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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you say something?

142 replies

Zosebrina · 26/07/2016 10:56

I am having some work done on my house, specifically my upstairs bathroom.

The person doing the work is a friend of one of my relatives and I wasn't able to stay home today to let them in etc so I gave a key to a relative who then gave a key to the tradesman, they have had work done before and It's very good. I was a bit nervous about giving some random person a key but my relative assured me he is totally trustworthy and has been alone in their house doing work lots of times.

Before I left for work this morning I shut all the doors to the bedrooms upstairs and the living room.

I have a burglar alarm linked to my phone and motion sensors in all the downstairs rooms, a contact sensor on the back door and motion sensors in all the upstairs bedrooms (I live on my own and have been burgled before incase anyone thinks I'm a bit OTT with the sensors!)

I can look at the motion sensor activity from my phone and just popped to have a look just to see if he had turned up to do the work.

So far he has spent 3/4 an hour in the kitchen (presumably having a coffee - fine by me), has gone outside into the garden (or at least opened the back door) has gone in the living room and all the upstairs bedrooms...

I'm trying to workout why on earth he felt the need to go in any of the bedrooms when the doors were shut? He wouldn't have been looking for the bathroom because I left that door open and you have to walk past it to get to the bedrooms so he would have seen it immediately as he walked up the stairs.
I can sort of understand him going in the living room, perhaps he wanted to sit with a coffee on the sofa but the bedrooms?? I am a bit annoyed that he has gone in there because I have cream carpets in all the bedrooms and obviously he wouldn't have taken his shoes off to do work.

IABU to feel a bit unnerved that he has gone into my bedrooms when there was no need? Should I say something?

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 26/07/2016 12:44

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MaisieDotes · 26/07/2016 12:47

He might have been double checking that there was no one else in the house before he started up his drill or tile cutter or whatever.

He could have knocked each door and said "hello?" and quickly stuck his head round just to confirm they were empty.

I used to have a job where I had to be in people's homes and tbh you don't really care what's in their bedrooms, you just want to get your work done and go home.

NavyandWhite · 26/07/2016 12:52

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SurlyValentine · 26/07/2016 12:54

The fact he had been given a key (via OP's relative) should have been a pretty big clue that there was no-one else in the house, otherwise they would have been able to let him in!

youngest sounds like you're blaming the OP for her own stress, by having her alarm and sensors connected to her phone! Try blaming the nosey twat in her house for her stress.

I would definitely say something. Just straight to the point. "Why did you need to go in all of the bedrooms?" should just about cover it. I wouldn't expect him to confess to wanking into your knicker drawer or anything, but it would be amusing to watch him squirm, if he has an ounce of conscience.

MaisieDotes · 26/07/2016 12:57

Not necessarily navy

I have walked in on all sorts after being given keys, not least people's teenagers who were meant to be elsewhere.

NobodyInParticular · 26/07/2016 12:58

It's really not on OP. Kitchen fine, garden fine (for having a smoke or fresh air to cool off), living room is pushing it a bit given how easy it would be to get dirt on the sofas, bedrooms completely out of order!

Given he was tiling, I could imagine him needing 2 plug sockets max, and you say you have these in the hallway.

Also, wrt opening windows for ventilation, I don't find that acceptable. If I was in that scenario I would ask the home owner in advance if they would mind opening some windows for me. Going in to a room with closed doors is totally not on, plus, what if you opened a window and broke it / let the cat out / rain came in / an alarm went off / was broken and wouldn't close again? There is a reason people close doors!

I would assume he was being nosey and confront him about it after he has finished the job. "Did you find all the plug sockets you needed in the hallway? Oh, good, so you didn't need to go in to the bedrooms to look for sockets or anything else? Really? I'm afraid I don't believe that because..... So what were you doing in the bedrooms? I'm very unhappy about that and your behaviour seems very suspicious so I will be telling [relative] and [others] about this / leaving bad reviews online.

MaisieDotes · 26/07/2016 13:02

The fact he had been given a key (via OP's relative) should have been a pretty big clue that there was no-one else in the house, otherwise they would have been able to let him in!

Aren't you clever!

No dear. There are sometimes people in houses unexpectedly.

NavyandWhite · 26/07/2016 13:09

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SurlyValentine · 26/07/2016 13:16

Aren't you clever! No dear. There are sometimes people in houses unexpectedly.

