To think this 'nut free policy' is OTT for a school

[MerryMarigold]

So, letter home about next term's 'nut free' policy and I think it's a bit extreme but tell me what you think. In packed lunches (I will have 3 having packed lunch next year), we are not allowed to include:

• Fruit and cereal bars which contain nuts
• Sesame seed rolls
• Nutella
• Peanut butter
• Cakes made with nuts
• Muesli bars
• Baklava/ Nougat/ Turkish Delight
• Any packets of nuts

I would assume we are not allowed to give them pistachios in a Tupperware box either.

Anyway, my point is that how can they police it this closely? I know some kids cannot come into ANY contact with nuts, but for example, my kids would have nuts in granola at breakfast and probably not always wash their hands before school (if they remembered to clean their teeth when they first get up). I also refuse to check the ingredient list of everything I put into a packed lunch for 3 children so there are bound to be nuts in something they end up having.

Nuts are very healthy and nutritious, so we basically need to swap nut based products for something less healthy. I am most upset about the Muesli bars and no cakes made with nuts. Ds1 is a major food-refuser. He has never managed school dinners and food at home is an issue too. He nearly always has a muesli bar in his lunch, which I suppose I will need to substitute with biscuits. And sometimes I would include cakes made with nuts just to up his nutrition at lunchtime a bit. He doesn't like any form of meat, fish or cheese in his sandwiches.

I do sympathise that there are (a very few) people who have a 'life threatening reaction to nut products' (quoted on the 'nut free policy' letter). However, I would assume they do carry an epi-pen as it is impossible to create a completely nut free environment in a large school of children who are eating nuts at least at home. So, in reality it is not life threatening unless there is a child who has an unknown severe nut allergy. I would even be compassionate if it was stated that a child (without mentioning names) had had a reaction several times in school, but I very much doubt a child has reacted at school, and there may not even be a child with a severe nut allergy, so this is just scare mongering really.

SO, I do need to feel more positive about this and the extra work it will cause me, the extra moaning from my child and the reduction in nutrition. Please tell me off gently! I've had a bad night with not much sleep though, so please bear with me.

We have a similar list at school, with the addition of coconut.

Yes, checking out foods for certain ingredients can be a pain but children have allergies so you could respect that.
Plus avoiding the items during school snack time and packed lunches is easy once you get used to it.

I'm going to put it bluntly OP you are selfish and I pity your kids! My baby has a nut allergy and I spend a lot of time fretting and worrying over the most precious thing in this world...his health! I am terrified of people like you!!! So your dear little sweety can't have a flipping (unhealthy) cereal bar....my heart cries out for you. Thank god I was blessed with my child and he didn't end up in your care. You need to get a grip and look at the bigger picture the school is being responsible, you are not. You are right, they are not going to police every lunchbox they trust parents to do the right thing so just DO IT!!

Wow some of the attitudes on this thread have shocked me. My 3 year old son has a nut allergy as does my 4 year old nephew and all it takes is for other parents to show some compassion and consideration for them to not be put at unnecessary risk! Yes there are nutrients in nuts but there are plenty of nut free options for that one meal! So please just think and if it was your child I'm guessing you wouldn't be so blase!

shellygirl78 maybe they should ostracise your child by making them sit on their own at a table to eat their nut laden lunch

Tbh, nut bans seem to be one of the things I've only ever heard about on Mumsnet. I've never come across a school with a nut ban. But back to your point and I think YANBU. I understand that some children can have very severe reactions to nuts but why should that mean that your child should have to have a restricted diet? On another point, I always thought that sesame seeds were fine to be consumed by nut allergy suffers?

why should that mean that your child should have to have a restricted diet?

Because a child or adult with a serious nut allergy could go into anaphylaxis and potentially die as a result.

Because having to witness a classmate go into anaphylaxis is a potentially traumatising and harrowing experience, especially for young children.

Because there are plenty of opportunities outside of school for op's child to get their nut fix. Not having nuts at school is hardly a 'restricted diet'.

Are people really this self entitled these days? How scary.

Bloody hell yes YABU !! Nut allergy is a life threatening illness. It's not a product of a neurotic mother, it's not an intolerance it's life threatening. My youngest has an off the scale allergy and attitudes like yours scare me witless. My child had epipens that he carries everywhere, but they are to buy him time and aren't a guarantee of survival, but you think your chiild's right to a Nutella sandwich at school is more important than his life. Moaning your child has to be nut free for one meal in a school day - jeez how selfish can you get. Shall we remove drink driving laws because some people have managed to not kill another person whilst driving under the influence? If it was your child you would feel very different, lucky for you your children don't have an allergy that could KILL them.

