To expect to be kept in the loop when someone takes DD out for the day?

[NapQueen]

Collected this morning. Venue closes at 4pm so told "closes at 4 but they may get bored before then" and dh and I asked that taker text us when she left venue so we could make sure we were in to take her back.

No word. Not a jelly bean. It's 6.40pm.

I don't want hourly updates etc! By the way. Just a "we've had a good day, off to XX now for tea" or similar.

Who's taken her out?

Who is she with?

WTF?? Your kid is missing?

(Shirley knot??)

Mil.

I'd be the same with my own DM though so it genuinely isn't a MIL bashing thing!

My DM used to be bad for that. Why on earth should she need to ask permission or give information about a trip with her own DGD?

We had many arguments about it. She has learned but you need to make sure the 'taker' knows your feelings on this and that it's not acceptable. Anything can happen ( not necessarily something that would be their fault)

My mum does this - I'm told she "doesn't do time" and that I have to accept that.

I'd go to the pub and let your mother deal with that issue

YANBU. I feel the same. Yes I'm grateful someone has taken my child out, yes I trust them, nonetheless I want to know where they've gone and roughly when they'll be back. I start panicking otherwise...

*mil

I'm at work so I messaged dh to text her and find out what's happening.

I get you.

My nan took Dd out to London two months ago and she has no phone so was not able to get in contact.

I knew she was safe and was enjoying herself but at the same time it would have been nice for a "just had dinner and we are getting the train home now. Dd has enjoyed her day. See you soon" text.

I presume you've tried ringing her
I'm guessing MIL has form for this sort of thing and won't see the issue when DD is eventually returned.

Tbh I don't even think dh is that bothered

If it was another Parent, then yes, but not Family, who could keep hold of them, if you wasn't in.

Ideally a update txt, would happen. But I'm forever telling my DDs that I don't think to get my phone out, on a day out. Likewise my Mum took my DDs out before mobile phones and we managed.

As long as they were back for bedtime, I never worried.

How old is dd? Chances are Nan has taken her out for tea or something.

I hate this, too. My PILs do it, & usually turn their phones to silent (including the house phone). Once they arrived home 5 hours late with our 2 year-old. It was a struggle to speak to them civilly when they breezed home, DD had slept for 2 hours in the car so wouldn't go to bed.

Hope they respond soon.

She will be 5 in 4 months.

Dh has messaged back to say they are on their way. Thank goodness.

And of course he won't say a word.

Yanbu except for saying "kept in the loop"

At 2.5 hours late - i think you should leave a message on their phone saying that you are worried and they need to contact you.

I could have said "touch base". I'll "blue sky" this with MIL next time

Ah just seen your update that's good - but why do you need your DH to have a word, why can't you explain that you were concerned and that in future you need to be kept in the loop.

Because I'm not there I am at work.

I don't see the issue myself. people survived forever without texting.

They did, but now we have the technology and many people like to use it. Humanity survived without most modern medicines but few people would scrap them.

What is a taker - is that your MIL??