No dear, you're obviously the clever one Hmm The OP has said they live alone so had arranged for the key to be given to the tiler via their relative. The tiler had absolutely no need to open any of the closed bedroom doors to do the work they were being paid to do in the bathroom.

MaisieDotes · 26/07/2016 13:27

Have you ever had a conversation with tradesmen regarding what they do in other people's houses? I have and it isn't pleasant.

Massively sweeping generalisation. I don't know who you were talking to but the vast, vast majority of tradespeople just do their work and leave.

Anyway I'm not here to defend the tiler I'm just offering a realistic reason to the OP as to why the man might have opened the doors.

But it's obviously much more fun to accuse him of being a pervert, so carry on.

youngestisapsycho · 26/07/2016 13:32

I wasn't blaming the OP for anything.. I just said that if she didn't have such technology, she wouldn't have known where he was going in her house. I have had workmen in my house before, I have no idea what they got up to while they were in there. I have to trust that they do the job and don't steal anything!
I wonder if the OP would have had the workman in her house if she didn't have the sensors and alarms??

Jinxxx · 26/07/2016 13:38

Maybe he was checking if you had another bathroom so he could see how the tiles were put up there, with a view to doing the same. Or perhaps looking for a second bathroom to use if he had stuff piled up in the basin or whatever in the room he was working in.
I think I would phone and ask him to have a check around as your remote alarm has gone off. He can then say it was him set it off and why/how.

NavyandWhite · 26/07/2016 13:47

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlyingElbows · 26/07/2016 13:52

Well you can sit in work inventing scenarios or you could just speak to the guy. Tbh I don't understand why you wouldn't tell him the doors are alarmed and you'll get notification if he opens them. Why the need to catch him out? Why give a stranger a key to your empty house if you're not comfortable with anyone being in it? I understand your burglary issues but you've invited this guy in, he's very unlikely to be emptying your house of all you possessions as we speak. Just speak to the guy, there's no need for invented excuses or made up stuff just be straight up.

DietCockBreak · 26/07/2016 13:53

He was probably being nosey. I wouldn't say anything but I might employ someone else next time. It's not nice having your home snooped about in.

gleam · 26/07/2016 14:11

The house I'm living in now already had locks fitted, so I lock all 'unnecessary' doors when we have work done.

springwaters · 26/07/2016 15:32

I think that it is unreasonable that you are all making up theories and not commenting that it is really odd to track your tradesmen in this way.

OP - this isn't normal- it is obsessive and freaky behaviour. You do know that don't you?

RiverTam · 26/07/2016 15:36

I would be very annoyed, of course it's not inevitable that workmen have a nose around your home, ffs. I would ask him why he went into all the bedrooms, if he denies it say you have an alert for the sensors so you know full well he did. Then get rid.

NavyandWhite · 26/07/2016 15:38

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

insancerre · 26/07/2016 15:43

Maybe he was doing a poo in your shoe?

Chippednailvarnishing · 26/07/2016 15:43

I think you are perfectly within your rights to want to know what he was doing Op. He has no business being in any of the rooms other than the one he works in.
I'd call him and tell him you have a silent alarm that has alerted you to some of the doors being opened...

springwaters · 26/07/2016 15:44

What is obsessive and freaky behaviour spring waters?

She has logged on to her phone app deliberately to track someone who is in the house*

The and just popped to have a look just to see if he had turned up to do the work is how it it brushed off. No- you would call him to check that- she is tracking him without his knowledge.

Since then she has spent the day stalking him. It isn't rational. It is obsessive and freaky. She has posted a thread to try and normalise it- it isn't normal- at all.

Imagine if a man posted that that was how he was tracking his wife/a woman during the day without their knowledge.

This is stalker behaviour- i think that is freaky and obsessive.

attsca · 26/07/2016 15:46

Well I'm going to say what lots of posters are thinking.

An electrician told a friend that the first thing they all did when alone in a house was rummage through the women's underwear drawer and then have a good nose in the laundry bin. Bedside drawers are usually interesting too apparently.

NavyandWhite · 26/07/2016 15:47

This reply has been deleted

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Lazyarticle · 26/07/2016 15:57

He was definitely having a good nosey around, I wouldn't leave a total stranger alone in my house, ever. I wouldn't confront him though, just put it down to experience and move on.

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