To be furious with my witch of a neighbour

[Choccybadger]

I am fuming. Any of you who know me on here know I have had several years of invasive spinal surgery. At the moment I have a spinal cord infection and am leaking cerebrospinal fluid from my nose. So not only got hideous back pain but also worst headache I've ever had.
My lovely ambulance came to take me to hospital last night. Given the nature of my illness/injury, the paramedics took a while to settle me comfortably and safely in position.
I live on a well to do street. Each house has at least an acre and a driveway to fit 6 cars. My ambulance last night was hanging probably 6-8 inches on to neighbours' path. It had big letters saying Emergency Ambulance and blue light flashing (but no siren). There could have been no mistake about what was going on. I was stretchered out on gas and air and they clearly had to strap me in etc.
Hellbitch neighbor was shrieking at paramedics whilst I was strapped in and on said gas and air, that they were in her way, she couldn't get her car out and would be late for art class.
Paramedic, beautiful soul, told her the severity of injury, that she could get two buses out of her path and if she didn't stop harassing and swearing at them he would report her for obstruction of emergency vehicle access.
She shut up and walked off muttering under her breath.
My husband was told this morning l have osteomyelitis in the spine/query cord infection. He arrived home to find the absolute TWUNT next door has posted a letter through our door saying we are entitled to live our lives as we wish, but should not 'encroach' on her path, even 'by yhe merest of inches'. She wrote 'the circumstances, though unfortunate, are not relevant to their right to use their path as and when they wish'

So now, I'm wondering what to do/ say.

All suggestions gratefully received.

My own idea to post fresh dog turds through her letterbox has been vetoed by my hosbondo
Help me please. I hate her at the moment. Oh, did I mention she did this in front of my 3 crying children, frantic about mummy going to hospital again and apparently told my middle DD to stop snivelling while she spoke to paramedic. Paramedic told her she was a disgusting example of a human adult. Advice?

What a fucking arsehole!

Do these people seriously exist????

I'm going to go against the grain here and say don't respond, at all. People like your neighbor thrive on conflict and anything you do is just giving her the attention and drama she craves. Taking the high road and ignoring the whole thing will torture her way more than any return letter.

If you tell everyone what she did, it will get back to her and she will know she "got to you." Also, to be totally honest, when rumors start flying about an incident like this, I think people often get a poor impression of both parties. It's unfair but i think people assume there must be more to the story as nobody could be that terrible. And I'm sure your neighbor would be happy to share her own version of the story, leaving neighbors to sort fact from fiction based on hearsay and gossip. You don't benefit from being associated with that.

Of course you should save the note and note the date and what happened in case the neighbor escalates things unilaterally, but other than that just focus on your own recovery. As PPs have said, don't give this woman any of your headspace.

Hope you have a speedy recovery and no more blue light ambulance rides!

what a horror .if i saw a ambulance at my neighbours i would go ask do you want me to lock your door /take your children/pet until some comes .i could,nt care less if they were parked in my drive blocking me never mind slightly over it .where is some folks compassion hope you are ok .

How are you doing today? 💐

((((((((((((soft Hugs))))))))))) OP

The nasty neighbour was not blocked in, the ambulance was only 6 to 8 inches across her very wide drive, there was plenty room for her to come and go whilst the ambulance was in situ.

From the OP "Paramedic, beautiful soul, told her the severity of injury, that she could get two buses out of her path and if she didn't stop harassing and swearing at them he would report her for obstruction of emergency vehicle access. "

OP - hope you're ok today and just think - that awful woman has to live in her own mean spirited unkind head every day of her life. Just ignore her. She is clearly deeply unhappy - people who put out that sort of vitriol generally have it all swishing around inside themselves.

I'd contact the ambulance service and see if they want to take it further. Keep the letter in case she has decided you are fair game to take out her frustrations at the worlds perceived injustices on. Keep a diary and contact the police if you get a 3rd incidence of nonsense from her.

Write what Northernmummy30 suggested at 07:50:05

The best revenge is to live well and be happy, these dementor type people hate that as they are so bitter with their own lives.

Wishing you well for your recovery.

for you OP. Your neighbour sounds like an absolute bitch. But I think your paramedic handled it well. Please try not to waste your energy stewing about her,she is not worth it. I hope you feel much better soon.

I'd post the letter on social media (removing her name from it) and let everyone else comment on the letter (of course if anyone PMs you ......asking who it was you can tell them "in confidence"). The art class comment will out her to some people anyway.

I agree with AGreatBigWorld - keep it official. In my experience, bitches like her will play the victim card if your hubby/sibling/friend has a go at her and will make out she's the one being bullied.
She is a vile person - just think how lacking in joy her life must be.
Hope your recovery is quick xxx

Get well soon. Wishing you the speediest of recoveries.

Agree with the PP who suggested writing bitch in weedkiller. Or maybe a little smear of dog shit on the inside of her car door handle....

