To all that love their MIL - No haters allowed!!

[Crankyblob]

13 years ago I could have written a thousand mumsnet threads about my MIL. (I probably did!)

How I felt undermined by her mothering advice, how she would take DD for the day and not tell me where she was going only to Coke home and tell me they had been to the seaside... So much like the threads I see all the time here! I could make her sound like a right dragon if I wanted to and at the time I thought deservedly so!

With 13 years hindsight and practically no relationship left! I realise that even though she got plenty wrong, she loved her GC with all her heart. I took a beautiful relationship away from both her and my DC simply because I "as the DC mum" had final say and wanted to butt heads with her on everything!

I know they are not all perfect but it would be great to have a thread with some nice MIL stories!!

My MIL is lovely. She will drop everything to help us out with the children (or dog). She is kind and remembers things like sending DC good luck cards for exams. We are very very different in many ways, from dress sense to life values, and she respects that I do things very differently and does not criticise me (eg for working full time). She would never judge me for a messy house (hers is a tip).

When my first baby was tiny and I was clueless and stressed my MIL was so lovely. She walked into the room, took one look at me , took ds out my arms, poured me a glass of wine and said 'Its 6.30 in the evening, babies cry at this time in the evening, its what they do' Then wandered off to the other room singing to Ds. What she said made no sense 😃, but she made me feel a million times better and I have never forgotten it. I should tell her that really.

My mother in law is amazing. We see her around 5 times a week. We have very similar parenting styles and so there is no friction there.
My family all live abroad and I've gone nc with my own mother for the last 8 years. She has been more of a mother to me than my real mother.

I absolutely adore my MIL. She worries too much about everyone and everything and is selfless to a fault. She is amazing and would drop everything should you ever need her, even if she doesn't know you. She is lovely. Her cooking does leave something to be desired and is a standing joke but everything is made with love and the want to feed her family which makes the vast amounts of salt and crispy burnt buys worth it!

Love my MIL to bits. We had a rocky start. I have all sorts of anxieties and panic attacks and she's uber sociable and couldn't understand why I was so unwilling to get involved in DH's huge family (my immediate family is just four of us). About 6 months after the wedding we had a huge row at a family party and it almost came to fisticuffs. But that seemed to clear the air and now 16 years down the line I visit her (without DH) every week and we have a fabulous relationship. At a family do last week I had a major panic attack and she was the one that hugged me and said all the right things and talked me down. I couldn't have asked for better. My dds have a really close relationship with her too. And the rest of the family are fab too. I'm very lucky.

I couldn't wish for a better MIL. We come from very different backgrounds (her v posh, me working class) but we are very similar in personality in terms of keeping our very disorganised men in line. I agree with the OP there's often a power struggle. There are things she's done in the early years which I could have taken offence at (telling me what knife and fork to use, cleaning my house when she stays over), but I chose to accept she meant it kindly, and it's all fine. So long as i make 'her boy' happy, she's happy.

I love this thread

I've been with DH nearly 19 years and I never used to get in with MIL at all and used to avoid her where possible - my record was going from one Christmas to the next without seeing her.

Last year she had a fall and ended up in a nursing home and since then her and I have got close. Sadly she is now in a very bad way, hardly eating and drinking and she weighs less than 5st, and I'll be devastated when she dies, although I will be happy for her as she wants to die and will no longer be in constant pain.