It does annoy me, our infant school also has a no nut policy, even though there is no child with a severe nut allergy because I have been in the school office and they have a photo up on the wall of the children with epi-pens and none of them are allergic to nuts!

They did have a girl with several allergies (though not nuts!) and she used to sit on a separate table to eat her lunch (with one friend who she could choose) to ensure she never came into contact with other people's food.

They also have a very strict no sharing policy when it comes to packed lunches, plus nearly everyone has school dinners. So i think it's a bit daft.
When it's a cake sale people are told not to bake with nuts, which I also think is a bit silly, because if your child genuinely had a severe allergy you wouldn't buy them a cake from the cake sale anyway, because other people's kitchens are not necessarily nut free.

At our junior school there is no such rule about nuts. I personally feel that if your child of school age has a genuine severe allergy then it it is your responsibility to drum into them from a very early age that they must never eat food that someone else other than you has given them, never share friends' snacks or lunch etc because they can't be sure of ingredients. Even a 5 year old can understand that if it is an absolute rule you have always reminded them of. And in my experience children who do have allergies are very aware of what they can and can't have, presumably because it has been drummed into them by parents.

If there is a child in a school with a severe allergy then of course it is useful for staff to be aware of it and monitor them closely whenever there is food around, but I do think a blanket ban over the whole school is excessive and unnecessary.

Tickle 76
OP, in my opinion YANBU. I regularly care for two children who have severe allergies (including nuts, dairy, eggs) requiring both to have an epi pen with them at all times. At the age of three, both are very clear in what foods they can and can't eat, and very quickly ask an appropriate adult if a new or offered foodstuff is ok for them. I would therefore expect school age children to be even more capable of managing their own allergies.

Wow your blase attitude really concerns me. I would not want you to be looking after my kids - you clearly don't understand all the implications. Allergies to nuts are allergies to proteins which the body doesn't recognise instead responding as if it is an allergen - all proteins can be airborne (rather like pollen) in a sneeze, saliva etc. Given you look after children you should be educating yourself rather than dismissing the concerns of parents that actually understand how this works. My son has always asked and checked about the food he eats - the time that nearly killed him was when he was at a friend's house - they knew about his allergy and they took their eye off the ball as did he. We're all human, so expecting children, teenagers; adults to be always vigilant is desirable but not always possible. We have to try to do what we can to help them. It's a bit like saying - you're a careful driver as are all your kids, so you don't need to wear seatbelts - but that doesn't factor in all the variables like other reckless drivers - sheesh!

Oh by the way the child with allergies had an anaphylactic reaction to potatoes and bananas. Funnily enough they didn't ban either of these from the school since they were in practically every school dinner and lunchbag. Oh, yeah, that would have been way too much of a PITA. Amazingly, they managed to ensure she didn't come into contact with these common substances.

Of course it's not fucking OTT!
A child could actually die versus a child doesn't like lots of food.
FFS

Haven't read full thread, but I think these blanket bans on nuts are unreasonable. If there is a child with nut anaphylaxis, then by all means consider a nut ban to safeguard the child. But if there is no child in the school (or other setting) with a serious nut allergy, then it is unreasonable to ban what is a healthy food for all the children. There was a child in dD's class in Reception with a life threatening dairy allergy (serious anaphylaxis in case of any contact) but never at any point was it suggested that the entire school should go dairy free to protect her. She knew not to eat anything except what was sent in from home, and always had her kit with her ( antihistamines, epi-pen etc). So why do nuts have to be banned, rather than any allergic child coped with and kept safe?

It's not OTT. There's clearly a child in the school who could DIE if they are exposed to nuts.
I think that just a teeny little bit more important than anyone being put out by having to read a list and select alternative food for lunchboxes.

How would you feel if it was your child? Those parents put their trust in the school everyday to return their child alive to them. I do that (my son is anaphylactic to nuts/dairy/fish) and it would be such a big relief to know that lunch boxes from home contain safe foods.

Sandbag It's already been established that unlike other allergies, a child doesn't have to have a reaction by eating a nut product. Even being in the same room as them, or touching a child who may have nut residue on their hands is enough to trigger a reaction for some. This doesn't often happen with other allergens hence there's no need to ban as simply ensuring the child doesn't consume them is enough.

