would you believe ds (5) or the childminder? childminer took ds and the children elsewhere

[user1469643462]

It is the summer holidays so ds has to be with a childminer, for 3 days a week. I pay her for the actual care she provides, then i pay for any visits to places on top of that, they were supposed to be going to the zoo today and i had paid £21 for ds's zoo ticket and i know that isnt loads but tbh with the cost i had already paid for her to look after him it was almost today's wages! ds goes there with 2 boys and a little girl aswell all around the same age give or take. Ds got home and was telling me all about his trip to the local museum (which was free) i did not have a problem with that he seemed to have had a great time. I phoned up the childminder and asked if she could just paypal the money back over and she said that she had no idea what i was going on about and that she took them to the zoo I know children do love to use their imagination, so i was a bit undecided, ds kept going on about the objects he had seen and told me a story about a man showing them the kids bit. ds has never been to this museum and it was just odd how well he was explaining it. I would love to phone the other parents but tbh i dont actually know them! it's all very odd...

I went to Chester zoo on Saturday and barely saw any animals because they were all inside!! There is a large section of explorer/islands bit which had various hats, backpacks, etc. Mostly outdoors though. Don't remember a tin hat
There are those machines you put a penny in to create your own penny souvenir, could it be that?

Another thing that makes me a bit suspicious, OP, is that the childminder has asked you for the "walk up" price of a ticket. According the Chester Zoo website, online tickets are cheaper and can be bought up until 9.30am on the day of the visit. If you're bringing more than one child, the price drops further still. Of course it might just be laziness on the part of the childminder that she couldn't be bothered to save you a bit of money by buying the tickets online.

ask for a receipt for the tickets????

I think that I'd say that I needed to keep a receipt for my own record, if she didn't keep a receipt then I'd ask for the ticket stub, and if she didn't have that then I'd ask her to print out a mini statement and blot out all personal info and other transactions. Perhaps it'd seem a little ott (esp a mini statement) but it's quite normal to want a receipt for things like this. It's better to find out either way than to have this question of trust hanging over the situation. If she did take them to the museum it'd be nice for you to know that you can trust her and it'll serve as a warning about ds' tales (lots of us have been there). But if she didn't take them then she's taken your money, ignored the opportunity to refund it, lied and allowed you to think that ds is telling porkies. I'm not a vengeful person and wouldn't be looking to report it if it was my cm, but I'd be looking for a new cm and my money back.

Beleive your son. If that was me i would ask the childminder what all this was about the museum. If she says anything like 'you know what kids are like' then she is disrespecting your child for one and shes also using your child to get a bit of extra money in her pocket. If i were you i would say that you know she didnt take them to the zoo and that you want your money back or youl get the police involved cause not only is that stealing money but its also being snidey and untrustworthy in the responsibility of your child. You cant trust that child minder, i wouldnt ever want that child minder near my child again after lying and making you and your son sound dumb.

Grosvenor museum in Chester is free and has a coin exhibition on at the moment. It also has a wartime area (my mum's old gas mask is in there somewhere) so a tin hat is not unlikely. See if he saw any "old-fashioned" rooms as it has several rooms dedicated to different periods, something like a Victorian nursery, Edwardian bedroom, wartime kitchen etc.
Zoo does have a few coin presses scattered around but no display. See if the aytached pic looks familiar as it was taken at the Islands a couple of weeks ago.

I'd be inclined to believe your DS too, in all honesty. Because when my 2 DSs go to the zoo, they are full of the animals, which ones they saw, which ones they got to feed, which ones did what, which one they liked best etc.
Tin hats and coins would NOT get a look in, even if they were at the zoo.

I realise my DSs aren't every boy in the world, but they're probably fairly representative of boys between 3 and 8 (excepting those who have a fascination for coins and/or war memorabilia).

Your DS saying nothing about animals and talking instead about the museum and the exhibits seems pretty explicit.

Since you don't know the other parents, you're a bit stymied, unless you can try and get to the CM's at the same time as one or other of them and ask them then!

Id also be inclined to believe the other child's account of his mum being locked in the bathroom.

Calleigh - yes, I think I would too. :(

The only time any of my DCs went to a zoo and didn't talk all night abut the animals was when DD4 (aged 5) was taken to a zoo by exH for her second weekend of visitation with him ever, and the first thing she told me when she came home was, 'Daddy's friend met us at the zoo'. She had never met Daddy's Friend before, and it was a puzzle to her that they had held hands.

