To not be sympathetic towards dh?

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DH wears contact lenses and has done since I met him 8 years ago. He doesn't particularly take care of them and although they are monthly disposables, he will keep them in for months at a time. He never takes them out, not for showering, swimming or when he sleeps. He doesn't own a pair of glasses.

A few weeks ago he ended up with a bit of a nasty eye infection which lasted a whole week, meaning he couldn't do anything or go anywhere because he had to take out his lenses and he couldn't see. It made him miserable to be around because it put him in a bad mood. This is the second time it has happened this year.

He had a contact lens appointment which he didn't bother to go to because his eye was okay again. He also hasn't ordered some glasses like he said he would.

So AIBU to have been annoyed with him this evening when he tells me his eye is hurting AGAIN?

He obviously thinks I am because he was looking for sympathy but tbh I'm just annoyed at him.

Oops link fail, last one should be eyecare.lenstore.co.uk/truth-behind-eye-eating-parasite (no nasty pics on that one!)

He thinks all these things won't happen to him. Says the optician said his eye was healthy (they wouldn't have said that if they had seen him before antibiotic drops).

Now he is saying his eye is only itching because he thinks he has hay fever he doesn't. To which I replied that he shouldn't be wearing lenses at all then!!

He is completely arrogant about it, which isn't a trait he usually has. It's a massive turn off anyway.

Contact lenses are basically like very small Petri dishes- if left uncleaned they're just breeding grounds for bacteria. Swimming and showering with them in is particularly imbecilic- I forgot to take mine out before a shower once and they were practically superglued to my eyeballs!

He thinks all these things won't happen to him.
Oh well, time will tell.

I wonder what he thinks is so special about him that he is "immune" from suffering the same consequences as other people.

He sounds like a bundle of laughs to live with.

Could he get his eyes lasered ?

You can sleep in some types of soft contact lenses - they introduced silicon into the design a few years ago and it makes them oxygen permeable enough to sleep in.

What you can't do is wear them for months on end and not look after them. As others have said he is really playing russian roulette with with eyes, corneal infections can and do turn really nasty and can easily progress to a person requiring a corneal graft or needing to have a badly infected eye removed to prevent damage to the healthy eye.

(There's a rather nasty eye condition called sympathetic ophthalmoplegia where a healthy eye is attacked by the immune system in a response to the other eye being irreparably damaged.)

I was also going to suggest he considers laser surgery.

YANBU. May I make a suggestion? I switched to daily disposables bought online from dailysoftcontact lenses, and they work out the same price as buying monthly from the high street

And I've had no problems thankfully. My problem with monthly was I used to forget to take them out before bed. Now I usually take them out whilst in bed, and dispose of them in the morning. It also means I take a 2 day break from contact lenses a week and wear glasses instead, as my optician recommended.

oh op i feel for you. do the tough love approach and tell him if he wants to go blind go ahead ... but that if he loses his job cos he loses his licence from being BLIND and stupid then that affects the whole family and he is being a prized dick! tell him do what he wants but you no longer want to listen to him moan over something self inflicting. i would personally ring bank card and ask that transactions to the online lenses company be blocked. why should he spend family money on something like that.

His eye was completely red, he could hardly open it and it was very painful. He couldn't look at light either. He still went to work, just drove there and back with one lens in (don't even get me started how angry I was about that).

He is completely arrogant about it, which isn't a trait he usually has

Well driving like that is incredibly arrogant and does suggest it's a trait he has at other times. If he were a boyfriend rather than a DH personally I would LTB over that. I know that will sound extreme to some people, but I really hate it when people take unnecessary risks with other people's lives.

sounds like he doesn't want to face up to the problems occuring and tries to ignore them, doesn't like glasses ? has he worn them in the past ? perhaps someone has made a stupid joke and that has put him off, that does not help you though, [or him]. if he drives like it would it be possible to speak to dvlc on the quiet ? his eyes are not up to standard all the time for driving are they ?

Show him this: www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/girl-left-her-contacts-6-months-and-amoebas-ate-her-eyeballs/

Should frighten him into being sensible.

Oh my God. I'm a lens wearer and just reading this made me gasp. I know you know OP, but does he really get how bloody stupid he's been and how serious the consequences could be? He could go blind. In fact, it's likely he will if he carries on.

YANBU at all not to have sympathy. There's people out there who've lost their sight through no fault of their own and would love to be in his position.

He sounds like a total knob - what do you, forgive the pun, see in him?

Will you be happy to guide him around and look after him when he is blind?

"He doesn't like the idea of laser eye surgery" - what, is he afraid of it damaging his eyes or something?

Nearly 40 years ago I got rust in one of my eyes. It came from a fairground ride (dodgems) which, the consultant told me, would have shed millions of teeny, tiny bits of rust. Unluckily some of this virtually invisible rust landed in my eye. I was blind in it for 2 weeks and had to attend the regional Eye Hospital daily for 3 weeks so that the eye could be bathed and dressed.

I give all this detail because 40 years later, when having my eyes tested, the first thing the ophthalmologist comments on is that ancient damage to my cornea. Damage that left permanent scarring and is very like the damage that constantly wearing contact lenses can result in.

Your DH's attitude would enrage me. Eyes are so precious and so irreplaceable. It isn't a question of you wanting to prove you are right but if he's too stubborn and wilful to accept this then, to be honest, I'd tell him that he needn't be looking for any help or sympathy when the inevitable occurs. He's deliberately playing very dangerous games with his sight.

After DS had all his contact lens misuse problems Moorfields told him he would never be able to have laser surgery to correct his eyesight.

Well, this thread's frightening me, and I'm very careful with my contacts

Oh that is minging. I can't even take a catnap with mine in as they dry out so badly, and it's very bad for the eyeballs as they're starved of oxygen. Using them for months is gross and to swim and shower in them is risking an absolute shitload of waterborne bugs burrowing into the eyeball. I would actually struggle to respect someone who did this. It's akin to dipping a fork in dog shit and licking it off, then shrugging "It's never made me ill yet."

He has no grounds to be getting angry with you, and that would - like you said - be even more of a massive turnoff than the grotesque excuse at hygiene he's already displaying. Utter manbaby, grubby with an additional tantrum.

Some people on this thread don't realise you can now buy contact lenses you can sleep in day and night for a month. I wear them, I definitely over wear them, and I've never ordered contacts from an opticians. Just from an online website. I've been sleeping in my day and night contacts for years and never had any issues.

Some people on this thread don't realise you can now buy contact lenses you can sleep in day and night for a month

I'm fully aware of that. However, the OP has said that her DH has monthly disposables and only mentioned the sleeping in them as a problem. It's not clear what sort he has. What is clear is that his overuse of contacts is causing problems. He's in pain and has frequent infections.

This is one of the most irrational threads I've ever seen on MN. The OP's DH is engaging in self-inflicted injury for reasons unknown. It would do my head in. I would take a dim view of the whole thing - agree with happypoo and persiancat.

I can't read the full thread, I'm too squeamish about eyes. I don't like wearing glasses, but still aim to do so a day a fortnight for the sake of my eyes. You can get glasses from select specs for about a tenner. Not what I'd want for every day use, but a really handy back up.

I think you do need to treat him like a child. Make an appointment for him, then go with him and choose glasses with him afterwards.
I would also order a massive amount of lenses so there is no point "saving" them.

I'd consider throwing them away when they are old and gunky. They are a hazard and you'll likely be his carer if he goes blind because of his lack of hygiene.