I agree with sandbagsatdawn, I think that her school's policy is very sensible. It should be the responsibility of the allergy suffer to avoid the nuts, not the responsibility of everyone to do that for them! How far can it go. Make everyone eat their lunch in a separate room just because someone might be allergic to something?!

I've just read your original post again, OP, and if you're for real (and not some Daily Mail writer wanker) then - seriously?
You say you refuse to check the ingredients lists of foods you're going to put into the lunch boxes when it's now been brought to your attention that a child obviously has a life-threatening condition.
How bloody selfish and self-centred.
People like you are the reason I worry every lunchtime.
Count yourself lucky that your children don't have these issues and please try to think more about others.

So why do nuts have to be banned, rather than any allergic child coped with and kept safe?

Because some nut anaphylaxis can be triggered simply by being in the same room as a nut. Unlike most other allergies.

I work closely with a good friend who has a nut allergy which can be brought on by someone opening a packet of nuts at the other end of our (large) open-plan office. I also know of a number of children at our primary school who suffer anaphylaxis with any kind of nut exposure, so yes I do think YABU. I've seen what happens and epipens are not miracle cures - they stave off the worst of the symptoms for (hopefully) long enough for an ambulance to arrive, that's all. Nut allergies kill and a blanket ban on nuts - as our preschool and school both imposed - seems both sensible and proportionate. Imagine if it was your child whose health, and possibly survival, was dependent upon the actions of those around him? Wouldn't you want them to take as many precautions as possible?

OP i think you've been given a hard time on this thread (but it is AIBU)

The list is OTT - but then i think nut bans should be banned.
I think schools should work with Allergy UK, and come up with a better system to protect and educate children and prepare them better for secondary school and the teenage years - where most events of anaphylaxis occur sadly.

My dd has allergy to egg, milk, soya and tomato. My ds to strawberry and kewi.

Like the OP i need to feed my dd nuts/nut products to ensure she gets enough protein daily.
If school said no nut products before school I would not comply - we use Tahini or peanut butter for every breakfast or lunchtime in order to meet the level of calcium she needs daily - for dairy free kids you have to use any means you can or you put their bones at risk.
So yes if asked I would send a nut free lunch in - but in my home I would need to use breakfast to give the peanut butter/tahini - then i can give fish with bones for lunch, and green veg at dinner......
Of course for parents whose children aren't dairy free there are no such concerns, but life isn't always as simple as 'ffs its only 5 meals you can't eat nuts for!' Its not about enjoying nuts, its about feeding my child enough things she can eat to be healthy and grow which will not make her sick either.

And yes to the PP who said about growing tomatoes/strawberries in the corner of the classroom! How is that justified if a nut ban is in place....

bostoncremecrazy

We have to follow a dairy/nut free diet and there are so many other ways to get the daily dose of calcium, such as fortified cereals/Oatly milk/green, leafy veg and using supplements like Osteocare.

we choose not to use artificial supplements.
She does drink small amounts of oat milk, but nowhere near the daily amount needed - i also encourage 200ml of calcium enriched orange juice but again she doesn't drink enough.
we give cereal but she pushes it around the bowl, in contrast a wrap with fish or peanut butter is guaranteed to be eaten....
the tahini/peanut butter, fish with bones, and green veg is the combination i know gives her the calcium she needs.

thanks though, its always good to hear a new idea!

No, I'm not a Daily Fail writer (God, forbid). I'm not a good enough writer even by their standards, but my politics are definitely at the other extreme!

I'm also fairly confident I'm not a selfish person, even if I look at what I have done for people outside my immediate family in the last couple of weeks. But go ahead, call names if it makes you feel better.

I'm also sorry if my OP was aggressive. I was very tired as I mentioned and wanted a vent/ moan whilst realising I needed more information so it was a combination of the two I guess.

I would like to clarify AGAIN that I wasn't coming on here to ask whether I should abide by the nut free policy. It's the school policy so I will. I just wanted to feel better about it.

Thanks for the more measured responses. I do feel much 'better' about the policy now, in the sense of being more informed and therefore more able to be compassionate.

I'm not convinced this policy is the right way to go if major charities/ campaigns are saying it isn't, but I am certainly not educated enough to make that call and even IF it MAY be necessary to stop a child from having a bad reaction, then it is worth it.

I hope this is useful to the thread.

