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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you say something?

142 replies

Zosebrina · 26/07/2016 10:56

I am having some work done on my house, specifically my upstairs bathroom.

The person doing the work is a friend of one of my relatives and I wasn't able to stay home today to let them in etc so I gave a key to a relative who then gave a key to the tradesman, they have had work done before and It's very good. I was a bit nervous about giving some random person a key but my relative assured me he is totally trustworthy and has been alone in their house doing work lots of times.

Before I left for work this morning I shut all the doors to the bedrooms upstairs and the living room.

I have a burglar alarm linked to my phone and motion sensors in all the downstairs rooms, a contact sensor on the back door and motion sensors in all the upstairs bedrooms (I live on my own and have been burgled before incase anyone thinks I'm a bit OTT with the sensors!)

I can look at the motion sensor activity from my phone and just popped to have a look just to see if he had turned up to do the work.

So far he has spent 3/4 an hour in the kitchen (presumably having a coffee - fine by me), has gone outside into the garden (or at least opened the back door) has gone in the living room and all the upstairs bedrooms...

I'm trying to workout why on earth he felt the need to go in any of the bedrooms when the doors were shut? He wouldn't have been looking for the bathroom because I left that door open and you have to walk past it to get to the bedrooms so he would have seen it immediately as he walked up the stairs.
I can sort of understand him going in the living room, perhaps he wanted to sit with a coffee on the sofa but the bedrooms?? I am a bit annoyed that he has gone in there because I have cream carpets in all the bedrooms and obviously he wouldn't have taken his shoes off to do work.

IABU to feel a bit unnerved that he has gone into my bedrooms when there was no need? Should I say something?

OP posts:
Laiste · 26/07/2016 16:01

The OP has every right to use the anti burglary tech. she has installed in her house to see if the bloke turned up! Why wouldn't you? Why would you ring him and interupt his work to ask him something she can find out by simply glancing at her phone? It's quite normal these days to have devices in your home linked to your phone.

She's noticed all the doors in the house have been open. That isn't 'tracking' or 'stalking all day' Hmm

I'd be asking him why he went in the bedrooms. Friendly, nice and simple. If there's an explanation then fair enough. If not perhaps he'll think about keeping his sticky beak to himself in future. Might be to his own benefit. More and more folk are getting remote access tech.

Original poster
Zosebrina · 26/07/2016 16:12

Lol I wasn't "stalking" him. I was just curious as to what time he had turned up - (and going by previous tradesmen, IF he had turned up) and then noticed that all my other motion sensors had been activated so yes I did have a nosey to see which rooms he had been in, but its MY house am I not allowed to know what goes on inside my own house?

If the other sensors hadn't have been activated I would have left it at that and not bothered logging back in - although I would then have had a report the next day telling me everything that went on in the house the previous day which I may have scrolled through, so either way I would have found out, but I'm assuming by looking at it then that's also stalking?

OP posts:
sizeofalentil · 26/07/2016 16:15

I'm not a tradesman or anything, but going to admit… I'd probably have a look in the rooms too - unless specifically asked not to. One reason… To check for any pets/people in the house. Because it's freaky being alone in someone's house and hearing a crash or other sound.

EarthboundMisfit · 26/07/2016 16:18

What's with all the threads with alarm apps?

ChunkyHare · 26/07/2016 16:24

But did he just pop his head inside the door or did he locate the laundry basket, find a pair of knickers and have a nice wank whilst having a sniff?

Sounds far fetched? Not as far fetched as you think. My children watch Stampy for Minecraft videos and one of his friends was convicted of this very act. Except he left behind the evidence in the knickers. #

Hopefully he was just having a nosy round but quite frankly that is not on.

NavyandWhite · 26/07/2016 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KayTee87 · 26/07/2016 16:29

I would hate this. I had to move out of an old house for a week or so years ago to get work done and put locks on the bedroom doors before I left.

I would say something to him along the lines of what you were thinking so you're not outright accusing him but giving him time to give you a legitimate answer.

I don't think what you did was weird or freaky at all. You employed someone to do a job in your house you have every right to check on your house at any time you like, especially if there's a stranger in it.

Kenduskeag · 26/07/2016 16:35

I've seen/heard about the wanking into underwear thing a few times - usually in Take a Break magazine and on those 'Tradesmen Gone Bad' documentaries you watch when nothing's on.

