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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To all that love their MIL - No haters allowed!!

108 replies

Crankyblob · 29/07/2016 21:00

13 years ago I could have written a thousand mumsnet threads about my MIL. (I probably did!)

How I felt undermined by her mothering advice, how she would take DD for the day and not tell me where she was going only to Coke home and tell me they had been to the seaside... So much like the threads I see all the time here! I could make her sound like a right dragon if I wanted to and at the time I thought deservedly so!

With 13 years hindsight and practically no relationship left! I realise that even though she got plenty wrong, she loved her GC with all her heart. I took a beautiful relationship away from both her and my DC simply because I "as the DC mum" had final say and wanted to butt heads with her on everything!

I know they are not all perfect but it would be great to have a thread with some nice MIL stories!!

OP posts:
libertygirl · 30/07/2016 07:15

I love my mother in law to bits. We get on so well that we went off on a girlie holiday together. We go to the theatre regularly too. Yes she can annoy me sometimes but doesn't everybody at some point or other

Sadly we found out 2 days ago that she has less than a year to live. Treasure every moment.

Crunchymum · 30/07/2016 07:38

My MIL is wonderful and I told her so over a glass of wine last night. She has never once criticised my parenting or undermined me. She adores our kids, and she is so calm and patient and fair (but doesn't take any shit!!).

I genuinely enjoy her company and spend time with her socially - by choice.

She is fab.

PuppyMonkeyBaby · 30/07/2016 07:43

My MiL is the best. All she wants is for her offspring to be happy and if we spouses can make that happen then she's happy too.

Two out of the three kids have lived overseas, and a huge distance away from her. When we all got together we would land on her place, take over, eat all her food, drink all her beer, dump the kids on her and have a good time ourselves. She never had a word of complaint. We now live much closer to her and FiL and I'm glad about that.
She's a solid, hard-working woman and I love her dearly.

I also know I am privileged to have her as a MiL.

Dutchcourage · 30/07/2016 07:45

op your mil actually sounds nice - you messed up there didn't you!

However it doesn't mean that plenty of other posters are making the same mistakes you did. Most posters are probally able to make educated judgements on what's happening in there own lives.

I have one amazing lovely ex mil and one demon that has crawled from the depth of hell current mil Smile

PNGirl · 30/07/2016 07:59

MIL and FIL can be a bit frustrating from a management-of-their-lives perspective as they do make things difficult for themselves sometimes. However, they love me to bits and treat me like a second daughter. They never interfere and I will happily pop in to see MIL at work when I'm in London for the day.
They also get on so well with my mum and dad that they are about go on their 5th holiday together. I think it's Sorrento this time. Bit weird but it makes life easier!

Kwirrell · 30/07/2016 08:37

Sorry if this is a hijack, but may I be permitted to say how much I love my DiLs. They are such incredibly strong women, loving wives, mothers and many more things besides. I probably drive them nuts, but they have never actually said so.

Amanda89x · 30/07/2016 08:39

Mine is lovely! She cares so much for all her gc and is always willing to help as much as she can and always takes the time to listen and offer advice to me

pegomassive1 · 30/07/2016 08:43

I love my MIL
she is opinionated and outspoken to the extend where she can sometimes come across as rude BUT I understand her nature and as I've grown from a teenager to the...age I am now...I've learned to not let the things she sais affect me because her hearts in the right place
Also she loves my dd and looks after her one day a week which is absolutely amazing and she comes round on my days off to take dd to the park which let's me get on with things such a massive help!

MamaLazarou · 30/07/2016 09:07

My MIL has been missing since 2009. She has never met DS Sad

RestlessTraveller · 30/07/2016 09:07

I'm getting married next year, I've only met once because she lives on the other side of the country but we got along like a house on fire. She has recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and nay not even live to be at the wedding. All these stories are so lovely I really wish I could have times like that with her.

