post and seek and destroy all contact lenses he has delivered?

Thanks all. Will probably show him this thread.

I offered to go to the optician with him. And I told him he needs to phone tomorrow morning first thing to make an appointment. I got accused of treating him like a child.

I admit I have been less than sympathetic. I have told him I don't want to hear it because it is his own fault. The last time this happened I tried everything I could to get him to see someone about it. His eye was completely red, he could hardly open it and it was very painful. He couldn't look at light either. He still went to work, just drove there and back with one lens in (don't even get me started how angry I was about that).

He had said I care more about being right than I do his eye. No, I know I'm right and he does too! The last thing I want is for him to damage his sight but I've just left him to it now.

Haven't read the whole thread so apologies if it has already been suggested but would he get laser eye surgery?
My siblings both had really bad eyesight and got sick of glasses and contacts and are thrilled with the results.

He isn't keen on laser eye surgery.

He gets his lenses delivered to work. I don't know which website he gets them from but will find out.

I think you've been really helpful offering to go with him....

It's really grim

I'd class it the same as not brushing teeth.

It's really lazy

Eeeeewwwwww! I wear fort nightly contacts (used to wear dailies but they irritated my eyes too much) but I pretty much always take them out as soon as I get home from work and only wear my glasses at home. I only fall asleep in them when I'm drunk! To shower with them in is particularly grim.

I've read some serious horror stories about people who never take their lenses out.

Oh my god, I work in an opticians and your story is a horrifying read! He's going to well and truly fuck his eyes up at this rate, he's been very lucky to have not had any serious problems so far, but if he carries on like he is he will do I guarantee it .

I bet you any money he doesn't want to go to the opticians because he KNOWS they'll tell him to stop wearing lenses. Also if he's damaged his cornea from his lenses then he won't be able to have laser eye surgery in the future anyway.

Eek I have accidentally passed out drunk fallen asleep with contacts in and I can barely see the next day. They get welded to your eyes.

When I first got contacts as a teen they were the long lasting ones and you had to faff about with solutions and soaks. I was really lazy and didn't do it properly at all but I knew I was being crap so one of the first things I did when I started earning money was get daily disposables because I was scared my laziness would result in real damage.

Is he really lazy or tight? The not taking them out at night sounds lazy so perhaps daily disposables are worth a shot. Most opticians have 5 day free samples to try if he asks about switching.

Also OP tell him to check out the Boots contact lens scheme. Free eye tests, half price glasses, and you have to go for an eye test at least once a year or they don't send you any more lenses.

He will just order them online, even if he is told to stop wearing them.

I told him he was being a selfish idiot. He didn't seem to agree.

DH is blind in one eye through no fault of his own. It's a total pain in the arse. His driving is shit, his good eye gets tired and he looks weird when he's tired because one wanders a bit. You really don't want to lose sight, it's not pleasant.

WARNING BOTH OF THESE ARE GROSS BUT HE NEEDS TO SEE THEM.

Show him this - these are corneal ulcers which he's going to get if he keeps over wearing his lenses.

And Acanthamoeba is the most serious one he can get - if he gets that in his eye it will cause immense damage and leave him most likely partially sighted or blind in the eye. It's found in water, if water gets trapped against your eye for extended periods of time with a contact lens, that's how you get acanthomoeba. More [http://eyecare.lenstore.co.uk/truth-behind-eye-eating-parasite here] about acanthamoeba.