I would believe the bathroom account too.

I don't know if the childminder has pulled a fast one but when DD was younger, her imagination and recollection of events was a wonder to behold.

Chester zoo is probably the finest zoo in the country (you're missing out OP!) and I cannot imagine any child not going on and on about the animals.

I'd show DS photos of some of the enclosures and also some local museums and see what he says. I'd also ask the childminder for the receipt, perhaps say you're going to try and see if the zoo will allow it to count towards annual membership. Annual membership at Chester zoo is £48 for a child and this would have been a much better option for the childminder to suggest if she wants to take them on such expensive trips out (which IMHO is ridiculous).

I am far more suspicious of your CM than your DS.

Zoos leave some people cold, not just adults ,some kids too.
I've never understood the appeal of visiting "animal prison" as I called it as a hold. If the OPs son had a similar reaction the making up a story about somewhere he would have enjoyed seeing/saw on tv etc becomes far more likely to a 5 year old who has a bit of an imagination.

Sounds far more likely than a dodgy childminder .....but this is MN where MILs and CMS and Nannys are always "bad" and Mummies are always right !

I think I'd probably believe the CM - my son went somewhere with his CM yesterday and touched snakes and saw lizards (I've seen photos) all he could tell me about was a talking owl?!

This is really bizarre, I wouldn't know who to believe either Op.

i would be inclined to believe the CM
and you need to let it go.

you need to trust her.
if she is lying and you have caught her out, she will know for future. but assume your DC got confused

I am a childminder but I am inclined to believe your son but proceed with caution as some children really to have fantastic imaginations. I go to my local zoo every term but I do a risk assessment each time and have parents sign a permission slip as it is not our usual weekly outings. I also take a few pictures for the children's diaries and for the parents too see. I also don't charge extra (no wonder I am crap at making a profit).

Your CM is taking a huge risk if she is lying and stealing so you need to get to the truth.

Sounds like he had a great day, wherever he went! But I would have thought that if he had seen an elephant he would definitely remember that.

Ive helped on school trips to the zoo where all my kids have talked about after was the coach trip ( who sat next to who) and the playground.
It would be a pretty stupid child minder who'd risk her career for a few quid.

Bear in mind that kids often don't say quite what they mean. He may have been expressing himself poorly and he may not have been that excited about the animals. I think it seems very unlikely that she is lying to you.

Crikey - I don't see how OP is meant to continue the arrangement with her CM if she goes barging in asking for receipts/ticket stubs and mini statements! It just screams that she suspects her of being on the fiddle! Would you really want to offend someone who is responsible for looking after your child? It doesn't look plausible to suddenly be asking for receipts 'for her records' because if she kept 'records' then this would surely have been mentioned when the trip was first discussed. Surely, just be honest and ask her truthfully why she thinks thinks DS is talking about a museum trip!

If it turns out that they went to the zoo and when you drop him off she hands you a load of photos of them there, then I still think this episode has set some alarm bells ringing when you see a lot of the posts on here - there should have been a permission slip, it would have been good for her to have tried to secure a discounted rate (although she may have done this), it would seem obvious for her to have given photos anyway on such a special trip, as well as ticket stubs - I think the confusion has mainly arisen because her procedures don't sound very tight. I'm sure there are things she offers that compensate for this though, although as a pp has said, I would need to feel that I could ask my CM anything concerning my children.

I'm not sure tbh. I thought the childminder was pulling a fast one at first but reading pp's comments I agree that children do make things up or recall things differently.

I do a lot of school trips and what the children talk about most when we return to school is the journey and the gift shop .

I'm not sure. Why don't you find an animal book and read it to him at night. Then see if it triggers any discussion.
I do know that some children have wild imaginations. A child at school told us all about his holiday in Spain- how he got there, the hotel, the beach etc.
We commented to his mum about the lovely holiday and it turned out he'd been ill. He wanted to go to Spain because he had heard other kids talking about it. You wouldn't believe the detail. He had us hook, line and sinker!
I could understand if she changed her mind because of the weather but why not say. It is strange but sounds like he had a good day out wherever he went. I. Would be inclined to ask if she had any photos so you could include it in his " holiday " book.