Then immediately move next door to me and if (God forbid) it ever happened again I would a) babysit your kids and b) stock your freezer while you're in hospital....

Her behaviour to you is vile,amazing that some people fee able to carry on like this. I would be inclined to ignore her and her letter, I mean how do you respond to that? She clearly doesn't care that you were seriuosly ill, so it's not like explaining the situation again is going to mollify her.
However, her behaviour towards the paramedics was also vile. These people are not paid enormous amounts of money, and work extremely hard in a very stressful job. They are the people at the front line of mopping up all sorts of awful crises and catastrophes in other people's lives and they get subjected to abuse and violence on quite a regular basis. I don't think this is acceptable, and your neighbour was not acceptable. I would do as others have suggested and contact both the ambulance trust and the police to report her behaviour.

If you need to expel your anger, do it through the police explaining you have a genuine fear this might happen again and want reassurances it won't.
Hopefully they will drop her a visit.

Otherwise put your energy into getting well, she is clearly a noxious and unstable woman.

speak to the police on the non emergency line (or get your husband to make the complaint) and show them the letter that has been sent
you have serious medical issues and needed to be in hospital
you now need to concentrate on your recovery
neither you, your family or the ambulance crew deserved to be shouted at by a deranged loon when you were unwell
and you don't deserve to have to deal with snippy notes of a neighbours unjustified whinging or any other actions she plans

the circumstances of the ambulance attending were unfortunate but absolutely highly relevant; an ambulance can legally park where it needs to and obstructing or interfering in the ambulance crews duties can be a criminal offence - including arguing with and distracting them. Your neighbour had no knowledge of your illness or how serious it was and yet felt entitled to distract the crew providing you assistance and by this possibly delaying your transfer which could have had serious consequences for you if your condition deteriorated rapidly, and at the very least prolonged the pain and distress you were in during the transfer unneccesarily

She needs to be told this, and she needs to be told it by someone in authority: not silly revenges or public shaming, or any attempt to take a neighbourly moral high ground, but someone neutral explaining to her clearly how wrong her actions have been and that repeating them or harassing you as a result of this could lead to consequences, and any repeat of her behaviour should you have an ambulance called again is entirely unacceptable no matter where they park

I really hope you feel better soon, and all the best for your recovery

Good lord what an absolute bitch.

Agree, keep the letter. Very interesting that she seems to have committed an offence by obstructing emergency services.

Astonishing rudeness from your neighbour . Inexcusable.

However his bad are your dogs re barking ? It is absolutely torture for people like me to be disturbed by dogs barking near my home.
Hope you feel better soon

Take the letter to the Police. If you can get corroboration from the paramedics about her obstructive and appalling behaviour the night before, then that would help a lot.

She is abusive, obstructive and utterly foul - ignoring this is NOT the way forward, she will just get worse because she's got away with it.

So, police. Hope you're feeling better btw and your CSF has stopped coming down your nose!

Contact the ambulance service and ask for a statement from the paramedic, forward it with a copy of your (lovely) neighbours letter to your MP.....your neighbor is a complete arsehole. Big hugs to you OP

Sad face local press photo. She deserved public shaming.

Do not be upset by this OP.

It is not personal. It is her not you.

Do not engage with her at all verbally or otherwise, but absolutely do log the incident, the corresponding letter & any further events with the police.
This keeps you in the clear, should she see fit to act up again.

The more reasonable you are, the more batshit her behaviour is by contrast.

A word of advice tho, if you even slightly suspect that your dogs could be an issue, you should address that immediately. It may not bother you but it can be distressing for neighbours around you. You do not want her to attack you through them. Preempt any opportunities before they arise.

I had a NDN like this for many years. Needlessly nasty & sought out conflict constantly. Neighbours eventually stopped engaging with her feuds as this was precisely what she wanted.

On the plus side she did have her uses, even if they were only to serve as a good example to dc on how not to behave like an asshat. On occasion it was as informative as an Attenborough documentary

Long story short(er), she's become a victim of her own toxicity. Last I spoke to her DD, after a fall, she was to stay temporarily in respite care on leaving hospital. Her own DD would not have her.

That was years ago now. Her house remains empty, falling further into dereliction. She's obviously not moving back & I could not be more pleased.

I wouldn't say that karma has a way so much as people like this always seem to bring about their own fate.

for you & your family OP. I sincerely hope you are on the mend & that events like this become a thing of the past.

I don't nutella people really can be that bloody selfish. I wouldn't have thought my neighbour would be screaming at my midwife in the street the day after my baby was born but it happened people really are that twatty

Jeeez, what a nasty evil bitch.

I can see why pp are saying ignore it, but personally I would go with what nome said but that's me.

How awful to have such a vile creature of a human being living next door to you. I'm a strong believer in karma. What goes around comes around and all that.

Really hope you feel better OP