RestlessTraveller · 30/07/2016 09:08

Sorry I've only met future MIL once.

footballmum · 30/07/2016 09:33

I love my MIL. Our family couldn't function without her, particularly after we lost DM 5 years ago. She's a funny old boot at times but so am I! My DSs adore her and we all cherish her.

JoandMax · 30/07/2016 09:39

My MIL is lovely, drives me crazy sometimes but her (and FIL) always put us first and would do anything to help if we ever needed it.

I did struggle with her slightly when 1st DC was born, I found I just wanted my mum around and it was hard for me to let her in, I did try and I hope she didn't realize!

Now I know how lucky I am, and my DCs, to have her involved in our lives. She absolutely adores my DC and I love seeing that relationship strengthen as they get older. She also completely supports me and loves me and both her and FIL have always treated me as another child

CuppaSarah · 30/07/2016 10:05

We're going to stay with my mil next week. She's already asked what size nappies do the dc need and what food do we want to eat. I love staying with her.

My own mother was emotionally abusive and neglectful. When me and dh started dating I had just turned 18 and had no odea how to cook, run a home and what healthy relationships were. My mil took me in and taught me all these things. Between her and dh they turned me life around entirely. I dread to think how things would have turned out without them. My mil is more like my mum. Shes the one I go to when I need support or ideas. I even go and stay with her whenever dh goes away, I love that we get on so well i choose to go see her with or without dh. Oh and the dc adore her and she's an amazing Grandma

timegate · 30/07/2016 10:08

I love this thread.

My MiL can be really annoying sometimes but deep down I do love her. She loves her son, and loves my kids, and is a great cook! Smile (food is the way to my heart).

Flanderspigeonmurderer · 30/07/2016 11:25

My MIL is one of the kindest people I know. She's so level headed and dependable, she has a really calming influence. You can tell how much she loves her family and it's great being a part of it.

Gaspard · 30/07/2016 17:29

My PIL's virtually adopted me into the family when DH and I got together. We lost FIL last year but MIL is still with us - loving, dependable, will drop everything to help if needed. She's 81 but still helps us out so much with babysitting. She's always cultivated a relationship with me independently of my DH and I really appreciated that. I'm a huge introvert so found her a bit too intense and smothering sometimes but that doesn't make her a difficult person. Nobody's perfect, and I'm sure there are things about me she finds odd or whatever. She spoils me, is so generous and always makes a huge effort for my birthday, Christmas, etc. I had surgery once and she'd bought me a chair she knew I'd love (part of a collection we had), she always does things like this and is ever so thoughtful. I just really love her.

Gaspard · 30/07/2016 17:32

Just to add the collection we had was quite expensive - and she and FIL had bought all the pieces we already had. Her generosity, and not just with material things, just blows me away.

MewlingQuim · 30/07/2016 17:44

My DMIL is fab Smile she is everything I could have wished for.

My own DM is not so great Sad

DMIL also had a crap DM and was very close to her DMIL, who she called mum. I think our disappointment with our own mothers has made us closer.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 30/07/2016 17:54

My MIL is great. When her son rang her to say we were getting married, she yelled YIPPEE! down the phone.

hoopyloop2016 · 30/07/2016 17:56

i love all of my partners family. they treat my eldest like their own even though shes my DP stepchild we have two children together and are TTC. My DP gets on with my mum too which is great MY mum is coming down for a holiday soon and it was my DP who organised it it was ment to be a surprise but i was planning other stuff to do and be said i couldnt go he never tells me i cant go anywhere so he had to tell me.

hoopyloop2016 · 30/07/2016 17:58

Also my DP dad is giving me away at our wedding.

MrsLouisTomlinson · 30/07/2016 18:16

My MIL is utterly fantastic. I love her like a mother.

Huldra · 30/07/2016 18:18

Mine is great.

BillSykesDog · 30/07/2016 18:22

Mine was really, really lovely and a very good friend to me. She died 6 years ago and one of the greatest sadnesses of my life is that she never met my children.

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