To not be sympathetic towards dh?

[validusername]

DH wears contact lenses and has done since I met him 8 years ago. He doesn't particularly take care of them and although they are monthly disposables, he will keep them in for months at a time. He never takes them out, not for showering, swimming or when he sleeps. He doesn't own a pair of glasses.

A few weeks ago he ended up with a bit of a nasty eye infection which lasted a whole week, meaning he couldn't do anything or go anywhere because he had to take out his lenses and he couldn't see. It made him miserable to be around because it put him in a bad mood. This is the second time it has happened this year.

He had a contact lens appointment which he didn't bother to go to because his eye was okay again. He also hasn't ordered some glasses like he said he would.

So AIBU to have been annoyed with him this evening when he tells me his eye is hurting AGAIN?

He obviously thinks I am because he was looking for sympathy but tbh I'm just annoyed at him.

I have monthly disposables. I wear them 5 days a week for between 6 and 12 hours. I never sleep in them though I might have a 20 minute snooze occasionally I dispose of them after a month - they're just not comfortable after that.

The rest of the time I wear glasses. They're not much fun but they are infinitely better than losing some sight or going blind by overuse of contacts. I'd be very worried about your DH - he could do irreversible damage.

Maybe you need to change tack.

Tell him you're not going to hassle him anymore and if he wants to go blind then so be it.

Just ignore it and tell him that if he gets another eye infection, you'll do nothing to help him.

Nothing.

YANBU he should wear the lenses properly and maybe he'll avoid infections?!

Valid where on earth is he getting these lens from? You need to report the supplier. You must have aprescription and an eye check from an optician within the last 12 months to be able to buy contact lenses in the uk.

He's being a total idiot. I'd be furious with him. He needs glasses as well he shouldn't be wearing lenses all the time and he needs checked. I get allergic issues every summer and have to stop wearing my lenses for a while. I HATE it but it's better than risking scarring on my cornea.

What. A. Tit.

I think you can probably contact the opticians and provide them with information about your husband's habits / infections etc, if you just say you understand he has an appointment and feel they need to know. They may not be able to say much to you but you'll have passed it on.

Alternatively, and perhaps better, can you go with him to the appointment - that's what I'd be doing, just turn up if he won't let you accompany him ...

I suspect he will need to be shown the damage he has already done and given a clear route forward in order to get him to pay attention. Might well need to be seen by an ophthalmologist rather than just the optician, too.

Good luck!

This is ridiculous.
His eyes must feel like they have sand in them all the time!
It's a real risk wearing lenses in the shower/pool.
Why would he not own glasses? What did he do all week? Could he work without them?
I'm surprised his optician still agrees to prescribe contact lenses.

RJnomore1, all of the online suppliers will send you contact lenses without prescription. You type in what you need and click the box saying it is a recent one. I do it all the time, I have a prescription, but I never had to send any proof of it to any online supplier. I always wondered about it.

My husband wears lenses and isn't always prompt at changing them or wearing his glasses.

He had what felt like grit in his eye for a couple of days and couldn't get rid. When he went to the optician, she sent him straight to the eye hospital. It was the start of an abscess - hospital said to husband that he'd come just in time. Had he left it any longer, they would have had to SCRAPE his eye. Wtaf? Vomit.

I left a pair in overnight, and managed to badly graze my eyball when I was removing it because it got a bit stuck. Worst. Pain. Ever.

he will lose his sight if he carries on like this

Some monthly lenses are designed for day and night use, and back in the day I did sleep in mine. These days opticians don't recommend it though.

I switched to daily disposables a couple of years back and my eyes feel much healthier. It's no faff at all really so I'd be strongly pushing your DH towards them.

I'm blind as a bat without my lenses too. I do have glasses but hate wearing them!

I can't wear lenses anymore because the blood vessels grew too close to my irises.

He's a fool

I wore contact lenses for a few years and almost always swapped to my glasses in the evening to give my eyes a break.

I don't wear contacts at all now and haven't for many years. If I am honest, I was terrified of damaging my eyes and/or getting a serious infection (did have conjunctivitis a number of times despite being careful with the hygiene issue around my lenses.

An opthalmologist did explain to me at one of my checks how contact lenses deprive the iris and cornea of oxygen etc. That was it for me. Already a little uncomfortable with the idea of the lenses, I happily gave up and returned to glasses.

I realise that is just my opinion and experience, but your DH needs to take the health of his eyes much more seriously. He is being a dick, all in the name of vanity by the sound of it.

This is a 100% accurate description of my 41yo son. He ended up having to attend Moorfields Eye Hospital for emergency treatment and almost lost the sight in one eye.
Takes better of his eyes now but still a bit cavalier about it all.

Oh my friend does that - sleeps in lenses etc... has done for years. Now he has a problem with his eyes, caused by that. They are constantly red and watering, and it's very annoying apparently. I did tell him... repeatedly.

He's livid at you? I would be moving up to livid x 100 in that case, and telling him that if he wanted to make himself go blind he would be dealing with it on his own because I would have had enough. Seriously, I would be having none of the idea that you have done something wrong here.

I've posted about this before but I knew someone who lost the sight in one eye due to an eye infection caused by wearing lenses while swimming. Acanthamoeba keratitis.

It basically ate his cornea.

He was in hospital for about 3 weeks, and then recuperating at home for several months. It's horrific. Losing the sight in one eye means you have to relearn so many things because of how it affects your vision overall.

Yes the risk of suffering that infection is small. But the consequences are life changing, and it's so easy to avoid getting the infection in the first place.

He's a fucking idiot. Don't give him any sympathy, give him a(nothing) kick up the arse instead. People who take their sight for granted are beyond ridiculous, and that's exactly what he's doing.

Pax you should have to supply details of the optician who carried out your eye exam and by law they are supposed to check with the optician.

Report anyone who isn't.

Better to pay a few pounds more than lose an eye.

I know someone that lost the sight in one eye doing just that. He got an infection that just didn't get better and by the time he decided to go and get it treated it was too late. Your husband is an idiot.

He is being so stupid. As others have said we only get one pair of eyes! I have lenses, have glasses too, been very lucky , never had a problem YET with the lenses, BUT only because I look after them & value my sight.
Tell him he needs to grow up & stop risking his sight!

God, I'd be furious at him!!

As well as an opticians' appointment, he should be considering high-oxygen daily disposable lenses & glasses.

Get him along to Boots opticians - they're currently doing a deal for. 1/2 price glasses if you subscribe to their contact lens scheme. First time in my life I've ever had a pair of glasses for less than £200 (need thin lenses as so short sighted & it's soooo expensive).

Good luck - he sounds like a project!

I've posted about this before but I knew someone who lost the sight in one eye due to an eye infection caused by wearing lenses while swimming. Acanthamoeba keratitis.

It basically ate his cornea.

He was in hospital for about 3 weeks, and then recuperating at home for several months. It's horrific. Losing the sight in one eye means you have to relearn so many things because of how it affects your vision overall.

Yes the risk of suffering that infection is small. But the consequences are life changing, and it's so easy to avoid getting the infection in the first place.

Oh and folks,the newer style lenses do allow oxygen to your eye, thus you can get ones that are supposedly safe to sleep in now though I'd never risk it. The excess blood vessel growth can resolve itself too (mines is improving)

But this - sheer stupidity.

Oops apologies for double post!

crikey - sleeping in contact lenses??