Um. Yeah, I dunno. I guess I'd want to think he was bleeding radiators.

MitchellMummy · 26/07/2016 16:37

I haven't read all the posts, so this may have been suggested, but how about getting locks fitted on your internal doors, so that in future you can guard against this sort of thing? I have locks on my office and dining room doors, though in my case it's useful to have somewhere to lock the dogs away if there's workmen in the house. It also means that you can be sure all your personal stuff cannot be looked at/taken. I see NO reason why he should need to go into the bedrooms (if he needed a power socket and there isn't one on the landing then he'd only need to go into one room). I have to say that when I've been entrusted with people's keys in the past I've never had the desire to go snooping round.

blitheringbuzzards1234 · 26/07/2016 16:45

He was probably just being nosy but he should have resisted temptation. All the closed doors were surely a clue - don't disturb. The open bathroom door was a 'signpost' as to its whereabouts.
I'd forgive it if nothing has gone missing but I'd be wary of using him again.

dustarr73 · 26/07/2016 17:00

I dont know why the op is getting called a stalker.If the trademan had not opened the door in the first place it would not have been flagged up.

If he cant be trusted then thats down to him and nobody else.

MsMims · 26/07/2016 17:08

It's not stalking for the OP to check what a stranger is doing in her own home. I wouldn't be able to resist saying something either, very unprofessional of him.

Laiste · 26/07/2016 18:57

He might have gone in the bedrooms to check for people?! That's even worse! So he's what, called out maybe? Got no answer, meaning there is no one in or maybe there is and they're asleep or haven't heard you. And it's ok for him to open the closed bedrooms and look to be sure? Confused

Masketti · 26/07/2016 19:08

OP may I gently suggest you learn a lesson from this and don't let someone do work in your house without you being present again?

ailith · 26/07/2016 19:20

I think what is weird is checking up in a stalker-type fashion on the tradesman - using a gizmo.

It's normal to be curious about other people's homes. Good grief.

As for the putting locks on bedroom doors - on the outside - that is offensive to people.

Honestly, some people.

ailith · 26/07/2016 19:23

Just because a tradesman opens a door which is PRIVATE!!!!! does not mean he is going to steal.

KayTee87 · 26/07/2016 19:36

I don't think op said she was worried he had stolen anything, just unnerved about him entering private rooms with their doors closed, for no reason. Several of my friends are tradesmen and some of the stories I've heard have unfortunately led me to have no one in the house unaccompanied and the bedroom doors locked when that wasn't possible. It's the thought of someone looking around that would bother me, not the fact that someone might steal something.

KayTee87 · 26/07/2016 19:39

Also I put locks on bedroom doors when I moved out of my old home for a week or so mainly because I couldn't take much with me so had to leave valuables etc and wanted the security of locking them away as I wouldn't be there for over a week. I would also hate the idea of someone reading letters, looking at underwear etc. That I've been reliably told happens more often than not when people are in someone else's house unaccompanied.

NavyandWhite · 26/07/2016 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 26/07/2016 20:04

He has taken the piss because he was trusted withyour key- he wouldn't have done this if you were home.
I would just ask him why he went into the bedrooms

Smurfnoff · 26/07/2016 20:08

Leave a note on your bed saying 'I know you've been in here. And I know you want me like I want you. Be here when I get home wearing nothing but that toolbelt'.

You'll know by his face if he's seen it. And if you do find him in just the toolbelt, be read with your camera and blackmail demands.

AuroraBora · 26/07/2016 20:37

They was a thread on here or chat a while back about the disgusting this some workmen do when in other people's houses, like stealing pants, clean and dirty (!!!) and I'm sure a poster had a story about one wanking into the dirty laundry basket ShockShockShock

Not that this has any relevance in this situation but it just reminded me!!

Thingsthatmakeugoummmm · 26/07/2016 21:36

I understand how you feel. We had a workman here undertaking some tiling work in bathroom. I was recovering from operation and was downstairs whilst he worked. When he came downstairs after completing tiling we made small talk and it transpired that he and my husband were members of same gym. He commented that he didn't not recognise my husband from his photo. The only photo of my husband is the one of the two of us beside my bed. Went he left I went upstairs I could see my bedroom door was open. There was NO reason that he needed to be in my room!

NavyandWhite · 26/07/2016 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

randomer · 27/07/2016 08:25

don't think a tradesman would be after old kids toys really?