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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go away while off sick?

61 replies

eggpoacher · 27/07/2016 16:41

I'm off with depression and burnout. Can't cope with being around people, the phone ringing, answering the door, anything unexpected causes stress. My GP has signed me off for 6 weeks (and says that from listening to me, that might not be the end of this).
I want to take myself off camping in the middle of nowhere and take a complete break, but my colleague/friend thinks I shouldn't do that as people will think I'm taking advantage and I'm not really ill.
I feel I need this. I don't believe that the only way to be depressed is hiding under the duvet all day. AIBU to go?

OP posts:
mouldycheesefan · 27/07/2016 16:46

It's fine. Any dr would say that a holiday would help someone with stress and depression. I work in HR lots of people off with depression go on holiday for a rest. We don't expect to see Facebook pics of them dancing on tables but camping in a field is fine. It sounds boring though!

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 27/07/2016 16:46

Surely if you're suffering from depression and burnout taking time out to be alone and recharge is the sensible thing to do. Tell your friend that not all medicine comes in a bottle.

HeyMacWey · 27/07/2016 16:46

Go away - it'll do you the world of good.

You are not well enough to work - that doesn't mean the rest of your life goes on hold.

How would work even know what you're doing if you didn't tell your colleague /friend?

x2boys · 27/07/2016 16:46

Just because your off sick doesnt mean you cant go away if it would be good for your mental health , i would avoid facebook though and posting lots of updates.

DollyBarton · 27/07/2016 16:47

Go! Life is too short to give a shit what other people think. I wouldn't Facebook a load of pics of you having a nice time but it would be good for you so that is more than enough reason to go.

allegretto · 27/07/2016 16:47

Check whether your contract allows you to do this. Mine doesn't. I have to stay in for certain hours each day and they can send someone round to check and fire you if you're out! (I work abroad though - don't know if they do this in the UK).

Cutecat78 · 27/07/2016 16:47

People do it all the time where I work.

bibliomania · 27/07/2016 16:47

Sounds like an excellent thing to do. Do NOT put photos on social media though (or tweet or anything else) - it could be misinterpreted. If you want to get away from it all, it doesn't sound like you intend to anyway.

KittyLaRoux · 27/07/2016 16:47

When i had depression my gp actually advised a holiday and to socialise as much as possible so not to isolate myself. He also advised the gym as a way of creating happy hormones but i am allergic Wink

I wouldnt worry what others think depression is much more complex than a bug.

DollyBarton · 27/07/2016 16:48

Ps. Your friend doesn't sound like a great friend to be honest.

Cutecat78 · 27/07/2016 16:49

It can be considered part of your recovery.

acasualobserver · 27/07/2016 16:49

I think it's fine, in fact a good idea for someone in your situation. There are perhaps some holidays that might look a bit off - Butlins or Club 18-30 perhaps - but some solitude and peace would be totally justified. You're too ill to work, not too ill to go camping. Anyway, as long as you don't do any paid work while your off sick I don't think there's much anyone can say or do.

BorpBorpBorp · 27/07/2016 16:49

YANBU, I would go, but I would keep quiet about it. It is an unfortunate reality that some people think depression isn't real and that people who are signed off for mental health reasons are skiving. I would just go and not tell your friend.

acasualobserver · 27/07/2016 16:50

Sorry, x-posted with half of MN!

WhooooAmI24601 · 27/07/2016 16:51

It sounds as though a break would do you good. You can't feel guilty for trying to feel better, so go ahead.

eggpoacher · 27/07/2016 16:52

Aw thank you all, no one in real life is this kind to me, people just think I'm a liability because I can't work Smile

OP posts:
BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 27/07/2016 16:52

I have to stay in for certain hours each day and they can send someone round to check and fire you if you're out!

Crumbs! Shock

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge · 27/07/2016 16:54

I think a break away sounds like a really good idea to aid your recovery although I wouldn't call camping relaxing Grin

Hope you start to feel better soon Flowers

mouldycheesefan · 27/07/2016 16:55

Fresh air, stars at night, toasting marshmallows over the fire, reading books. Go for it. It can only be positive for your recovery. Enjoy 💐

TheNaze73 · 27/07/2016 16:58

I agree for certain however, just KIV the feelings of others. One of my team at work was posting selfies on FB whilst off sick in Lanzarote & it caused a lot of resentment from the others who were covering her. Sure you won't plaster every move on social media, just a word of caution.
Have a great time

Scarydinosaurs · 27/07/2016 16:59

People would convalesce by the sea in years gone by. I think it's an excellent idea.

redhat · 27/07/2016 16:59

i'm an employment lawyer. Its perfectly acceptable to go on holiday whilst you're off sick. in fact, if you've booked the annual leave and then you have a medical certificate covering your absence then you should get the annual leave back too.

katsmumx · 27/07/2016 17:00

I would say go, it sounds like you need space and time away from everyday life. PP is right, not all medicines are packaged.

FWIW I love your idea. Currently next door one side is laying a patio, the other side is doing up a camper van and at work, the flat upstairs is having a loft conversion.

Yes, your idea is great!!!

Babyroobs · 27/07/2016 17:02

I agree that's it's fine if done discreetly. I have coleaugues who have posted pictures of themselves on hen weekends etc whilst off sick and it does cause resentment.

AnyFucker · 27/07/2016 17:02

You should go. Just what the doctor ordered, sounds like.

Like Naze said though, don't rub it in people's faces.

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