I grew up on peanut butter and hazelnut meringues (with cream and raspberries - yum). But one day after eating s boots pesto salad I got an itchy mouth. A few years later I ate s banana ice cream and again got an itchy mouth that left my throat feeling raw and made me feel asthmatic. I wondered if I'd gained an allergy to peanuts but since I was still eating peanut butter, thought nothing of it. Then, aged 32, I travelled to Spain. I was into Museli at te time and took some from Waitrose in the suitcase with me. After 5 hours travelling from the airport in Spain including having a massive row it's my dh as to which was the right town direction etc we finally found our villa and settled our 2.5 dd into bed and collapsed into ours. The following morning we unpacked. It had rained a lot overnight and to add to the stress we found that the kitchen and flooded. I made breakfast and took a mouthful myself whilst dh took his bowl and dd's out to the garden. I wandered back into the bedroom. The first thing I remember was s feeling that ants were exploding from my mouth. I immediately took an antihistamine but realised within seconds that I was in serious trouble. My dh also realised by looking st me. He grabbed the phone and we drove straight to what we thought was the local hospital but turned out to be a doctors/local medical centre. It took 7 minutes in total. By the time we got there, I no longer had any ability to speak because my mouth and tongue had swollen to the point where not only could I not breathe through my mouth, I doubt you would have been able to have inserted a pin in. I was breathing purely through straightening up my wind pipe and breathing through my nose - but it was touch and go and I was desperately trying not to panic. According to my dh it took six people trying to insert a cannula whilst s seventh kept injecting me with andrenlinin to finally get me stable enough to rush me to hospital. It took them 20 minutes working on all my body to find a vein that hadn't collapsed. I lost over a litre of blood - though I can't tell you the medical reasons why. I was focused desperately on remaining calm and trying to breathe. Our first born dd still has nightmares about blood and given that she witnessed this whilst only being 2.5 years we ascribe her fear of blood to this event and probably the fear she picked up from her father, dh. For me, I can remember wondering why someone kept punching me - that's what having an andrenlinin injection feels like. A really really horrible hard punch. Finally they found a vein at which point I was stabilised enough to transfer to Cadiz hospital. For me this event is vague blurs of punches etc. But it's etched into my dh's brain and, unfortunately, my dd1's too. On return to the uk we of course applied via the nhs for tests. It took 2 years, but when they finally came up I had to admit to the head nurse that I was extremely nervous. Indeed that I would rather go through labour again etc. She was so understanding, whilst I felt such a fool. She then showed me how they took the test from 1 in 100 and diluted it again to 1 in 1000. She told me that I would not react, but that she was happy to reassure me before going back to 1 in 100. 10 minutes later I went back into analyphatic shock. Being in an allergy testing clinic meant it was dealt with without too much loss of blood or drama. However I will never forget the head matron coming over to me before finally letting me go home. She held my hand and stroked it. She made sure she had eye contact with me before saying, " never ever touch Brazil nuts, never touch anyone who has touched or eaten Brazil nuts and never allow your family near them. The next time you encounter them you will die and no epi pen will be capable of saving you."

I'm not renown for being careful. In fact I truly resent my nut allergy more than anything, but I always check. I have 4 children and my son has a slight allergy to almonds, but whilst it's at slight accidents can happen. It's when it gets to my level that it could kill him and yes I'm determined that it never gets there. Food can kill. Unfortunately whilst salomenella frightens all, nut allergies are still seen as somehow people being over the top. I hope for your sake no child of yours ever develops one or you might have to come face to face with a hidden demon that could be anywhere - if only the government were prepared to provide nut free schools!

It's a pain, but my children between them have been to 4 different primary schools. All have a no nut policy. What you need to bear in mind is that an allergy, as opposed to an intolerance, is potentially fatal. Children start school and leave. Whether someone in the class has an allergy will vary from term to term. The school needs a consistent and clear policy which doesn't chop and change all the time. A total ban, given the implications of a young child sharing a cereal bar, or cake, is really the only safe practice. I have an extremely fussy vegetarian son. It would make my life so much easier if he could take in some cashew nuts as a snack. But I don't resent it.

OP I really think you are coming across as being very selfish as long as your kids never mind the ones with nut allergies , my son has got a severe nut allergy there was an incident at the school one day it was horrific for the teachers and kids who witnessed it and worse for the child who touched his sandwich , my son ballooned right before their eyes and luckily the teachers acted quickly , we don't do sleep overs , parties are a challenge as well school is abit easier now that they have introduced this ban . Its not nice for the little ones to witness and its not nice for the child going through it especially knowing the unfortunate end result could potentially be death OP that's a scenario to digest